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Old 06-20-2020, 11:34 AM
 
6 posts, read 1,913 times
Reputation: 10

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Quote:
Originally Posted by wildflower_FL View Post
If you are playing the way you say you are with monitoring your daughter's location at all times & constantly pausing every time you daughter enters the room, why not just wear a headset then? Problem solved, everyone is happy. If you are relying on your hearing to keep track of your family member's activities and can't do that with a headset, I don't think you are as available as you claim.

My point, and I think everyone else's is searching the internet for ammunition to tell your wife why she's wrong isn't helpful to your problem.
if I am indeed wearing a headset than I am not as available as I wanna be. that's true.
If I am not wearing a headset than I am available, but my wife thinks that the sounds (Which are not that loud. I do play on very low volume but they are heard in the living room) are harmful or stressing or something.

I am not looking for answers that support my side. I am just looking for answers from a reliable source. from a study or from a child psychologist or any source of authority. Not just other moms. I have absolutely no doubt what other moms might think, and that's not helpful. Just like I am not going to ask any gamer friends what THEY think because I can already know there is a good chance they are biased towards MY side.

I am looking for an objective answer, as unbiased as possible.

I don't know these boards. sometimes forums are monitored or moderated by professional staff, so i thought maybe these boards are such as well. If this isnt the case than I will try searching on other forums.

I tried doing a google search for professional material that can give answers but all I got was research about video games and kids who play them. Nothing about video games and kids who hear them :P
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Old 06-20-2020, 12:04 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
18,539 posts, read 19,366,586 times
Reputation: 46571
Not a scientific study, but I personally believe that children "hear" and absorb a lot more than parents may realize

Many years ago my husband and I watched Stephen King's original IT on video/TV while our daughter was upstairs playing. Our daughter was about 8 or 9 at the time. Recently (when in her late twenties) she told us that she had nightmares for years after hearing the movie through the walls. The reason it came up was because she had just had another nightmare about it (twenty years later).

We had noticed that she did get extra clingy for a while that summer but had absolutely no idea that she had even heard the movie or reacted to it (normally we only watched scary movies at night while our kids were asleep). We did not let her watch the movie and turned it off if she came downstairs so we thought that she was "safe" from the violence.

BTW, the original IT was not a super scary or bloody or noisy horror movie (it was more like a suspenseful thriller) and it certainly did not have the loud sound effects, gun violence and bad language of many of today's adult video games.

Last edited by germaine2626; 06-20-2020 at 12:28 PM..
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Old 06-20-2020, 01:22 PM
 
135 posts, read 158,738 times
Reputation: 180
Assuming the OP & his wife are only arguing over childhood development and aren't actually fighting over whether video games should be played during a kid's waking hours, I suspect the experts are going to lean more on her side.

Having just spent an hour with some Warhammer video game on very low volume as a background noise coming from an adjacent room, I had to tell my husband to kill the sound. He put on headphones because he doesn't wish for his hobby to get on my nerves. The game wasn't bothering me until he figured out how to destroy mechs, then every time he successfully shot one down, the sound rumbled in the house in a way that I would describe as noise pollution. It was disconcerting for me to hear these explosions, even if they were only loud enough to hear from 20 ft away.

I think most studies have shown noise pollution is bad for kids. This link says to limit their exposure.
https://centerforparentingeducation....n-down-volume/
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Old 06-20-2020, 04:07 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
48,912 posts, read 47,181,009 times
Reputation: 95821
Quote:
Originally Posted by topeira View Post

First of all, my wife never needed to tell me to be available. It's a given. I don't play games I cant pause and often I play for 2 minutes, pause, get up, help my child or wife, go back to my room, play for 4 minutes, pause, get up and help whomever needs it etc etc
Well that doesn't sound good or fun for YOU.


Quote:
Originally Posted by topeira View Post

And we are not only doing stuff that are helpful to the child. if we did, we wouldnt do anything that isnt catered to the child wellbeing - we wouldnt watch TV, we wouldnt drink beer, we wouldnt talk on the phone.... none of those activities are helpful. just simply harmless.
You're just entering the years-long phase where you will have to sacrifice some things you enjoy as an adult that you shouldn't do around your child - songs I couldn't play in the car, adult-themed shows I had to record and watch after they went to bed. It's just part of being a parent.

Quote:
Originally Posted by topeira View Post

I tend to think hearing sound (SOUND. not visuals not the context of the sound) is harmless.
I disagree that it's harmless. The sounds can be jarring and distressing, especially for a kid who has no context. Even just the interruption of the sounds can be distracting to the kid, which can cause stress.

But I won't bother typing out my reasons because I know it doesn't matter to you.

The main thing you need to worry about is not experts but the fact that you're trying to win a point over your wife, which isn't really a positive.
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Old 06-21-2020, 12:55 AM
 
6 posts, read 1,913 times
Reputation: 10
Thanks for all the input, guys.

I appreciate the time you've given to write your opinions.

P.s. BirdieBell - your reasons are the most important thing in the post. you didnt need to assume they dont matter. An opinion without the reason doesnt worth as much than WITH the reason

But i'll take it anyways.

Gu'day, ladies.
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Old 06-21-2020, 06:41 AM
 
Location: Central IL
16,976 posts, read 10,137,261 times
Reputation: 40193
As a young dad, just how much time every day are you basically uninvolved with your family? If the volume is that high you'd likely only respond if the child was yelling bloody murder.

You won't likely find a study done specifically to the point that you want to make - which is lucky for you. However, I'm tempted to find if ANY three year old doesn't know what a gun is or isn't scared when hearing blood-curdling noises coming from another room. You really don't think your 3 year understands such basic emotions? You're more naive than your child!..but keep telling yourself that.
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Old 06-21-2020, 06:52 AM
 
1,426 posts, read 1,735,596 times
Reputation: 2615
There are 2 rules in every household.
rule #1, the wife is always right.
Rule#2, if she is not right, see rule number 1.
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Old 06-21-2020, 06:54 AM
 
1,426 posts, read 1,735,596 times
Reputation: 2615
And children mirror themself , so if you play your games, that is the new normal for them.

Life is a give and take thing. You got kids, it is time to grow up. Read a paper or book. Train your brains. Or go walk outside with your kid.
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Old 06-21-2020, 07:18 AM
 
5,226 posts, read 4,525,995 times
Reputation: 15164
You are a father, not a 14 yr old boy. PLEASE, grow up! Your focus now should be your wife, your child, and your livelihood. Your video game addiction is endangering your marriage and your parenting. In fact, if your wife were to actually log your video game usage, it would be a very effective tool for getting full or virtually full custody of your daughter WHEN (not if) she gets sick of living with a violent video game addict.

Get the video game system out of the house altogether, and spend some time playing WITH your child (not being just physically present while engrossed in a violent (or any other type) video game. Try cleaning, cooking, working on the house and the car, going out with your wife and child, working on your career, getting your next degree.
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Old 06-21-2020, 08:15 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
48,912 posts, read 47,181,009 times
Reputation: 95821
Quote:
Originally Posted by topeira View Post
Thanks for all the input, guys.

I appreciate the time you've given to write your opinions.

P.s. BirdieBell - your reasons are the most important thing in the post. you didnt need to assume they dont matter. An opinion without the reason doesnt worth as much than WITH the reason

But i'll take it anyways.

Gu'day, ladies.
You've been more reasonable than lot of folks who come here.

You're allowed to have hobbies, of course. When your family gets bigger, there are simply more demands on your time. You just have to find times that work for everyone in the house.
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