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Old 06-19-2020, 03:55 PM
 
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Does anyone have any good insight or resources to help teens coping with the anxiety and depression when social media friends delete, cancel, or give the silent treatment?

Of course, the best course of action/inaction is to stay off of social media. That's not going to happen with many teens. It's hurtful to have an argument with a "friend" and then discover that you've been unfriended/unfollowed. I'm just needing some feedback and insight to help teens gain a healthy perspective on this type of behavior.

I appreciate any responses.
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Old 06-19-2020, 05:02 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
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Quote:
Originally Posted by winterbird View Post
Does anyone have any good insight or resources to help teens coping with the anxiety and depression when social media friends delete, cancel, or give the silent treatment?

Of course, the best course of action/inaction is to stay off of social media. That's not going to happen with many teens. It's hurtful to have an argument with a "friend" and then discover that you've been unfriended/unfollowed. I'm just needing some feedback and insight to help teens gain a healthy perspective on this type of behavior.

I appreciate any responses.
You will get knee-jerk responses here from people who say, "What does it matter? They need to get off social media anyway!"

But that isn't helpful advice because this is the social capital of this generation.

So what it is at its core is rejection, and rejection hurts.

First, make sure your kids aren't actually doing something that is pushing people away. Once you've determined that ...

I always wanted my kids to be "connected" in multiple ways, whether it's sports or a part-time job or extracurricular activities so that they aren't basing their entire sense of self worth on reactions they get from peers online.

Keep them busy, and remind them that this type of action 1) usually isn't really about them but a sign of insecurity in the others, and 2) doesn't usually last.

Don't insult the other kids. Let your kid vent if they need to, but don't get drawn into pettiness. Likewise, don't downplay your kid's feelings. Do something fun that distracts them, if this is a fresh rejection.

Make sure they understand that their self-esteem has to come from inside them; it can't be a reflection of what they think other people think about them. And it can be a learning experience for YOUR kid to be kind to others.
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Old 06-19-2020, 05:58 PM
 
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Thank you. Yes these teens cannot see any other way except social media "friends". That at its core it's a rejection issue is great insight. I will attack it from that angle and assist with self esteem building.
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Old 06-19-2020, 06:05 PM
 
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What advice would you give them if they came home and said their friends wouldn't speak to them at school?
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Old 06-19-2020, 06:55 PM
 
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I agree with K12144. It's the same thing.

And this might be a really valuable learning experience, winterbird. Don't have fights with your friends and expect them to still be friends. This is something everyone has to learn. When a teen has a very public argument with a friend, that everyone in his circle can read, he should learn that might cause him to lose his friends.

I know it's a maturing process and it's very painful to watch your teen struggle. But this lesson he(she?) is learning will be helpful throughout your child's lifetime. Don't argue publicly with someone you still would like to remain friends with.

Best wishes.
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Old 06-19-2020, 07:09 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
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OP was the argument online or in real life, with just the fallout taking place online?
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Old 06-20-2020, 12:31 PM
 
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My question isn't regarding any particular situation. I'm asking for insight/suggestions on how to help teens navigate the angst that comes with social media aggression.
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Old 06-20-2020, 12:50 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by winterbird View Post
My question isn't regarding any particular situation. I'm asking for insight/suggestions on how to help teens navigate the angst that comes with social media aggression.
They need to socialize in the real world - sports, projects, volunteering ... whatever works for them.
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Old 06-20-2020, 01:02 PM
 
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Yes, they do.
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Old 06-20-2020, 01:06 PM
 
Location: Willowbrook, Houston
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Unless teens' social media friends are their real-life friends, I wouldn't worry about being unfriended or unfollowed on social media because most times, you won't come across them in reality. Sometimes, rejection can be a blessing because their personality and someone else's personality doesn't gel, so who wants to be friends (social media or real life) with someone who could be toxic?
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