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My kid is 13. Every time I casually ask him "what do you want to do when you grow up?", the answer is always something like "I don't know". I don't know if 13 is still too young to have even some idea.
I am eager to help him avoid the career mistakes I made. He can choose something that suits his interest, but on that line I hope to ensure it is something that would be more rewarding -- more job satisfaction, more financially rewarding, higher social status, etc.
For example, if he says he loves to cook, then instead of flipping burgers at fast food joints, I may encourage him to go to culinary school and be a top chef.
But privately I do have a few potential professions in each of those categories, that I hope to direct him to, because I think everyone invariably seek some or all of those things.
Whether you communicate it or not, do you have any aspirations for your kids?
Don't pick your child's career for him. They will grow up to resent you. No one needs to have any idea what they are going to do when they are 13.
I agree with you that a parent definitely should not "pick their child's career". However, I feel that many young teenagers may have a general idea of their future career goals. And a parent can help foster those asperations. As an example, if a teen is interested in a future "helping profession" a parent can encourage them to volunteer at different organizations. If they are interested in science or math there are many "college for kids" enrichment activities. If they are interested in music a parent can sign them up for music lessons.
As parents, Hubby and I just wanted our children to be happy, productive citizens that lived up to their full potential as adults. And, they are.
And, some kids have a very strong preference in careers from a young age. My grand-niece just graduated from medical school yesterday. She had been talking about becoming a doctor probably from first grade. Another relative loved science from a very young age and now has a Ph.D. in microbiology. His sister was always a "helper" and embraced a "world wide view" since kindergarten. After serving in the Peace Corp (in a third world country) she became a teacher in a foreign country at a school with a very high recent immigrant population. Of course, their parents encouraged their education and growth in these areas.
Last edited by germaine2626; 05-23-2020 at 12:38 PM..
My kid is 13. Every time I casually ask him "what do you want to do when you grow up?", the answer is always something like "I don't know". I don't know if 13 is still too young to have even some idea.
I am eager to help him avoid the career mistakes I made. He can choose something that suits his interest, but on that line I hope to ensure it is something that would be more rewarding -- more job satisfaction, more financially rewarding, higher social status, etc.
For example, if he says he loves to cook, then instead of flipping burgers at fast food joints, I may encourage him to go to culinary school and be a top chef.
But privately I do have a few potential professions in each of those categories, that I hope to direct him to, because I think everyone invariably seek some or all of those things.
Whether you communicate it or not, do you have any aspirations for your kids?
Avoid the bold ^^^.
The best way to help him understand what career options are out there is to take him to lots of places and expose him to lots of different things, and ask questions in general about what he thinks about stuff, how it's done, etc.
Be wary of automatically ratcheting any musings he has about jobs to make it sound like he needs to go to the top of the heap, like with the chef/burger example. Right now, at 13, his main goal should be to learn about and be exposed to as much a s possible.
Besides, there may be careers available in 10 years that don't even exist now.
Avoid the bold ^^^.
The best way to help him understand what career options are out there is to take him to lots of places and expose him to lots of different things, and ask questions in general about what he thinks about stuff, how it's done, etc.
Be wary of automatically ratcheting any musings he has about jobs to make it sound like he needs to go to the top of the heap, like with the chef/burger example. Right now, at 13, his main goal should be to learn about and be exposed to as much a s possible.
Besides, there may be careers available in 10 years that don't even exist now.
Well said.
IMHO, some adults would be happier flipping burgers than being a top chef. Don't make your child think that you would not be proud of him if he doesn't make a lot of money in top career.
Did I have career aspirations for our kids? No, absolutely not in the way you're thinking. First, I recognize that very few people stay in the same career for decades any longer. There are some professional exceptions. I'm on my third career by choice. We wanted them both to have a career that challenged them, was interesting to them, and brought them pleasure. Money and financial success wasn't part of the hope for them.
We generally knew the general direction one of our children would take. The other was up in the air. She began college as a Spanish and English major and decided her first year to switch to a computer science related major. One class in that area and she found her thing. She continued her Spanish studies btw. It helped her land her first job. The company had a client in Mexico.
Don't pick your child's career for him. They will grow up to resent you. No one needs to have any idea what they are going to do when they are 13.
+1. At 13 our 3 boys were positive pro sports were in their futures. We supported their dreams, but we didn't feed them. Supported = paid for travel ball, coaching, equipment, etc. Feeding = telling them they were the best there ever was, and practice would pay off more than schooling.
Needless to say, not one of them pursued sports past the high school years. And their goals evolved through their college years. If your child has a lasting passion(and ability) they will find a way to make it a career. Be patient while they take some time to be kids and they'll figure it out on their own.
My kid is 13. Every time I casually ask him "what do you want to do when you grow up?", the answer is always something like "I don't know". I don't know if 13 is still too young to have even some idea.
I am eager to help him avoid the career mistakes I made. He can choose something that suits his interest, but on that line I hope to ensure it is something that would be more rewarding -- more job satisfaction, more financially rewarding, higher social status, etc.
For example, if he says he loves to cook, then instead of flipping burgers at fast food joints, I may encourage him to go to culinary school and be a top chef.
But privately I do have a few potential professions in each of those categories, that I hope to direct him to, because I think everyone invariably seek some or all of those things.
Whether you communicate it or not, do you have any aspirations for your kids?
omg, you are going about this bassackwards. Now is the time to help him explore his interests whether they seem career related to you or not. Skills such as hard work ,persistence, dedication to a goal are all things he can learn in any number activities that will lead him to success as an adult.
Celebrate his progress in his chosen hobbies no matter how trite or mediocre they seem, and you will cultivate his confidence in his ability to explore the world.
People rarely wind up doing what they wanted to do at 13. I wanted to be a lawyer from the age of 13 on. After completing my first year of law school I decided I didn't want to be a lawyer at all and didn't go back for my second year in the fall. People don't really understand what a career entails until they get close enough to experience it. A friend of my son was a very gifted guitarist. At 16 he could have played professionally. Instead he went to college and decided on a career in journalism. I held many jobs in my 20's and 30's. I was married with kids and needed to pay the bills. In my early 40's I got a chance to work with computers that didn't even exist when I was in college and that became my career until I retired.
I never got any vocation advice from my parents other than to finish college which I did. None of my three children followed any of my career advice. They all made their own way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RobertFisher
My kid is 13. Every time I casually ask him "what do you want to do when you grow up?", the answer is always something like "I don't know". I don't know if 13 is still too young to have even some idea.
I am eager to help him avoid the career mistakes I made. He can choose something that suits his interest, but on that line I hope to ensure it is something that would be more rewarding -- more job satisfaction, more financially rewarding, higher social status, etc.
For example, if he says he loves to cook, then instead of flipping burgers at fast food joints, I may encourage him to go to culinary school and be a top chef.
But privately I do have a few potential professions in each of those categories, that I hope to direct him to, because I think everyone invariably seek some or all of those things.
Whether you communicate it or not, do you have any aspirations for your kids?
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