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Old 06-17-2020, 07:09 AM
 
12 posts, read 1,382 times
Reputation: 20

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Daughter has always had a temperature issue. It was thought of as just part South American blood and being spoiled. While I was away in the states sometimes, daughter would be mean to her grandmother and I would be called to talk with her to obey her grandmom. Then a year or so later I called her to obey her mom.
As a HS teen in the states, she yelled at a vietnam veteran disagreeing with him vehemently about war per her mom. I told her you shouldn't be telling an older man what was wrong with the war if you were not part of that period or the issues back in those days.
- In HS meets the wrong group of people, starts hanging out with them. They think college is not for them due to the costs. She never went to HS sports games or events or had a good set of friends that were on the right track,. She despised those types and called them part of the system of slaves.
she is anti-religion, anti-police, anti-military, and anti meat eaters and calls you a murderer if you eat animal flesh. She now claims she gets sick from the smell of meat.

Fast fwd to last week, I am watching an old show about Miami ad she is making some food. Fathers says to her, "Miami used to be like Detroit and Chicago in the mid 80s but the police turned that city around. " She says, "sure. they should be defunded because the system is bad" Then father says, "defund? They
should be funded more for the stress they go through. There will be far more murders and domestic violence and abuse than you think. You really can't believe that all police are bad can you?"
In an extremely irked and snarky condescending tone she said .. yeah sure. I said, well I am still going to support them because I have had no issues with them and she's met a reserve cop friend of mine who's main job was with the city fire dept.

Then she stormed into her room. Father then said, "we are still going to eat meat" (her mom & family loves all types of meat). Still support the military (father was in the military). and still believe in god." Her mom is is guided by Jesus daily and got me back deeper into faith a few years ago.
Daughter had almost closed the door but then lashed back with . Oh yeah, "go ahead and be ____ murderer. You're a ___ old man. You're also a ___ failure. I wish I was artificially inseminated and never was born from your sperm."
All those blanks were f-bombs to a parent!!! Her mom was there too and looked at her incredulously. I was shocked and very disappointed. I was at fault for bringing up a sensitive topic about meat, which instigated this situation but who reacts this way to a parent???
I said she needs to move back out with that kind of mouth. She was kicked out a year earlier and moved to another state.

Her behavior has simply gotten worse with calling her mom stupid and a slave to the system. I had very little communication with her for the last year since she was sneaking as a 17yr old out the window to see a known drug user 23 yr old whom she lied about. I found out his brother was arrested six time for drugs. She's actually lied about a lot of things. It's compulsive and sadly there's more. I think about a friend why he never had kids and this is why. You raise them the best you can and invest into college funds, buy them a car, for their future and they try to destroy yours with stress and no appreciation and a lack of tolerance. To me it is ideology over your own parents. whatever they read on the internet is factual or if it comes from someone with a title that has perceived importance.
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Old 06-17-2020, 07:50 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
48,754 posts, read 47,054,962 times
Reputation: 95483
Quote:
Originally Posted by allaboard19 View Post

Daughter has always had a temperature issue. It was thought of as just part South American blood and being spoiled. While I was away in the states sometimes, daughter would be mean to her grandmother and I would be called to talk with her to obey her grandmom. Then a year or so later I called her to obey her mom.
As a HS teen in the states, she yelled at a vietnam veteran disagreeing with him vehemently about war per her mom. I told her you shouldn't be telling an older man what was wrong with the war if you were not part of that period or the issues back in those days.
- In HS meets the wrong group of people, starts hanging out with them. They think college is not for them due to the costs. She never went to HS sports games or events or had a good set of friends that were on the right track,. She despised those types and called them part of the system of slaves.
she is anti-religion, anti-police, anti-military, and anti meat eaters and calls you a murderer if you eat animal flesh. She now claims she gets sick from the smell of meat.

