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Old 05-17-2020, 05:56 AM
 
1,335 posts, read 2,005,983 times
Reputation: 6415

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Quote:
Originally Posted by prospectheightsresident View Post
At the very least, a point of clarification should have been asked, IMO. I'm not going to assume that someone means they are glad for the death of hundreds of thousands of lives unless it is absolutely clear, especially given how clumsily that text can come across. You may, but I don't.
Check her posting history-quick to judge and definitively always right.
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Old 05-17-2020, 06:06 AM
 
Location: Sydney Australia
725 posts, read 416,264 times
Reputation: 1123
I know a family who have five children. The mother has resumed working as an architect about a year ago when her husband’s work situation became unstable. Can you imagine the stress of working remotely and supervising four school aged kids and a preschooler? The mother actually chose and was able to to spend quite a few years as a stay at home mother and transitioned into a different stage of her life. In this country, and I am sure in most others, families have mortgage obligations, schooling costs and many other living costs which cannot necessarily be covered by the income of the father of the children.

In any case, it is 2020, not 1950. My daughter earns probably triple what her husband does and if anyone was going to stay home with the kids, it would be him.

We have one grandkid back at school, and it looks hopeful for the other two to get back full time in another week. Ah, one week more, one more week! The one in his first year of school had only had a few weeks when the virus hit. The first week he was able to come to me for help, before our restrictions got stricter. He insisted on wearing his new school uniform (all kids wear them here) to my house. I am just so glad he is back at school. Actually the school gave the families the choice of returning to school or to continue online. By Friday every child in his class was back.

A minor problem with the return to school is that the kids are complaining that their school shoes are too tight. We think it is because they have been running around at home barefoot since March. But the busiest shops at the mall on Saturday, after the Apple store, were the shoe shops where kids with parents were lining up to buy shoes. So perhaps not just ours with this issue.
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Old 05-17-2020, 12:18 PM
 
Location: colorado springs, CO
7,135 posts, read 3,165,916 times
Reputation: 20953
I have been 'working ' (uncompensated) as my youngest, disabled son's caregiver for 13 years now & this has been a blessing for me, although tbh, I thought it was going to be a disaster at first.

By winter break, three of the four adults in his classroom (BOCES school for children with severe needs) had active workmans comp cases due to injuries he inflicted ( he is now 6 foot 5 inches tall and weighs 230 lbs, at age 16). His teacher was in bed all Christmas with a concussion (one blow). Property damage included several desks, chairs, two computers, two trash cans, a projector & the window he put his head through. That was just the first semester. (except the head & window was in March)

This all took place in a school equipped with a code response team of large men wearing handcuffs, radios & other restraints (he's not the only child there with these issues, just the largest by far) & a classroom ratio of 4:8.

At home, it's mostly just me. His older siblings are grown & gone & his 64 year old dad works 14 hour days, 6 days a week. As you might imagine, "Stay at home " posed some unique concerns for me. Like "I may not survive this, regardless of COVID ". Many of my peers, all moms of great big boys with severe autism; were equally despondent.

But that's not the way it went down.

We didn't stay home. We went up to the mountains hiking every day. He got a little too much sun & a lot of exercise, away from people & traffic. His Immunologist had a cancellation & with a bit of a scuffle, we were able to get his blood work done which revealed exactly why his behavior became so extreme with puberty. One week later all appointments switched to telemedicine. He is now on a medication protocol that is reducing the neuroinflammation he was suffering. NOT those dangerous psych meds that make autistic kids worse.

I don't have that crippling anxiety after putting him on the bus & waiting for that inevitable phone call. This week he has slept through the night... First time in 13 years. Admittedly, I had no income to lose, the autism epidemic stole that 13 years ago but that's not necessarily been all bad because I already know how to live on very little. I've only spent $400 of my stimulus that came two weeks ago. I'm not getting clobbered 10 times a day or attacked in my sleep. I'm even getting a bit of a tan & I have lost 10 lbs. Still hiking every day.

