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Hi all. I wasn’t sure where else to post this, so I’ll post here.
Two years ago, we moved into a new home. We have about .25 acres and where our patio is faces the backyard of the neighbors behind us. The neighbors moved in last July, and we’ve gotten to be nice acquaintances with them. We exchange food, conversation along the property line and all have kids. Two weeks after they moved in, they installed a pool, which was placed on the far end of their property, about 10 feet from our property line and about 30 feet from the start of our back patio. Now, their 6 and 8 year old are out there playing daily with friends.
Unfortunately for us, their daughter shrieks constantly - all day - while in the pool. I don’t mean yell, or laugh, I mean an ear piercing shriek that makes our ears ring when we’re trying to sit in our screened in porch or on our patio. Last week, we had an adult [social distancing] happy hour on our back patio. All six adults couldn’t have a conversation, and we had to call it quits after about 20 minutes because we couldn’t enjoy each other’s company. All the happy hour attendees have young children, and all were shocked that the neighbors allow their kids to be so incessantly loud. It can be heard throughout our house, and goes on for hours upon hours during the daytime. I brought my echo outside in an attempt to drown out the noise, but it does nothing. The shrieks are going on as I’m typing this, and it was so loud, I was startled while watching TV.
I don’t easily get bothered, especially when it comes to hearing children play. There are much worse noises we can hear but, my gosh - it’s horrid. We don’t want to be enemies with our neighbors, which is why I asked my wife to refrain from speaking with her parents about it. But at this point, I’m not sure what else to do to have some sort of quality of life both inside and outside our home. Many parents are very defensive of their children and I don’t want to be at odds with the neighbors.
Soliciting thoughts on how to proceed, if at all.
My heart goes out to you. Just no. This is not remotely OK.
Our children were raised with a backyard inground pool, with a slide, a diving board, lots of pool toys, and other fun things. We wanted our house to be the neighborhood hang out, so we could keep them close to home, and get to know their friends and their parents.
We had rules though. No rough play, no running, no foul language and no screaming, shouting, or unnecessary loudness. We were not afraid to say "keep it down" or to close the pool for the day if the did not comply.
We lived on one acre - not acreage. Being respectful of neighbors was important to us. We didn't want any problems. We also wanted our children to respect our neighbors, who were a couple with grown children. Generally, when they got home from work and went out for a swim, cocktails with friends, or other adult gatherings, my kids were in, showering, and getting ready for dinner.
We also limited the time they could spend in the pool. There were no ten-hour days.
This was over a decade ago. Have parents completely changed?
I know you want to keep the peace, but you have no peace right now. You have the right to enjoy your own back yard and enjoy adult fun.
I would just mention that sometimes the shrieking from the pool gets loud and that it's impossible to ignore. Ask them if they would mind speaking to their kids about the loud play. The laughter is fine. shrieking is not.
What I wouldn't do - record it the first time. And I would not single out the little girl. People sometimes get very defensive about their "princesses". So, I'd just say "the children".
Telling them that the volume interrupted your cocktail hour and your guests left, should be enough. Speaking of which, by 5 PM my kids and their friends were showering and getting ready for dinner.
Hi all. I wasn’t sure where else to post this, so I’ll post here.
Two years ago, we moved into a new home. We have about .25 acres and where our patio is faces the backyard of the neighbors behind us. The neighbors moved in last July, and we’ve gotten to be nice acquaintances with them. We exchange food, conversation along the property line and all have kids. Two weeks after they moved in, they installed a pool, which was placed on the far end of their property, about 10 feet from our property line and about 30 feet from the start of our back patio. Now, their 6 and 8 year old are out there playing daily with friends.
Unfortunately for us, their daughter shrieks constantly - all day - while in the pool. I don’t mean yell, or laugh, I mean an ear piercing shriek that makes our ears ring when we’re trying to sit in our screened in porch or on our patio. Last week, we had an adult [social distancing] happy hour on our back patio. All six adults couldn’t have a conversation, and we had to call it quits after about 20 minutes because we couldn’t enjoy each other’s company. All the happy hour attendees have young children, and all were shocked that the neighbors allow their kids to be so incessantly loud. It can be heard throughout our house, and goes on for hours upon hours during the daytime. I brought my echo outside in an attempt to drown out the noise, but it does nothing. The shrieks are going on as I’m typing this, and it was so loud, I was startled while watching TV.
I don’t easily get bothered, especially when it comes to hearing children play. There are much worse noises we can hear but, my gosh - it’s horrid. We don’t want to be enemies with our neighbors, which is why I asked my wife to refrain from speaking with her parents about it. But at this point, I’m not sure what else to do to have some sort of quality of life both inside and outside our home. Many parents are very defensive of their children and I don’t want to be at odds with the neighbors.
Soliciting thoughts on how to proceed, if at all.