Fast fwd to last week, I am watching an old show about Miami ad she is making some food. Fathers says to her, "Miami used to be like Detroit and Chicago in the mid 80s but the police turned that city around. " She says, "sure. they should be defunded because the system is bad" Then father says, "defund? They
should be funded more for the stress they go through. There will be far more murders and domestic violence and abuse than you think. You really can't believe that all police are bad can you?"
In an extremely irked and snarky condescending tone she said .. yeah sure. I said, well I am still going to support them because I have had no issues with them and she's met a reserve cop friend of mine who's main job was with the city fire dept.

Then she stormed into her room. Father then said, "we are still going to eat meat" (her mom & family loves all types of meat). Still support the military (father was in the military). and still believe in god." Her mom is is guided by Jesus daily and got me back deeper into faith a few years ago.
Daughter had almost closed the door but then lashed back with . Oh yeah, "go ahead and be ____ murderer. You're a ___ old man. You're also a ___ failure. I wish I was artificially inseminated and never was born from your sperm."
All those blanks were f-bombs to a parent!!! Her mom was there too and looked at her incredulously. I was shocked and very disappointed. I was at fault for bringing up a sensitive topic about meat, which instigated this situation but who reacts this way to a parent???
I said she needs to move back out with that kind of mouth. She was kicked out a year earlier and moved to another state.

Her behavior has simply gotten worse with calling her mom stupid and a slave to the system. I had very little communication with her for the last year since she was sneaking as a 17yr old out the window to see a known drug user 23 yr old whom she lied about. I found out his brother was arrested six time for drugs. She's actually lied about a lot of things. It's compulsive and sadly there's more. I think about a friend why he never had kids and this is why. You raise them the best you can and invest into college funds, buy them a car, for their future and they try to destroy yours with stress and no appreciation and a lack of tolerance. To me it is ideology over your own parents. whatever they read on the internet is factual or if it comes from someone with a title that has perceived importance.
Quote:
Originally Posted by allaboard19 View Post

You raise them the best you can and invest into college funds, buy them a car, for their future and they try to destroy yours with stress and no appreciation and a lack of tolerance. To me it is ideology over your own parents.
Do you really believe you did the best you could??

She sounds like a complete nightmare indulged person who can't even be out in public without getting into confrontations with strangers.

Buying her a car isn't going to compensate for being absent and uninvolved for much of her childhood.
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Old 06-17-2020, 07:56 AM
 
1,895 posts, read 2,358,546 times
Reputation: 2957
Welcome to City-Data
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Old 06-17-2020, 07:59 AM
 
Location: Southern NC
2,039 posts, read 4,502,399 times
Reputation: 2868
I agree she should be living independently.
She's 19 now. She should start learning how to navigate society and face the consequences of her outbursts. I also think it's a good idea to keep certain topics out of your relationship with her, if you want to continue the relationship in the future.
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Old 06-17-2020, 08:01 AM
 
14,830 posts, read 6,089,090 times
Reputation: 34215
I'll wait to compose a thoughtful post when the OP returns to check on this thread.
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Old 06-17-2020, 08:09 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ > Raleigh, NC
16,062 posts, read 20,788,749 times
Reputation: 26497
These kinds of outbursts are often early symptoms of serious mental illness.
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Old 06-17-2020, 08:25 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
7,526 posts, read 3,810,693 times
Reputation: 9315
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jkgourmet View Post
These kinds of outbursts are often early symptoms of serious mental illness.
Yes and it’s called brainwashed by liberal ideology. Most of the youths in this country has undergone that “liberal programming.”
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Old 06-17-2020, 10:21 AM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
7,065 posts, read 5,695,624 times
Reputation: 24320
I'm confused. OP are you the father, the mother, a sibling? Or some other relative? You keep referring to father and mother in the third person.

She's old enough to be out on her own. Her parents should give her a 60 day notice, 30 days to find a job, and another 30 to save the money to move out on her own. Along the way they should be reminding her every few days that she is moving out on xx/xx/2020. And then hold her to it. She's an adult who's disrespectful to the person putting a roof over her head, so she no longer is eligible to live under that roof.

