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Old 06-15-2020, 06:59 AM
 
Location: DFW/Texas
848 posts, read 791,803 times
Reputation: 3112

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Holy smokes, 42K for HIGH SCHOOL? Seriously? Your wife is actually willing to spend nearly a half million dollars so your son can learn chemistry and how to write a proper essay? Really?

Well, hey, to each his/her own, right?

I went to a large public high school and turned out fine. Where we were in So Cal, it was a well-known fact that the private schools around the area (4 main ones) were the ones that had the best drugs and the most daring kids. Simply put, their parents had more money so the kids usually had more money and they bought the better drugs and got away with the worst behaviors. That seems to be a trend that spans across many areas, as I've talked to other people from all over the country who have experienced the same type of things with private schools. I'm not saying that the private school you're family is considering is like that but it is something to consider.

A public school with a 90 percentile rating is nothing to sneeze at, OP. Do you really believe that your son's life is going to be that much better by spending that kind of money? It sounds like you're one of those people who want a guarantee to justify spending that kind of money (I am the same way) but in this instance most of it relies upon your son and his desire to achieve.

I'd vote for public school and taking that money and using it to have experiences as a family. Trips, lessons, etc., will expose your kids to things they may not have as readily because your money is tied up in tuition. Also, teach your son practical things, too, such as how to cook, clean, do laundry, change a tire, change the oil in a car, basic household maintenance. Raising a kid isn't and shouldn't be all about academics. Even if he won't actively use those skills, it's better to have them than not have them.
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Old 06-15-2020, 07:47 AM
 
Location: Midwest
4,873 posts, read 7,641,177 times
Reputation: 8899
Quote:
Originally Posted by RobertFisher View Post
The alternative is a CA public high school that ranks in the 90 percentile.

No doubt, private high school will deliver a more rigorous curriculum. I am wondering if the difference justifies the spending.
It depends more on if the school actually TEACHES and the student will acquire knowledge vs. political indoctrination and come out of there thinking America is the worst place in the world.

The other it depends is, are the kids taught how to think, and given intellectual challenges? As opposed to as mentioned above.

And the other other it depends is, if you're flush with bucks and that 42 grand will buy your child a good education, then yeah. Just don't send him to Harvard and get all that useful education washed out in the brainwashing factory.
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Old 06-15-2020, 09:45 AM
 
Location: Redwood Shores, CA
702 posts, read 252,442 times
Reputation: 769
Quote:
Originally Posted by Berrie143 View Post
Holy smokes, 42K for HIGH SCHOOL? Seriously? Your wife is actually willing to spend nearly a half million dollars so your son can learn chemistry and how to write a proper essay? Really?

1/2 mil is for K1-12 combined. But yes, wife wants it, and it looks like it's inching that way.

Had the first serious discussion. Wife said "I leave it to you", but made it as if the son's life is being short changed if I don't support going to private school. Tears were shed. Kind of hard to have a frank discussion on the material pros and cons of the options and harder to say no.
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Old 06-15-2020, 10:02 AM
 
Location: interior Alaska
5,059 posts, read 3,746,679 times
Reputation: 15977
Jesus, I feel bad for this kid.
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Old 06-15-2020, 10:37 AM
 
Location: Formerly Pleasanton Ca, now in Marietta Ga
7,111 posts, read 4,969,138 times
Reputation: 9790
In my opinion that private school is nuts. You already have public school in the 90%.
Let’s take that money and invest it.
For the 8 years of high school and college assuming 45k a year in the market at age 21 the kid would have 630,612 in the market.
If you never add to this by age 41 he could retire with 3.5 million with an income of over 250k a year. Set for life.
If you add 15k a year to it by age 37 he has over 2.9 million. Again set for life.
In these times financial stability is very important.
What good is that schooling going to get him. A high paying stressful life. Laid off in 10 years?

If the goal is security for your child instead of bragging rights on where they got their education, I would go for security. The world keeps changing too much to not be in a good position ASAP.
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Old 06-15-2020, 11:03 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
48,905 posts, read 47,181,009 times
Reputation: 95818
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frostnip View Post
Jesus, I feel bad for this kid.
I know. OP, put some money aside for therapy while you can.
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Old 06-15-2020, 11:07 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
48,905 posts, read 47,181,009 times
Reputation: 95818
Quote:
Originally Posted by RobertFisher View Post
'

Tears were shed. Kind of hard to have a frank discussion on the material pros and cons of the options and harder to say no.
That's a marriage issue, not an education issue.

Have you visited the schools in question?
Met with the counselor to compare the curricula side by side?
Had your son shadow at each school?

He needs to be the majority decision maker here, without the influence of your guilt. It doesn't sound like you two have enough factual information to be talking about this anyway. Your son can shadow a student for a school day (or half a day) at each school so he can get a feel for what it's like. My older boys did that, and while they liked the private school atmosphere and the people there, they felt like the student body was too small and felt even better about the public school we were zoned for.

Get some facts so that your wife's tears won't be driving the decisions about your son's future.
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Old 06-15-2020, 12:48 PM
 
Location: Over yonder a piece
3,996 posts, read 5,020,835 times
Reputation: 6374
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grlzrl View Post
So all private schools are bad because you had a bad experience?
That's not what I said. What I was saying is that not all private schools are equal. Just because you pay more for it doesn't mean the education is always better. I didn't say all private schools are bad.
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Old 06-15-2020, 02:08 PM
 
Location: Canada
9,609 posts, read 9,014,921 times
Reputation: 21272
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
That's a marriage issue, not an education issue.

Have you visited the schools in question?
Met with the counselor to compare the curricula side by side?
Had your son shadow at each school?

He needs to be the majority decision maker here, without the influence of your guilt. It doesn't sound like you two have enough factual information to be talking about this anyway. Your son can shadow a student for a school day (or half a day) at each school so he can get a feel for what it's like. My older boys did that, and while they liked the private school atmosphere and the people there, they felt like the student body was too small and felt even better about the public school we were zoned for.

Get some facts so that your wife's tears won't be driving the decisions about your son's future.
Always great advice, especially that last line.


.
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Old 06-15-2020, 06:31 PM
 
2,967 posts, read 1,312,614 times
Reputation: 5917
I am just amazed that someone has 421k in their savings account. Wow.
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