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Old 06-20-2020, 07:57 AM
 
6 posts, read 1,779 times
Reputation: 10

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Hi everyone.

I have a 3 year old daughter.

I love playing video games at home and I try to refrain from playing them when my kid is watching, but I do play them when she's at home, minding her own business, playing by herself, or just having general fun when NOT around me.
However, my games usually involve noises that come from violence, like shooting, stabbing, explosions etc.

My wife (who is a kindergarten teacher, so she knows a thing or two about children) claims its harmful for children to grow near such noises, and I claim that my kid is way too young and un-traumatized by such noises to realize what those are and be bothered by them. She doesnt know what a gun is nor what a sword is, not what these sounds mean or what weapons do, nor does she see me play.
Obviously, my kid doesn't seem bothered one bit by those noises, but that doesnt mean its harmless or harmful to her.

My stance is that these sounds don't relate to anything bad or violent for her anyways so they are harmless to her.

Is there any study that shows that hearing violence-related sounds from video games or movies at home harm children? or, for some strange reason, even benefiting children? or maybe it's just harmless and there are no conclusive conclusion?
Anything that isn't just me or my wife's guesses.

Thanks.
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Old 06-20-2020, 08:09 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
48,898 posts, read 47,166,825 times
Reputation: 95813
Quote:
Originally Posted by topeira View Post
Hi everyone.

I have a 3 year old daughter.

I love playing video games at home and I try to refrain from playing them when my kid is watching, but I do play them when she's at home, minding her own business, playing by herself, or just having general fun when NOT around me.
However, my games usually involve noises that come from violence, like shooting, stabbing, explosions etc.

My wife (who is a kindergarten teacher, so she knows a thing or two about children) claims its harmful for children to grow near such noises, and I claim that my kid is way too young and un-traumatized by such noises to realize what those are and be bothered by them. She doesnt know what a gun is nor what a sword is, not what these sounds mean or what weapons do, nor does she see me play.
Obviously, my kid doesn't seem bothered one bit by those noises, but that doesnt mean its harmless or harmful to her.

My stance is that these sounds don't relate to anything bad or violent for her anyways so they are harmless to her.

Is there any study that shows that hearing violence-related sounds from video games or movies at home harm children? or, for some strange reason, even benefiting children? or maybe it's just harmless and there are no conclusive conclusion?
Anything that isn't just me or my wife's guesses.

Thanks.
You need a study?? I'm sure your wife appreciates that.

Why can you not just wear a headset?
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Old 06-20-2020, 08:25 AM
 
2,531 posts, read 783,473 times
Reputation: 6735
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Why can you not just wear a headset?
I wondered that, but realized wearing a headset might make it hard to hear the kid if she needs something.
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Old 06-20-2020, 08:41 AM
 
6 posts, read 1,779 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144 View Post
I wondered that, but realized wearing a headset might make it hard to hear the kid if she needs something.
This is the reason.
I want to be available for whenever my kid or my wife is calling me or need me, and a headset make me a bit unavailable.
And yes, I want a better reason to adhere to one way or another than just "opinions". a study or a more professional person to say if we're overreacting or underreacting.
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Old 06-20-2020, 08:48 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
48,898 posts, read 47,166,825 times
Reputation: 95813
Quote:
Originally Posted by topeira View Post
This is the reason.
I want to be available for whenever my kid or my wife is calling me or need me, and a headset make me a bit unavailable.
And yes, I want a better reason to adhere to one way or another than just "opinions". a study or a more professional person to say if we're overreacting or underreacting.
"A bit" unavailable ...

It seems silly to me that you don't value the opinion of your own wife, who is the mother of your child and a teacher. Saying you don't want opinions of experienced parents and will only abide by a professional study is a set-up.

It's not as if toddlers don't pick up profanity from older relatives who say it around them thinking "they don't even know what that is."

"Garbage in, garbage out ... " I say.

Yeah, I get that you want to play. Either take your console out of the common area of the house, or wait until your daughter is in bed.

Last edited by BirdieBelle; 06-20-2020 at 08:57 AM..
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Old 06-20-2020, 09:48 AM
 
6 posts, read 1,779 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
"A bit" unavailable ...

It seems silly to me that you don't value the opinion of your own wife, who is the mother of your child and a teacher. Saying you don't want opinions of experienced parents and will only abide by a professional study is a set-up.

It's not as if toddlers don't pick up profanity from older relatives who say it around them thinking "they don't even know what that is."

"Garbage in, garbage out ... " I say.