Before I sold my house, there was a family two doors down that would let their kids scream at the top of their lungs. It drove me crazy. I sold my house to a family with 6 young children. Their father, a gym teacher, asked me if they thought the older couple next door would mind if they put a swimming pool in the backyard. I told him as long as the children don't scream and make a lot of noise, the couple won't mind. His response was "Well, kids are kids!" So he didn't care how his screaming children would inconvenience his neighbors.
I would do one of two things....the next time the kid is screaming, look over the fence and ask her to quiet it down or the next time you talk to one of her parents, ask them if they would tell their child to stop screaming. Either way, I think it will cause hard feelings but you didn't cause the problem, they did. They are being inconsiderate and rude.
I live in a very rural area. It would be a hike to walk to my neighbors house. I have neighbors that live four houses away that target practice with high powered rifles for hours. Their parents divorced, moved out and left the adult sons in the house and they don't care how their noisy lifestyle affects the neighbors. They fired something one day that shook the homes a half mile away. I thought a commercial jet was crashing in my back field, so you can imagine how loud it was. The men in the area are afraid to confront them and it is a waste of time to get the police involved. Our Town leaders refuse to do anything, even as far as asking them to clean up the crap all over their yard. We have lost good neighbors bc on this one rude and obnoxious one.
The only way to stop people like this is to get the neighbors together and have a little discussion with them. There is strength in numbers. If not, give them the cold shoulder and maybe they will get the hint. I never let my children scream at the top of their lungs and I don't want to hear anyone else's kids doing it.
That was my thought as well. If it's that bad and I were the parents, I wouldn't put up with it for my own sanity, let alone anyone else's.
Peoples' obliviousness shocks me, too.
Some parents today are oblivious to the antics of their little darlings.
I personally have a very low tolerance for shrieking. The little girl is not an animal. She should be told that shrieking is never OK - unless you are in danger.
Repetitive high pitched screaming is a symptom of neurological damage. And it's becoming more and more the norm lately.
I have eleven kids ages 16-34 & started noticing it at the school, in the neighborhood, on field trips & on the playgrounds around 2006-ish. Constant shrieking without any provocation.
I know exactly what you are experiencing & it rattles the brain. Really bizarre. As the mom of many I love the sound of children playing but that sound has been replaced by almost encephalitic style, eardrum piercing screams. My youngest has severe autism. I know the sound well.
Just FYI, if you're thinking about following all the police/lawyer advice: you don't have a leg to stand on. Children screaming is considered typical neighborhood noise by all city bylaws and--as long as it does not occur during typical quiet hours (8pm-8am)--there's nothing you can do, legally.
I know this because we had an adult next door who tried running a woodworking business out of his garage. He would saw at over 100 decibels for hours on end. I guarantee that little girl next door is not generating 1/2 the noise levels nearly as long. Human vocal cords have limits, and she would develop nodules on hers that would progress to permanent damage very quickly if she were sustaining her maximum volume without letup for hours.
Anyway, the typical residential noise limits are codified by decibel levels and times. You can look them up in your city bylaws, but you're wasting your time, since there's always a clause exempting normal neighborhood noises like children playing, yard equipment, and sawing wood.
That's why I suggested a nice request coupled with a peace offering. Worked with my neighbor. He still was loud as the Dickens, but he did mostly honor our reasonable request to avoid certain times.
If there's a way to invite one of the parents over while kids are in the pool, that would be ideal. You didn't say if the child was the six or the eight year old. As someone else mentioned..... she will eventually, most likely, out grow the screaming. But it could be a few years.
Do you have an HOA? If so, what do the bylaws say about noise? Does your neighborhood have an online or Facebook group? Could you address the issue there?
If there's a way to invite one of the parents over while kids are in the pool, that would be ideal. You didn't say if the child was the six or the eight year old. As someone else mentioned..... she will eventually, most likely, out grow the screaming. But it could be a few years.
You really can not say that she will grow out of it. Tweens and teens also love pools and some of the worst incidents of noise from visiting guests was from my daughter and her friends. However, they stopped when one of us said something. And it was NOT an everyday occurrence.
What the OP describes is the norm, not the exception.
It is up to parents to instill respect for others. Children are not hard-wired to know that. With kids, if it feels good, they do it. If shrieking feels good to this little girl, she's not going to stop on her own.
The parents are not deaf, to my knowledge. Either it just does not bother them and they are not sensitive enough towards the feelings of others, or worse, they somehow find it cute.
Children LOVE water and pools are "kid magnets" - not only 6 and 8 year olds, but 16 and 18 year olds.
Calling the police is a really bad idea on many levels. They want people to work these things out on their own. Also, the law is on the parents' side. In most locations, the cut off for loud music (which honestly, I'd prefer to THIS) is usually 10 or 11.
So, I hope, for the poster's sake, that this can be resolved with the parents.
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