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Old 04-04-2020, 09:43 PM
 
4 posts, read 2,568 times
Reputation: 19

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My son's best friend of 5 years stays at our house all the time. He spends summers here at our house (has his own room), goes on vacation with us, even has a key to our house, etc. He is basically our #2 child. Him and my son are 14 and freshmen in high school. They are inseperable. He has always been very appreciative to my wife and I, very well behaved, hugs us all the time to say thanks, just a nice all around kid and has never really been a bother as him and my son just play video games. His parents are not exactly upper crust of society but I was taught by my grandmother I have no right to pass judgement on others.

Over the past 2 weeks when we've gone out he's had a lot of money on him, and has been spending hundreds of dollars at stores and online. Naturally, when I see a 14 year old with a wad of hundreds and twenties in his wallet I'm concerned. I asked him where he got all the cash, and he told me his mother has been giving it to him. I knew that was bs as no parent would give a kid his age that kind of money and his parents only make min wage. I called his mother who confirmed she has not given him any money.

Today I go into my master bedroom closet where I had $1,500 hidden under a folded blanket and wouldn't ya know, only $200 is there. To make a long story short, my son's best friend stole the money and had been for some time. Burglarizing my master bedroom snooping around looking for things to steal.

I confronted him, he admitted to it. He also said he told his older brother about the $ and the brother would come by and they'd do a hand off in my driveway. I called his parents who came and picked him up. They gave him an ass whipping. I took his key and told him he is never to come to our house again. And I'm out $1,300. I feel totally used and violated; almost in shock.

Was I right in throwing him out of my house and banning him from returning? The kid sent my son text messages and is now kind of playing the victim. This is a youngster that my family spent almost every day with for 5 years. My fiance says he's probably been stealing for years and it's always the one you least expect. Parents here what would you do in my shoes? Would you let the kid back in the house? Associate with your kid?
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Old 04-04-2020, 09:52 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
48,404 posts, read 46,693,254 times
Reputation: 94774
You didn't say how your own son feels about this.

What has been his reaction?
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Old 04-04-2020, 09:56 PM
 
Location: Jersey City
132 posts, read 39,891 times
Reputation: 147
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
You didn't say how your own son feels about this.

What has been his reaction?
Good question I am surprised that was left out
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Old 04-04-2020, 10:11 PM
 
1,772 posts, read 516,986 times
Reputation: 3388
Quote:
Originally Posted by CorneliusNYC View Post
My son's best friend of 5 years stays at our house all the time. He spends summers here at our house (has his own room), goes on vacation with us, even has a key to our house, etc. He is basically our #2 child. Him and my son are 14 and freshmen in high school. They are inseperable. He has always been very appreciative to my wife and I, very well behaved, hugs us all the time to say thanks, just a nice all around kid and has never really been a bother as him and my son just play video games. His parents are not exactly upper crust of society but I was taught by my grandmother I have no right to pass judgement on others.

Over the past 2 weeks when we've gone out he's had a lot of money on him, and has been spending hundreds of dollars at stores and online. Naturally, when I see a 14 year old with a wad of hundreds and twenties in his wallet I'm concerned. I asked him where he got all the cash, and he told me his mother has been giving it to him. I knew that was bs as no parent would give a kid his age that kind of money and his parents only make min wage. I called his mother who confirmed she has not given him any money.

Today I go into my master bedroom closet where I had $1,500 hidden under a folded blanket and wouldn't ya know, only $200 is there. To make a long story short, my son's best friend stole the money and had been for some time. Burglarizing my master bedroom snooping around looking for things to steal.

I confronted him, he admitted to it. He also said he told his older brother about the $ and the brother would come by and they'd do a hand off in my driveway. I called his parents who came and picked him up. They gave him an ass whipping. I took his key and told him he is never to come to our house again. And I'm out $1,300. I feel totally used and violated; almost in shock.

Was I right in throwing him out of my house and banning him from returning? The kid sent my son text messages and is now kind of playing the victim. This is a youngster that my family spent almost every day with for 5 years. My fiance says he's probably been stealing for years and it's always the one you least expect. Parents here what would you do in my shoes? Would you let the kid back in the house? Associate with your kid?
I don't like the sound of "playing the victim." Does it realize it's a crime? What about the older brother? Do they know you could press charges? Has he any remorse? Has he apologized and offered to make restitution? Does he understand how he has betrayed you?
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Old 04-04-2020, 10:12 PM
 
4 posts, read 2,568 times
Reputation: 19
My son was upset but understood. He is almost 15 and has other friends now. I’m trying to get a feel from other parents what they would’ve done if they were in my shoes. This was an off a lot of money and the kid actually went looking to burglarize.
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Old 04-04-2020, 10:18 PM
 
Location: Jersey City
132 posts, read 39,891 times
Reputation: 147
Quote:
Originally Posted by CorneliusNYC View Post
My son was upset but understood. He is almost 15 and has other friends now.
He never asked or questioned how or why his friend had all this money?
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Old 04-04-2020, 10:26 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
48,404 posts, read 46,693,254 times
Reputation: 94774
Quote:
Originally Posted by CorneliusNYC View Post
My son was upset but understood. He is almost 15 and has other friends now. I’m trying to get a feel from other parents what they would’ve done if they were in my shoes. This was an off a lot of money and the kid actually went looking to burglarize.
I would have been tempted to call the police, but I most likely would have ended any contact with this kid and his family.

I then would talk to my son, check into his activities, and get a handle on whether he truly understands the gravity of the situation.

Do you think he had any idea this was happening? Did he not wonder where his friend got all the money?
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Old 04-04-2020, 10:42 PM
 
659 posts, read 170,896 times
Reputation: 843
He should be banned from your house and banned from associating with your child.
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Old 04-04-2020, 11:35 PM
 
Location: Southern New Hampshire
7,734 posts, read 13,640,778 times
Reputation: 24686
That's funny, in your thread from January 2020 you are dating some "girl" (not even a woman ) but here you are a grown-up with a teenage kid. See https://www.city-data.com/forum/rela...l#post57014775 .

Gotta love the lies you can tell on an anonymous forum.
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Old 04-04-2020, 11:37 PM
 
4 posts, read 2,568 times
Reputation: 19
We live in a big urban area. Police dont get involved in things like this. My son had no clue and I searched his room top to bottom and found nothing.
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