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Old 06-17-2020, 07:32 PM
 
2,564 posts, read 944,588 times
Reputation: 6570

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She’s a adult and needs a job. Stop allowing her to act like a spoiled child. I would give her a 60 day notice.
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Old 06-17-2020, 07:45 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
48,754 posts, read 47,054,962 times
Reputation: 95483
Quote:
Originally Posted by allaboard19 View Post
Not sure
I am courteous with relatives, strangers, acquaintances or even a business who ripped me off.
My health and credit have always been excellent. I spoke with her about how important credit history is and personal finance.
Everyone can be passionate and argue without disrespecting the other with expletives bu that's today's toxic social media including videos people see online. Wow, and just 2 weeks ago she told me TV violence is dehumanizing people.
You completely missed Jen's point about shirking responsibility.

You keep posting details about her personal political views that really don't matter in the face of her blatant sense of entitlement and lack of respect for ALL others, and you keep offering excuse after excuse of what a supposedly great job you did with her, without acknowledging the obvious deficits in your parenting.

Either she's mentally ill, or you dropped the ball along the way.
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Old 06-17-2020, 07:59 PM
 
12 posts, read 1,382 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
You completely missed Jen's point about shirking responsibility.

You keep posting details about her personal political views that really don't matter in the face of her blatant sense of entitlement and lack of respect for ALL others, and you keep offering excuse after excuse of what a supposedly great job you did with her, without acknowledging the obvious deficits in your parenting.

Either she's mentally ill, or you dropped the ball along the way.
Let's say there were no deficits in parenting. Do all kids turn out to be perfect?

There's thousands of example of kids with deficits in parenting who turned out fine.

From what you read what are the obvious deficits?
taking a trip back to the US for work?
The work trips did not start actually until 2009-2011. Trips for 45-60 days and not every year. She was age 8-10. 2012 much longer due to physical therapy, disc nerve damage, unexplained skin rash, and still suffering today.

Parents who are celebrities, politicians, sports athletes, military, and regular people all take months 30 days up to 2 years away and their kids don't turn out this way. They understand dad or mom is away on work trip unless one parent is cementing negative things into the child that are untrue. Her mom did that a few times.

Last edited by allaboard19; 06-17-2020 at 08:26 PM..
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Old 06-17-2020, 08:01 PM
Status: "Happy Juneteenth!" (set 11 hours ago)
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
19,782 posts, read 24,949,648 times
Reputation: 52693
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
What a cop-out.

You're still her father, regardless of whose place she's in.
THIS^^^^^!!! It does not excuse you!
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Old 06-17-2020, 08:34 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
48,754 posts, read 47,054,962 times
Reputation: 95483
Quote:
Originally Posted by allaboard19 View Post


Parents who are celebrities, politicians, sports athletes, military, and regular people all take months 30 days up to 2 years away and their kids don't turn out this way. They understand dad or mom is away on work trip unless one parent is cementing negative things into the child that are untrue. Her mom did that a few times.
None of that is relevant to your situation.

You describe your family as if you are a houseguest merely observing the situation.

You cannot blame her mother for everything.
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Old 06-17-2020, 09:14 PM
 
5,208 posts, read 4,510,024 times
Reputation: 15097
Oppositional defiant disorder, combined with ineffective parenting. 53 years ago she'd have been telling you that you were squares, and materialistic. She is simply mouthing the party line of teens and young, failure-to-launchers of today. She needs to get a full time job and move out. But since she doesn't live with you, you really don't have any say in the matter. Pray that she doesn't get pregnant. Urge mom to get her implanted with a long term contraceptive.
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Old 06-17-2020, 09:47 PM
 
Location: Somewhere extremely awesome
3,104 posts, read 2,617,242 times
Reputation: 2385
Quote:
Originally Posted by allaboard19 View Post
Daughter has always had a temperature issue. It was thought of as just part South American blood and being spoiled. While I was away in the states sometimes, daughter would be mean to her grandmother and I would be called to talk with her to obey her grandmom. Then a year or so later I called her to obey her mom.
As a HS teen in the states, she yelled at a vietnam veteran disagreeing with him vehemently about war per her mom. I told her you shouldn't be telling an older man what was wrong with the war if you were not part of that period or the issues back in those days.
- In HS meets the wrong group of people, starts hanging out with them. They think college is not for them due to the costs. She never went to HS sports games or events or had a good set of friends that were on the right track,. She despised those types and called them part of the system of slaves.
she is anti-religion, anti-police, anti-military, and anti meat eaters and calls you a murderer if you eat animal flesh. She now claims she gets sick from the smell of meat.

