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Hi
I’m in a relationship with a man who has three adult sons ages 17, 19 and 22.
My boyfriend has a cellphone plan where his sons are included and he pays every month for it. The problem is that there’s been times when he can’t pay it because his job doesn’t pay on time and he doesn’t have savings either because he doesn’t have control over his finances. So the first thing he does is ask me to pay for the monthly plan and that he’ll pay me back.
This makes me uncomfortable because even though he pays me back, I think he should be telling his sons to help him, as they are the ones that use the cellphone service and they’re old enough. Why do I have to pay for something that is not my responsibility? I’m not included in the plan. Only my boyfriend and his 3 sons.
It’s like he doesn’t want to bother his sons and wants to look good in front of them, but he doesn’t mind asking me to pay. He has done it several times.
The 22 year old son got his first phone at the age of 13 and my boyfriend has always pay for him. Isn’t it time for him to be a man and grow up??? I don’t know for how long my boyfriend is planning on supporting his sons but he keeps complaining that he’s broke and it’s because he doesn’t make his sons responsible for anything.
The 22 year old also spends his days sleeping and playing video games while my boyfriend works every day. I work too. But my boyfriend seems to be okay with his son not doing anything productive with his life. He has been unemployed for almost 8 months. Why does he feel bad asking his sons to help financially and to work like productive members of society? The young men don’t even pay for college because my boyfriend fully supports all 3 of them. Is this normal parenting? Should I be okay helping my boyfriend pay for the cellphone service?
All these questions--have you asked your boyfriend these questions? Maybe he feels guilty from the divorce, maybe he wants the teenagers to concentrate on school. Who knows? Ask him, but you are definitely not responsible for the cell bill.
BTW, why doesn't he have control over his finances? Is there some outside force at work here or is he just irresponsible?
My kids are 15 and 18. I pay for their phones. We have a plan where it's $25 per line per month. I've offered to put my mom on it too and pay for hers. Right now I don't want my 18 year old to work or my 15 year old to babysit because of the pandemic, so I won't be asking them to pay for their phones anytime soon.
I do think it's weird that your boyfriend can pay for college for his kids but has to borrow from you to pay his cell bill.
The question isn't really whether or not the kids should be paying for their phones, it's really why a grown man feels comfortable asking a non-family member to cover his expenses. He shouldn't be.
As far as when the offspring pay for what, that's up to individual families. We were ok paying their expenses while they were still students, and since youngest went for his PhD, that meant age 28. Family plans aren't that much more than paying for 2.
The question isn't really whether or not the kids should be paying for their phones, it's really why a grown man feels comfortable asking a non-family member to cover his expenses. He shouldn't be.
As far as when the offspring pay for what, that's up to individual families. We were ok paying their expenses while they were still students, and since youngest went for his PhD, that meant age 28. Family plans aren't that much more than paying for 2.
Family plans are often a lot cheaper than individual plans. On my plan an extra line is only an extra $20 a month but a separate plan is $60 a month. So three people on one plan only pay $100 total and if they had three plans the total would be $180 a month. And, on some plans extra lines are even cheaper.
I know "kids", in their 30s to 60s, that share a plan with their parents, in their 70s to 80s. But often the kids are paying for their parents.
hi
i’m in a relationship with a man who has three adult sons ages 17, 19 and 22.
My boyfriend has a cellphone plan where his sons are included and he pays every month for it. The problem is that there’s been times when he can’t pay it because his job doesn’t pay on time and he doesn’t have savings either because he doesn’t have control over his finances. So the first thing he does is ask me to pay for the monthly plan and that he’ll pay me back.
This makes me uncomfortable because even though he pays me back, i think he should be telling his sons to help him, as they are the ones that use the cellphone service and they’re old enough. Why do i have to pay for something that is not my responsibility? I’m not included in the plan. Only my boyfriend and his 3 sons.
It’s like he doesn’t want to bother his sons and wants to look good in front of them, but he doesn’t mind asking me to pay. He has done it several times.
The 22 year old son got his first phone at the age of 13 and my boyfriend has always pay for him. Isn’t it time for him to be a man and grow up??? I don’t know for how long my boyfriend is planning on supporting his sons but he keeps complaining that he’s broke and it’s because he doesn’t make his sons responsible for anything.
The 22 year old also spends his days sleeping and playing video games while my boyfriend works every day. I work too. But my boyfriend seems to be okay with his son not doing anything productive with his life. He has been unemployed for almost 8 months. Why does he feel bad asking his sons to help financially and to work like productive members of society? The young men don’t even pay for college because my boyfriend fully supports all 3 of them. Is this normal parenting? Should i be okay helping my boyfriend pay for the cellphone service?
My father paid for my cell phone bill throughout college. Honestly, I would have been happy to continue having him pay, but he'd sometimes be a day late on the bill and that interruption in service often came at terrible times as I was waiting for an interview for a job, etc. So I took some adult initiative and got my own line
Given that I don't think someone truly becomes an adult (yes, by the law, but not necessarily socially otherwise) at 18, I wouldn't have a problem paying beyond then.
The problem is that there’s been times when he can’t pay it because his job doesn’t pay on time and he doesn’t have savings either because he doesn’t have control over his finances.
OP, could you clarify these points? Why doesn't your boyfriend's job pay on time? And why doesn't he have control over his finances?
Honestly, though, the way you describe your boyfriend and his relationship with his sons, the issue of who pays for the phone service should be the least of your worries.
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