I don't mean to minimize anyone else's recent struggles & especially not any loss of loved ones from COVID, I am just relating my blessing in disguise. When society had to accommodate people "at home "; things got easier for me not harder. I will be in a better place when COVID ends than I was when it started. Honestly as long as my family stays healthy I will be okay, the other stuff is just ... Stuff.
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Old 05-17-2020, 02:18 PM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
19,675 posts, read 12,749,992 times
Reputation: 41458
Quote:
Originally Posted by vision33r View Post
Background, my kids are all teenagers now. I've always been working long hours and rarely get to enjoy my earned time off. I've never get to see my kids as much during normal times and with this pandemic it brings families closer than before.

In a typical working day, I would see my kids in the morning as I drop them off for school and then come home for dinner around 7pm and would only see them probably around 2 hours the most each day.

Now, we have breakfast, lunch, and dinner together everyday. My kids are healthier now since we have more time to prepare their food at home. My youngest son was getting overweight from eating too many snacks in the school. Now he is less overweight. My daughter was too skinny because she doesn't like school lunch but now she is gaining weight because she eats more food at home that she enjoys.

As for schooling, we ensure our kids are up everyday and have breakfast then hop on their remote school sessions and do their homework before they get to relax.

I also require they do more chores around the house just to stay active. I believe in the short run this is good for them. I would hope they can return to school by next Fall so they still have time to prepare for college entrance.
You are what I call a good, loving parent. You are enjoying the time you all get to spend together, which is something we have lost in this world today...……...parents are running one direction, kids running another direction, and then we wonder why they grow up and are strangers to us.

Some of us put family over everything, my sons are, and were, everything to me. We enjoyed the little things, like you outlined, just eating meals together, watching TV as a family, and doing everything else as a family.

We have lost that, and the one upside to this virus is that a lot of parents are forced to become parents again. It was a job I loved and have very fond memories of, and it looks like you are finding that joy too.

Some of my fondest memories, when my kids were very young, was that we had little money at that time, and when we all got to go out to a restaurant and eat together, it was a treat for all of us. There is more to life than money.
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Old 05-17-2020, 02:19 PM
 
Location: Central IL
16,820 posts, read 10,009,396 times
Reputation: 39818
Quote:
Originally Posted by vision33r View Post
Background, my kids are all teenagers now. I've always been working long hours and rarely get to enjoy my earned time off. I've never get to see my kids as much during normal times and with this pandemic it brings families closer than before.

In a typical working day, I would see my kids in the morning as I drop them off for school and then come home for dinner around 7pm and would only see them probably around 2 hours the most each day.

Now, we have breakfast, lunch, and dinner together everyday. My kids are healthier now since we have more time to prepare their food at home. My youngest son was getting overweight from eating too many snacks in the school. Now he is less overweight. My daughter was too skinny because she doesn't like school lunch but now she is gaining weight because she eats more food at home that she enjoys.

As for schooling, we ensure our kids are up everyday and have breakfast then hop on their remote school sessions and do their homework before they get to relax.

I also require they do more chores around the house just to stay active. I believe in the short run this is good for them. I would hope they can return to school by next Fall so they still have time to prepare for college entrance.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vision33r View Post
That's live to work problem with Americans. You should put your family first and foremost and make decisions prioritizing your family. Losing a job in this pandemic is not your anyone's fault and you can get longer term unemployment benefits and get rent or mortgage assistance. Feeding a family now shouldn't be a big problem unless you don't have enough savings and have too much debt. If you lost your job, other than paying for food and basic utilities, the rent and mortgage payments can be stalled if you work it out with the lenders.

Those single moms with special needs kids, now is the perfect time to spend some time at home with your kid instead of relying on outside care which can be very expensive. I know moms that have to drop their kid off daily at child care and it isn't cheap at all around here. Now with work from home, you can make adjustments to ensure you can take care of your kids and do your work.

