U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Covid-19 Information Page
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 06-24-2020, 12:43 PM
 
Location: Texas
12,842 posts, read 5,276,168 times
Reputation: 24874

Advertisements

You're right, but these days, many people do consider it child abuse. Even lately, putting a child in "time out" for a few minutes is considered abuse.

A lot of these molly coddled children will have to get a job some day and it's not going to be easy if they expect everyone to be nice to them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 06-24-2020, 02:24 PM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
24,849 posts, read 23,341,174 times
Reputation: 23492
Well my 17 year old grandson who lives with me cleaned my filthy stove (been meaning to do it for a couple weeks) without even being asked. I'm still looking for the pod.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-24-2020, 02:52 PM
 
7,893 posts, read 3,843,873 times
Reputation: 20786
Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post
The correlation there is weak. My parents spent a lot of time teaching me the value of doing chores---too much, I think---and my apartment is really messy. I only clear when I feel like it, when company is coming over (which was "not at all" in the last few months), or when it just gets too damn dirty.
Actually some folks choose to be defiant even in adulthood after learning a responsible skill. Sad really. Might want to examine that in your down time.

My mom from knee high had chores....blistered fingers and knees thru out her years from learning the old fashion scrubbing and waxing dern near everything.
By the time she married...she gave up on cleaning.
Us kids learned if we didn't clean it..it wasn't getting done. So I learned to polish the silverware, iron, and hang laundry. Which I still enjoy!

My grandkids each have to clean up their rooms . Put things away and sweep the porches. Which they love to do....they pretend they are a Disney princess...

Now by the time anyone goes thru the teens...it's often a battle of wills. No generation has skipped that fun rebellion....
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-24-2020, 04:42 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
14,495 posts, read 20,139,822 times
Reputation: 26044
Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post
The correlation there is weak. My parents spent a lot of time teaching me the value of doing chores---too much, I think---and my apartment is really messy. I only clear when I feel like it, when company is coming over (which was "not at all" in the last few months), or when it just gets too damn dirty.

No sorry not weak . You live what you learn but since you have left your parents house you choose not to clean . When you are an adult it is a choice . You can choose to live clean or you can choose to live nasty . I guess you have chosen the later which is totally fine for you .
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 04:15 AM
 
725 posts, read 646,692 times
Reputation: 1666
I hope so. Parents choose to bring children into this world. You should provide them with the happiest home possible and the best lifestyle you can reasonably afford. Children shouldn’t have to do anything other than be as happy as possible and abide by (hopefully) Christian traditional family values and morals. Children shouldn’t be forced to do any labor or activity they don’t care to do. Let kids be kids. They’ll have their own family one day to take care of and to do “chores” for.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 02:46 PM
 
1,472 posts, read 462,723 times
Reputation: 4004
Quote:
Originally Posted by john620 View Post
I hope so. Parents choose to bring children into this world. You should provide them with the happiest home possible and the best lifestyle you can reasonably afford. Children shouldn’t have to do anything other than be as happy as possible and abide by (hopefully) Christian traditional family values and morals. Children shouldn’t be forced to do any labor or activity they don’t care to do. Let kids be kids. They’ll have their own family one day to take care of and to do “chores” for.
Part of family values and morals is teaching children that the world does not revolve around them and their personal, constant happiness; that it's necessary for each family member to contribute to the proper functioning of the household as they are able and as is age and developmentally appropriate.

Too many adults underestimate the ability of children to help as working cog within the family unit from a very early age. Young children *want* to help, which is why it's crucial to harness that desire to assist adults from an early age. With older kids, it can be a bit of an uphill battle (especially if such tasks were unceremoniously dropped upon them rather than gradually ramping them up to doing chores from the time that they could toddle), but there are methods that work to get them to do their fair share that don't involve constant yelling, nagging (or beatings;-).

Kids are essentially "adults in training," which means that from the time that they're brought home from the hospital, parents should be preparing them for their eventual departure from the nest. A lot of that training isn't always pleasant for the child.

Your attitude towards family chores/participation is the same stance that's taken by parents who don't believe in talking/teaching about personal finance and money management. Those attitudes generally lead towards young adults who are essentially crippled when it comes to becoming fully functional adults. They also tend to make poor partners/spouses since "on the job" training is less than ideal when it comes to such things. It's like expecting a child to read when you've not bothered to teach them their ABCs since they'd rather have done something more engaging at the time that they should have been taught their letters.

Over the past few decades, this notion that children should be indulged and not encouraged to do anything around the house/yard/garage has lead to young adults who essentially feel lost once they leave home. Not gradually teaching a child how to run/manage a household is a parenting failure, in my opinion.

Last edited by Formerly Known As Twenty; Today at 03:24 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old Today, 02:49 PM
 
Location: NNJ
11,166 posts, read 6,287,809 times
Reputation: 12161
Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post
The correlation there is weak. My parents spent a lot of time teaching me the value of doing chores---too much, I think---and my apartment is really messy. I only clear when I feel like it, when company is coming over (which was "not at all" in the last few months), or when it just gets too damn dirty.
It might be the difference between demonstrating the routine of doing chores versus the value of doing chores.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top