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Old 06-05-2020, 04:12 PM
 
9 posts, read 3,856 times
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Lodestar wow this really helped thank you so much for reading my post everyone. I am so happy to see that im not alone.
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Old 06-05-2020, 04:15 PM
 
Location: Southern MN
7,480 posts, read 4,264,509 times
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I want to add to my post. I know that it's a backward way to teach a kid that you be good because if you don't something bad might happen to you. But that's a language these kids can understand.

I'm not talking about threatening them harm. More like Saibot's consequence - you will have to pay out of your allowance for Grandpa's Cheetos. Like that. Telling them you do the right thing because it makes you feel good about yourself doesn't work with them. They'd rather have the Cheetos. And that certainly makes sense. LOL.

They just have a different way of thinking. Use what works.
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Old 06-05-2020, 04:17 PM
 
14,830 posts, read 6,097,412 times
Reputation: 34215
Hmmm.

That bag of cheetos sat there for 6 days and no one touched it - it's not surprising she wanted it, and took it.

Are a lot of your food purchases for just one individual? I don't think we ever had food in my house when my kids were that age that was for "grandpa" and no one else, that sat there untouched for 6 days and was still considered to be grandpas, although he apparently didn't want it.
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Old 06-05-2020, 05:35 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
18,511 posts, read 19,325,786 times
Reputation: 46472
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
Hmmm.

That bag of cheetos sat there for 6 days and no one touched it - it's not surprising she wanted it, and took it.

Are a lot of your food purchases for just one individual?
I don't think we ever had food in my house when my kids were that age that was for "grandpa" and no one else, that sat there untouched for 6 days and was still considered to be grandpas, although he apparently didn't want it.
I agree.
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Old 06-05-2020, 06:18 PM
 
5,362 posts, read 4,704,585 times
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Without the other issue -stealing candy from teacher- you mentioned in the original post, I'd say it was just a "you need get grandfather a replacement bag with your own cash" thing.

But she lied when you asked & your husband caught her hiding them. I really have a problem with the lying to you & hiding things part. 8 years old is not 4. I'd sit her down and ask her about lying to you.
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Old 06-05-2020, 07:40 PM
 
Location: Dallas TX
15,572 posts, read 22,997,403 times
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When I was younger O stole gum. My dad made me go to the store, tell them what I did and pay them. I was mortified and never stole again. It was the best lesson my dad gave me.

I will also say when I was younger I had (actually still do) a hard time controlling myself eating certain foods. My mom would hide things from me, I would find them and binge eat.

It sounds as if there are two problems. Honesty and eating too much junk.
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Old 06-05-2020, 08:56 PM
 
7,615 posts, read 13,877,429 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
Hmmm.

That bag of cheetos sat there for 6 days and no one touched it - it's not surprising she wanted it, and took it.

Are a lot of your food purchases for just one individual? I don't think we ever had food in my house when my kids were that age that was for "grandpa" and no one else, that sat there untouched for 6 days and was still considered to be grandpas, although he apparently didn't want it.
It doesn't sound that unusual. When my dad was alive, he'd forget he had something, so it would sit there untouched for awhile. But even then, from when she was 4yo, my eldest knew she should ask first. It never hurts to ask. My dad a lot of times would be surprised that it was there but happily shared. Bugles was their thing, lol.
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Old 06-06-2020, 03:40 AM
 
5,746 posts, read 2,531,352 times
Reputation: 11160
Quote:
Originally Posted by Inkpoe View Post
It doesn't sound that unusual. When my dad was alive, he'd forget he had something, so it would sit there untouched for awhile. But even then, from when she was 4yo, my eldest knew she should ask first. It never hurts to ask. My dad a lot of times would be surprised that it was there but happily shared. Bugles was their thing, lol.
Same in my family. Usually we would ask before taking someone else’s snack. My sister had ice cream sandwiches and my dad has the piknik potato snacks and popcorn. No one liked the popcorn, but I would eat the pikniks and my mom and I would sometimes have the ice cream sandwiches.
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Old 06-06-2020, 07:18 AM
 
306 posts, read 74,858 times
Reputation: 545
First of all ae, relax. Give yourself credit for the good parenting skills you're showing by being concerned about the Cheetos Incident ; ) You have a new baby in the house and that alone can heighten stress and worry. Of course your daughter will repay Gramps for what she took without permission - I have a hard time calling it stealing at her age but I won't quibble about the wording.
Now for the part you might not like. In the family I grew up in and then in the family that I raised, food in the house was for everyone to enjoy in reasonable quantities, keeping others in the house in mind. That was taught to us (and then to my kids) at a young age. I distinctly remember when a box of Twinkies were brought into the house (a rare treat) my brothers and I all knew that we were allowed just one and for some reason we all adhered to that policy.
I understand that might not be practical in your situation but I'm putting the idea out there to see if it's something your family, including the grands, might consider. I'm not criticizing the way your family handles food, I'm just providing a different way of handling the sharing of food in the household. I never thought of it until just now as I'm writing this, but it was probably a way to teach portion control also without even realizing it.
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Old 06-06-2020, 07:28 AM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
7,065 posts, read 5,695,624 times
Reputation: 24320
We did the same as ^^, but it wasn't so much portion control as consideration for others. We never ate a whole bag of something, because we were told it was everyone's and we need to share. If you eat too much, then you aren't thinking of others. In a family with 5 kids as we had, sharing was a big deal, and money was pretty scarce, so that bag of chips might not be replaced until next payday, so share and be nice to your sibs or next time you get none. Mom was also really good on following through. If she said next time you get none, she meant it. We learned quickly how to share.
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