Fast fwd to last week, I am watching an old show about Miami ad she is making some food. Fathers says to her, "Miami used to be like Detroit and Chicago in the mid 80s but the police turned that city around. " She says, "sure. they should be defunded because the system is bad" Then father says, "defund? They
should be funded more for the stress they go through. There will be far more murders and domestic violence and abuse than you think. You really can't believe that all police are bad can you?"
In an extremely irked and snarky condescending tone she said .. yeah sure. I said, well I am still going to support them because I have had no issues with them and she's met a reserve cop friend of mine who's main job was with the city fire dept.

Then she stormed into her room. Father then said, "we are still going to eat meat" (her mom & family loves all types of meat). Still support the military (father was in the military). and still believe in god." Her mom is is guided by Jesus daily and got me back deeper into faith a few years ago.
Daughter had almost closed the door but then lashed back with . Oh yeah, "go ahead and be ____ murderer. You're a ___ old man. You're also a ___ failure. I wish I was artificially inseminated and never was born from your sperm."
All those blanks were f-bombs to a parent!!! Her mom was there too and looked at her incredulously. I was shocked and very disappointed. I was at fault for bringing up a sensitive topic about meat, which instigated this situation but who reacts this way to a parent???
I said she needs to move back out with that kind of mouth. She was kicked out a year earlier and moved to another state.

Her behavior has simply gotten worse with calling her mom stupid and a slave to the system. I had very little communication with her for the last year since she was sneaking as a 17yr old out the window to see a known drug user 23 yr old whom she lied about. I found out his brother was arrested six time for drugs. She's actually lied about a lot of things. It's compulsive and sadly there's more. I think about a friend why he never had kids and this is why. You raise them the best you can and invest into college funds, buy them a car, for their future and they try to destroy yours with stress and no appreciation and a lack of tolerance. To me it is ideology over your own parents. whatever they read on the internet is factual or if it comes from someone with a title that has perceived importance.
I'm just going to say, that from this description and your subsequent posts, I feel sorry for your daughter.
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Old 06-18-2020, 03:56 AM
 
Location: NJ
13,368 posts, read 23,022,130 times
Reputation: 12329
Quote:
Originally Posted by parentologist View Post
Oppositional defiant disorder, combined with ineffective parenting. 53 years ago she'd have been telling you that you were squares, and materialistic. She is simply mouthing the party line of teens and young, failure-to-launchers of today. She needs to get a full time job and move out. But since she doesn't live with you, you really don't have any say in the matter.
Add genetics to it too. Back when I was a teen they were called headstrong. Hopefully she grows out of some of it, but possible she won't change much.

My daughter was diagnosed ODD back in the 90's. She and my son are total opposites but they were pretty much raised the same.

My daughter is almost a carbon copy of my ex's sister. I don't know how my MIL dealt with her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by parentologist View Post
Pray that she doesn't get pregnant. Urge mom to get her implanted with a long term contraceptive.
Agree, do it ASAP. Last thing you need is a baby with nowhere to go.
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Old 06-18-2020, 05:26 AM
 
Location: Southern NC
2,039 posts, read 4,502,399 times
Reputation: 2868
Quote:
Originally Posted by antinimby View Post
Yes and it’s called brainwashed by liberal ideology. Most of the youths in this country has undergone that “liberal programming.”
Oh please.
I think this is also along the lines of you not being able to stick to a topic without a political outburst.
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Old 06-18-2020, 07:35 AM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
7,065 posts, read 5,695,624 times
Reputation: 24320
I see absolutely nothing that indicates mental illness in the OP's posts. She is acting like an entitled brat. She's way too old for this disrespectful nonsense. Time to reclaim parental authority over your (or your wife's?) home. She needs to show respect at all times or move out.
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