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Old 05-21-2020, 03:00 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
19,703 posts, read 24,820,531 times
Reputation: 52383

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I was brought up to do chores. We set the table and cleared it. I had several siblings and we rotated on what days we loaded the dishwasher. My mother cooked.

On Saturdays, we cleaned our rooms. We all knew how to do the laundry. When I went away to college, I was totally shocked by how many friends had never done this. We had a housekeeper, a few times a week, but someone vacuumed every day, and it was not my mom.

We knew how to clean a bathroom, dust, and generally straighten up a room.

My kids were raised the same way.

What are your opinions? In no way do I think that this is child abuse. I think these are life skils a and part of being a family.
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Old 05-21-2020, 04:16 PM
 
1,327 posts, read 2,002,037 times
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I agree with you. My college kids have to pitch in when they're home too.
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Old 05-21-2020, 04:21 PM
 
12,442 posts, read 17,470,149 times
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Fashion? ever since a basic, real basic, education became "fashion"?

This always reminds me of Ron Habbards Battlefield Earth.
for those who read it, there is great ending. Main character, who just won a battle for his entire planet and could have literally nominated himself emperor of Earth, takes his son with him out into the wilderness of a forest, for time unspecified.

TO MAKE A REAL MAN OUT OF HIM. Not to GIVE him something, like vacant alien ship, for example. He takes him to the real hardship, real education, real life upbringing.



Fashion... gee....
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Old 05-21-2020, 07:20 PM
 
4,950 posts, read 2,149,867 times
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What may be out of 'fashion' are how some parents get their child to do chores, such as using threats, for example taking away a phone.
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Old 05-21-2020, 07:40 PM
 
14,288 posts, read 5,903,511 times
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Sheena, I'm interested in your post. Your mother cooked. And that was it? And you think that was normal? She had a housekeeper "a few times a week" who apparently did cleaning although it appears all of you were to keep the house clean and do everything else that needed to be done? Was your dad there?

Last edited by ClaraC; 05-21-2020 at 07:51 PM..
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Old 05-22-2020, 07:31 AM
 
Location: Ontario->NY->CT
25 posts, read 4,577 times
Reputation: 81
I wouldn't say they do an excessive amount of chores, mostly just pitching in with the day-to-day maintenance of dishes, taking out the trash, keeping the yard and common areas picked up. They have all been doing their own laundry since they were 9 or 10. I don't care how their rooms are kept, so long as there is no food or drink in there. Things like deep cleaning the rest of the house I do myself; all I ask is that their clutter is picked up so I can deep clean, or it will disappear.

I don't bother with chore charts, rewards, punishments, etc. Partly because I don't have the time or energy to enforce it, partly because natural consequences teach a much better lesson in this instance.
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Old 05-23-2020, 06:43 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
83,999 posts, read 77,061,275 times
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I"m curious about the "this isn't child abuse' comment. OP, is there something on your mind you'd like to discuss, beyond polling the members about whether their kids do chores? Have you encountered some opinions out there in the world, that seem extreme, regarding whether kids should do chores?

I did come across a very sad story, about a couple who adopted a child from Taiwan, and when he got old enough, made him do all the chores, everything. He was doing chores all weekend, every weekend: house, yard, washing the car, etc., and of course, washing dishes and so on, after school during the week. A concerned relative (of the parents) saw that the requirements were excessive (making the ulterior motive for the adoption obvious), and invited the child to move in with her. He politely declined, not wanting to provoke a feud between his parents and the kind relative. But when he reached 16, he ran away, and never returned. Managed to make quite a career for himself in California, and later, Asia.

I wish someone had shown me how to do useful homemaking skills, OP. I had to teach myself how to clean, dust, iron, cook, as a college student.

I'm curious why your home needed vacuuming daily, though.
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Old 05-23-2020, 06:48 PM
 
Location: southern california
58,421 posts, read 77,407,900 times
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Not out of fashion - child abuse
The redeeming feature of the pandemic s the golden opportunity to see why that teacher at school is whining about little darling behavior
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Old 05-23-2020, 09:17 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,380 posts, read 22,079,706 times
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My kids do chores. There are some things I can't do because of my health, and several days each month when I can't do anything because I'm recovering from a medical treatment I have to have each month. During those days, my kids cook dinner, feed the pets, clean the kitchen, etc. The rest of the month, they help me and we get the household tasks done together.

I don't give them an allowance for doing chores, because we all live in the house together and we all benefit from the house being clean and meals being cooked. I do buy them things to thank them, for example wireless headphones so they can listen to music while cleaning.
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Old 05-23-2020, 11:49 PM
 
Location: North Dakota
8,163 posts, read 9,822,540 times
Reputation: 12154
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
I was brought up to do chores. We set the table and cleared it. I had several siblings and we rotated on what days we loaded the dishwasher. My mother cooked.

On Saturdays, we cleaned our rooms. We all knew how to do the laundry. When I went away to college, I was totally shocked by how many friends had never done this. We had a housekeeper, a few times a week, but someone vacuumed every day, and it was not my mom.

We knew how to clean a bathroom, dust, and generally straighten up a room.

My kids were raised the same way.

What are your opinions? In no way do I think that this is child abuse. I think these are life skils a and part of being a family.
It's good to have chores but if you're really anal retentive about things the kids may end up resenting you. I think in general chores may be falling out of fashion because parents spend such a ridiculous amount of time ferrying their kids around to all of the activities they sign them up for.
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