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My parents are in their 70s. They aren't in great health. My mother has no immunity to basically anything, and my father is just old and infirm.
My mother is demanding that I come visit, and that if I come, I stay for an extended period. That doesn't sound safe to me, since I am in an area with a high prevalence of coronavirus.
My mother demands that when I come, I have to stay only in my bedroom and in one small parlor in one corner of the house.
That doesn't sound great. Work is really busy; we're required to work remotely, but I need a desk, phone, printer, etc. I'll have to sit in a chair with no desk, with a laptop in my lap.
Would you even go?
Thanks.
No. I understand your mother is probably concerned she wouldn't see you again if she caught the virus but this is crazy. Tell your mother you will call or facetime her daily.
Thanks, everyone. The advice in this thread is pretty unanimous.
My parents are insisting that I come, though; my mother called me, almost crying, and begging that I come. Something's not right.
Yes, she is watching too much news. Tell her to stop worrying and turn off the news. That if they and you abide by the measures the government has told us to, that all will be fine. If they need help in paying for delivery of groceries do that for them. Just reassure her that you and they will be ok.
OP, cut yourself some slack. You were in a tough spot. Hindsight is always 20/20. That will never change. Move forward believing everything happens for a reason, you just may not know what it is yet.
No outbreaks but about 20 years ago I went to see my father in Texas (from WashDC) and the first full day I was there, we spent it together and then settled in for a movie after dinner. We were chatting and he didn't respond. I looked over and he was slumped over. I remember my ex and I argued over that trip. Money was tight, but I had not seen him for a bit and felt I had to go. I will never regret that trip, I had that last day with him.
OP, you have chosen to visit. Don’t best yourself up.
On your mom’s frequent contacting you—is it possible that she forgets she has sent message already? Is she losing some cognition? On your visit you could pay attention. Your parents might be flailing right now. They might need help.
Thanks, everyone. I am now with them. Despite plans to stay far away from them, my mother is my shadow, certainly not 6 feet away, even though I keep telling them to back off, and that I could have coronavirus despite seeming healthy.
My parents are in their 70s. They aren't in great health. My mother has no immunity to basically anything, and my father is just old and infirm.
My mother is demanding that I come visit, and that if I come, I stay for an extended period. That doesn't sound safe to me, since I am in an area with a high prevalence of coronavirus.
My mother demands that when I come, I have to stay only in my bedroom and in one small parlor in one corner of the house.
That doesn't sound great. Work is really busy; we're required to work remotely, but I need a desk, phone, printer, etc. I'll have to sit in a chair with no desk, with a laptop in my lap.
Would you even go?
Thanks.
No is a complete sentence.
Having said this, it sounds like they may want to protect you from the virus. No one wants to outlive their children.
Thanks, everyone. I am now with them. Despite plans to stay far away from them, my mother is my shadow, certainly not 6 feet away, even though I keep telling them to back off, and that I could have coronavirus despite seeming healthy.
Just had an idea.....when we had cats that bothered us or was being mischievous we sprayed them with a water spray bottle. You should carry one and when Mom gets too close....squirt squirt ! ....
Just some humor til mom can stay a safe distance. Also keep jumping around and saying...opps! Time to hand wash. !
OP, you have chosen to visit. Don’t best yourself up.
On your mom’s frequent contacting you—is it possible that she forgets she has sent message already? Is she losing some cognition? On your visit you could pay attention. Your parents might be flailing right now. They might need help.
Thanks, everyone. I am now with them. Despite plans to stay far away from them, my mother is my shadow, certainly not 6 feet away, even though I keep telling them to back off, and that I could have coronavirus despite seeming healthy.
You have no one to blame but yourself, but you already know that. Manipulation is a two-way street, and you are a willing dance partner. Your lack of symptoms are irrelevant. You can carry for weeks if not months. By being spineless, you have allowed yourself the very plausible possibility of infecting people you love, who are in the high-risk group, with a deadly disease. This is not the act of a loving child.
While it is too late for you to do the right thing, others may profit by reading this. Don’t make this mistake in this critical time. Stay the eff away from your older relatives until the danger is passed. No matter how whiny or pissy they get.
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