It's perfectly normal for 13 or 14 year olds to behave as you describe, when they are detaching and going through the hormonal crazies of puberty, but at 19 time for that nonsense is over. Time for her to get a job and live in the real world and learn about all the real world problems and real world compromises that we all have to make on a daily basis.
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Old 06-17-2020, 10:36 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ > Raleigh, NC
16,062 posts, read 20,788,749 times
Reputation: 26497
Quote:
Originally Posted by antinimby View Post
Yes and it’s called brainwashed by liberal ideology. Most of the youths in this country has undergone that “liberal programming.”
While I agree with your basic idea, that is most definitely NOT what I was talking about.

Your comment is one more example of how the public REALLY misunderstands the complexity and seriousness of mental illness.
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Old 06-17-2020, 03:23 PM
 
Location: Midwest
4,845 posts, read 7,626,839 times
Reputation: 8860
Quote:
Originally Posted by allaboard19 View Post
Daughter has always had a temperature issue. It was thought of as just part South American blood and being spoiled. While I was away in the states sometimes, daughter would be mean to her grandmother and I would be called to talk with her to obey her grandmom. Then a year or so later I called her to obey her mom.
As a HS teen in the states, she yelled at a vietnam veteran disagreeing with him vehemently about war per her mom. I told her you shouldn't be telling an older man what was wrong with the war if you were not part of that period or the issues back in those days.
- In HS meets the wrong group of people, starts hanging out with them. They think college is not for them due to the costs. She never went to HS sports games or events or had a good set of friends that were on the right track,. She despised those types and called them part of the system of slaves.
she is anti-religion, anti-police, anti-military, and anti meat eaters and calls you a murderer if you eat animal flesh. She now claims she gets sick from the smell of meat.

Fast fwd to last week, I am watching an old show about Miami ad she is making some food. Fathers says to her, "Miami used to be like Detroit and Chicago in the mid 80s but the police turned that city around. " She says, "sure. they should be defunded because the system is bad" Then father says, "defund? They
should be funded more for the stress they go through. There will be far more murders and domestic violence and abuse than you think. You really can't believe that all police are bad can you?"
In an extremely irked and snarky condescending tone she said .. yeah sure. I said, well I am still going to support them because I have had no issues with them and she's met a reserve cop friend of mine who's main job was with the city fire dept.

Then she stormed into her room. Father then said, "we are still going to eat meat" (her mom & family loves all types of meat). Still support the military (father was in the military). and still believe in god." Her mom is is guided by Jesus daily and got me back deeper into faith a few years ago.
Daughter had almost closed the door but then lashed back with . Oh yeah, "go ahead and be ____ murderer. You're a ___ old man. You're also a ___ failure. I wish I was artificially inseminated and never was born from your sperm."
All those blanks were f-bombs to a parent!!! Her mom was there too and looked at her incredulously. I was shocked and very disappointed. I was at fault for bringing up a sensitive topic about meat, which instigated this situation but who reacts this way to a parent???
I said she needs to move back out with that kind of mouth. She was kicked out a year earlier and moved to another state.

Her behavior has simply gotten worse with calling her mom stupid and a slave to the system. I had very little communication with her for the last year since she was sneaking as a 17yr old out the window to see a known drug user 23 yr old whom she lied about. I found out his brother was arrested six time for drugs. She's actually lied about a lot of things. It's compulsive and sadly there's more. I think about a friend why he never had kids and this is why. You raise them the best you can and invest into college funds, buy them a car, for their future and they try to destroy yours with stress and no appreciation and a lack of tolerance. To me it is ideology over your own parents. whatever they read on the internet is factual or if it comes from someone with a title that has perceived importance.
The utter disrespect w/F-bombs would have motivated me to sign her eviction notice. She's on a bad track associating with bad people. She can F-Bomb them all day if she wants, but I'd have given her her marching orders since she's obviously full of hate for her family. Bye bye! And don't let the door hit you.
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