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Old 06-05-2020, 02:03 PM
 
9 posts, read 3,856 times
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So my child stole her grandpas cheetos.We went to sams and bought two family size bags. One for her and one for her granpa. She is a healthy child she is not overweight. We don't really allow her to eat junk food. Since the lockdown and school closures we have been more lenient. Maybe too much. We had an issue in school where she was pressured by her friend to steal their teachers candy. She was caught and her punishment was to sit alone in class for almost the whole month. It was also because she distracted her classmates. So back to the cheetos. Earlier we went to the store she grabbed a bag of cheetos then she said nvm ill get gum. Later the same day her grandmother asked if i had seen her husband bag of chips. I said no i figured it must ñf been misplaced. I did suspect my daughter but i gave her the benefit of the doubt. We asked her she said no it wasn't me i havent seen them. Okay i believed her. Then my husband passed by her room and she was hiding the bag of chips.We asked her why she did it she said she wanted chips. I was very upset and embarrassed because her grandmother was actually very upset over the chips. I did slap her hands for stealing. I had a very long conversation with her about honesty and dignity even as she was being scolded she didnt cry. I actually felt horrible she looked hurt but she held it in. Im not sure if what i did was right. We also just had a baby he is 6 months old im not sure if this has anything to do with her stealing. We find ourselves constantly having character concerns with her. Thank you for reading and im open for constructive criticism only.
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Old 06-05-2020, 02:13 PM
 
8,739 posts, read 5,313,638 times
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Some questions for clarification, because I'm not sure what was going on here:

You said you bought two large bags of Cheetohs, one for your daughter and one for her grandpa. Did you give her the bag you had bought for her or did you hide it away?

You also said when you were at the store, she picked up a bag of Cheetohs and then put it back and got something else. Why would she pick up a bag of Cheetohs to buy, if you had already bought her a family-sized bag?

It's just not clear whether she did already have a bag (which you had bought) or didn't have a bag (because she put it back on the shelf). Stealing is wrong either way, of course, but those would be two pretty different issues.
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Old 06-05-2020, 02:21 PM
 
Location: Avignon, France
8,739 posts, read 4,829,141 times
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I think Cheeto stealing is normal...Do you ever watch their commercials? People giving their family the third degree over who ate all the Cheetos. Maybe they should rename them... CHEATOS.
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Old 06-05-2020, 02:23 PM
 
9 posts, read 3,856 times
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Sorry about that we went to sams on friday of last week and she ate the whole thing of cheetos. Yesterday we went to safeway and she was picking a snack she decided on gum instead. Her grandpa had not opened his bag of cheetos the one we got at sams.
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Old 06-05-2020, 02:25 PM
 
9 posts, read 3,856 times
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I have and honestly they should lol
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Old 06-05-2020, 03:19 PM
 
13,488 posts, read 21,915,180 times
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I wouldn't make a huge deal out of it, but I would tell my daughter she needed to reach into her piggy bank to replace the bag, and make her grandfather a nice card in apology. Kids do impulsive things, but rarely is the intent to hurt others.
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Old 06-05-2020, 03:23 PM
 
8,739 posts, read 5,313,638 times
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Okay, she needs to pay Grandpa for the Cheetos she took, or (preferably) go buy him another bag. The correct lesson is not that if you steal something, your parents slap your hands, it's that if you steal something, you make restitution to the other party.

I'm making a huge assumption here, but it sounds like you maybe made junk food the "forbidden fruit" that she now tends to gorge on, when she does get some. Since she is only 8 years old, next time I would portion the family-size bag into smaller individual bags and let her have one every day until they are gone. Lesson here is appropriate portion size and moderation. No one person ever needs to eat an entire family-size bag of anything. Elderly grandpa gets a pass on that.
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Old 06-05-2020, 04:03 PM
 
9 posts, read 3,856 times
Reputation: 22
Saibot thank you for replying. I really learned something from your advice. I will definitely implement it. Idk why i did let her have the whole bag ....im kinda at a loss for that but it happened. So i will work on my parenting. This was actually my first post here and im glad i turned for advice Thank You
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Old 06-05-2020, 04:08 PM
 
Location: Southern MN
7,480 posts, read 4,264,509 times
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Some children are less aware of social values than others. When I noticed some antisocial behavior in my young son I taught him about what a conscience was. In a sense I "created " one for him.

I told him that it was a little voice inside of him that would speak up when he was getting ready to do something that was wrong. It was a warning to him that something he didn't like might happen to him if he did it so it was a good voice trying to help him.

It might be his voice or my voice or a teacher's voice. It didn't matter but it was a helper.

Then we talked about that each day for some weeks and I encouraged him to tell me whenever he heard the voice and what he did next. And we talked about avoiding consequences. We focused a lot on consequences and I tried to make sure that there was always a consequence when he knew he had done wrong.

Most children have enough of an imagination to picture this useful metaphor and it can even be fun for them.

Even today my son does not have a strong conscience in his adult life. He just wasn't given that gift. But he very clearly understands that behavior has consequences and that he wants to avoid them. I just really made that connection over and over again because that's a missing piece for some kids. Especially if you let some things slide. You need to be consistent with these kids.

Good luck. We had some tough times bringing this lesson home but he came through them a responsible adult and I know I helped.

Last edited by Lodestar; 06-05-2020 at 04:16 PM..
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Old 06-05-2020, 04:08 PM
 
9 posts, read 3,856 times
Reputation: 22
Mattie Thank you yes she really will compensate her grandfather!
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