Single moms should benefit even more from working from home.
First the crowing then the judgments from on high - didn't even take more than a single page. I had a feeling when you were talking about "we" that this was coming. You have the ideal combination of factors making this work for you - then you lay all the blame on everyone else when it's not so easy for their situations.
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Old 05-17-2020, 02:43 PM
 
13,476 posts, read 21,854,841 times
Reputation: 36990
Quote:
Originally Posted by don1945 View Post
You are what I call a good, loving parent. You are enjoying the time you all get to spend together, which is something we have lost in this world today...……...parents are running one direction, kids running another direction, and then we wonder why they grow up and are strangers to us.

Some of us put family over everything, my sons are, and were, everything to me. We enjoyed the little things, like you outlined, just eating meals together, watching TV as a family, and doing everything else as a family.

We have lost that, and the one upside to this virus is that a lot of parents are forced to become parents again. It was a job I loved and have very fond memories of, and it looks like you are finding that joy too.

Some of my fondest memories, when my kids were very young, was that we had little money at that time, and when we all got to go out to a restaurant and eat together, it was a treat for all of us. There is more to life than money.
Why do you assume parents wouldn't like to live the glorious life of caring for their children without worrying about also providing for their needs? I work for a charity, and know first hand how this pandemic has dealt a blow to families who were previously "making it".

I do see the bright side of families staying home together and rediscovering the fun of simpler entertainment.
But it's wrong to ignore the dark side. Parents are losing their jobs and scared.
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Old 05-17-2020, 03:00 PM
 
Location: Sydney Australia
725 posts, read 416,264 times
Reputation: 1123
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
Why do you assume parents wouldn't like to live the glorious life of caring for their children without worrying about also providing for their needs? I work for a charity, and know first hand how this pandemic has dealt a blow to families who were previously "making it".

I do see the bright side of families staying home together and rediscovering the fun of simpler entertainment.
But it's wrong to ignore the dark side. Parents are losing their jobs and scared.
Well said.
The lack of empathy of some people is staggering.
Obviously middle class parents who choose to involve their kids in multiple activities may see advantages in cutting back somewhat.
But it should not take a pandemic to make them consider their choices.
It is all the issues that people have not chosen and have no control over, that make this time so very difficult.
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Old 05-17-2020, 05:14 PM
 
15,330 posts, read 840,546 times
Reputation: 24323
This may be a blessing for those whose living and working arrangements are positively impacted. This bubble is not available to the majority. Most families depend on paychecks sooner or later. Children especially small ones and those with needs need routines. There is a lot of insecurity and simple scare going around. You may be a lucky at this point. Please enjoy it.
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Old 05-17-2020, 05:57 PM
 
Location: USA
483 posts, read 152,742 times
Reputation: 1922
If families are a close unit with structure, discipline, expectations, and consistency as the norm, maybe this "time" is not a bad thing.
But for those families who are severely dysfunctional - it is a nightmare. The cases of abuse, suicide, addiction, etc., are rising with the pressures that this "togetherness" is presenting; parenting, in addition to education and work - or unemployment.
It's too much for most. Isolation is our worst enemy now.
It's my hope that as our country reopens and regains its footings, that the aforementioned tragedies can be averted, or, at the least, treated.
It's day by day for all of us, and we need to take a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other. That's all we can do, and everything we can do.
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Old 05-17-2020, 06:06 PM
 
8,878 posts, read 4,589,887 times
Reputation: 18136
Quote:
Originally Posted by wac_432 View Post
Well, it sucks for us, and we're lucky. We have more freedom than many, and our twins are best friends, so they're not missing out much on outside socializing.

The biggest, among many downsides, is the fact that the kids haven't seen their grandparents in person in over 6 months on one side and over a year on the other. Now there's a good chance some of their grandparents will die before they get to see them again.

This is very sad. I'm so sorry.
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