Yeah, I get that you want to play. Either take your console out of the common area of the house, or wait until your daughter is in bed.
First of all, I dont use game in the main area ofthe livingrom but in a seperate room to be as less disturbing as I can.
And headset make me partial unavailable because I do hear stuff and immediately attend to whomever, but sometimes i dont hear it soon enough and it seems to be its better to not have the headset on and the game or TV show on relatively low volume and be responsive than use a headset and be less responsive.

Now, I dont mind the opinion of experienced parents if they are substantiated. everyone has an opinion but someones opinion doesnt make a thing right. In some people's opinion being Gay is wrong. does that mean I should listen to that opinion just because some people hold it? Either they provide a good reason why they think that or be ignored.

I wont get into the subject of profanity since it will further derail the conversation and i don't see the relevancy of it. It's not like my kid is going to hear gun shots and later by a gun, right?
And besides, I agree on that subject. Not only we don't use profanity, we also don't use harsh negative language (so instead of saying "This food is disgusting", we say "this food isn't tasty for me", even between adults). But again, I dont see the relevancy of it.

The question is, is hearing action movies or video games traumatizing for the child or is harmful in some way or not?
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Old 06-20-2020, 09:55 AM
 
135 posts, read 158,581 times
Reputation: 180
My husband of over 20 years is a hardcore gamer. From my point of view, if you are involved with a game, you are unavailable, so wear a headset. When my kids were little, I required all games he played had to be able to be paused because if I needed him, he needed to be able to jump out of the game. He doesn't play in the main room of the house because it is a distracting activity for everyone that isn't involved with it. So even with the headset & separate room, the kids stilled paid attention to what he was doing. My advice, respect your wife's opinion and hold off on any first person shooters until your kid is old enough to understand it is pretend.

Your kid is at an age where she'll want to interact with you, so she will pay attention to what you are doing. I don't think it is safe to say she can't see what you are doing unless you are shut up in a room with a closed door. So keep that in mind, especially how some games portray women in addition to whatever violence.

My husband was really into Grand Theft Auto when my son was 3. I had a rule about no shooting, stabbing or poor depictions of how to handle encounters with law enforcement if he was going to play that game while our son was awake. A few weeks latter we were at the airport. The plane pulled up to the gate and my son pointed at it and exclaimed "A plane! My daddy shoots down planes!" Fortunately he wasn't articulate enough for anyone else to understand him. After that, all of my husband's Grand Theft Auto playing before my son's bedtime was limited to him driving around the ice cream truck.
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Old 06-20-2020, 09:56 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
48,898 posts, read 47,166,825 times
Reputation: 95813
A better question is ... is it helpful?

Your standard for deciding whether to allow something around your child should be higher than, “Is it traumatizing?”

I personally don’t think it’s good for a kid, but no, it’s probably not traumatizing.

If your wife thinks your kid can hear it while you’re in your room, the volume probably isn’t as low as you think.

If you’re on your console, you’re basically unavailable so you should just get a headset.
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Old 06-20-2020, 10:07 AM
 
6 posts, read 1,779 times
Reputation: 10
I think you are coming to wrong conclusions -

First of all, my wife never needed to tell me to be available. It's a given. I don't play games I cant pause and often I play for 2 minutes, pause, get up, help my child or wife, go back to my room, play for 4 minutes, pause, get up and help whomever needs it etc etc. I am very available and my hobby isn't my main concern.

Also, if my kid is coming in the room - I pause. she sees nothing.

Obviously, the volume isnt low enough :P
And we are not only doing stuff that are helpful to the child. if we did, we wouldnt do anything that isnt catered to the child wellbeing - we wouldnt watch TV, we wouldnt drink beer, we wouldnt talk on the phone.... none of those activities are helpful. just simply harmless.

I tend to think hearing sound (SOUND. not visuals not the context of the sound) is harmless.

We all read studies about how video games or TV shows effect young ones if they engage with it, but what about hearing it? a study about THIS I havent heard about.
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Old 06-20-2020, 10:21 AM
 
135 posts, read 158,581 times
Reputation: 180
If you are playing the way you say you are with monitoring your daughter's location at all times & constantly pausing every time you daughter enters the room, why not just wear a headset then? Problem solved, everyone is happy. If you are relying on your hearing to keep track of your family member's activities and can't do that with a headset, I don't think you are as available as you claim.

My point, and I think everyone else's is searching the internet for ammunition to tell your wife why she's wrong isn't helpful to your problem.
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