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The apparent obsession with her bowel habits is disturbing, among other things. And frankly having all these live-in SOs everywhere she goes is not the best situation for this child.
I agree re obsession!!
Re the SOs everywhere LOL I probably wrote it out disjointed
Childs Mom and her SO have lived together the last 2 and half years (child is 4). child calls SO 'daddy 1'. (interestingly she calls her bio father 'daddy eleventeen" - to her, eleventeen is a HUGE number - one of her least favourite)
Bio father (the butthead - literally and figuratively) has a GF who he visits. She lives 3+ hours away - and when he picks child up for parenting weekends.. he drives with her down to see GF for the weekend. Child is taken care of by... Bio Father, GF, GF's parents, GFs friends, GFs grandmother. GF has told child "im going to be your new mommy' - which completely unraveled child - as she was terrified she wouldnt have her current mommy anymore - nightmares for MONTHS about that one!)
Judge told daughter its none of her business who watches child or what Bio Father does with child, when in his 'care'.
Im Gramma (childs Bio Maternal Grandma) - child is with ME 730a - 530p Mon-Fri. (except on parenting weekends, then I have her only til thursday). This has gone on since end of March (except the parenting weekend.. during covid mother had child every weekend) Prior to that, I had her for at least one overnight a week (because biofather kept skipping his parenting weekends, it meant my daughter never had time to just be herself... take a bubble bath with NO ONE else. Or read a book or whatever - and I dont mean it as child is a hinderance... but its hard having a little one constantly attached - especially due to the HF Autism - child is very clingy)
Both I and childs Mothers household are VERY stable. We have routines (same routine my house as theirs - we try to keep it that way so theres very little disruption to child - as child is HF Austistic along with other 'issues').
Its when she goes to biofather - that her routine gets completely disrupted and biofather refuses to give medication doc prescribed... refuses to allow child to video chat mom during weekend... oh man the list goes on. BUT the judge said its none of childs mothers business... (sigh)
Not pooping for one day is grounds for a suppository?
I echo what others here have stated that I would be very suspicious of molestation and would go back to court to seek supervised visitation.
My daughter is filing today or tomorrow for that.
I so appreciate everyones tips/advice!! Sometimes when things happen like this, its easy to second guess oneself.. and think maybe we're over reacting.
Both I and childs Mothers household are VERY stable. We have routines (same routine my house as theirs - we try to keep it that way so theres very little disruption to child - as child is HF Austistic along with other 'issues').
Its when she goes to biofather - that her routine gets completely disrupted and biofather refuses to give medication doc prescribed... refuses to allow child to video chat mom during weekend... oh man the list goes on. BUT the judge said its none of childs mothers business... (sigh)
I feel for this child. She didn't ask for any of this. Daddy 1 and Daddy Eleventeen?
I feel for this child. She didn't ask for any of this. Daddy 1 and Daddy Eleventeen?
Challenge the judge on that "no say" BS.
I agree
In the hearing - when my daughter tried to challenge the judge (because my daughter is SOLE custodian with authority in all matters - ex only has visitation) the judge asked her if she wanted to lose custody to the ex. My daughter shut up.
As a former social worker this is very strange behavior. I worked in child protection for 4 years and you can absolutely do supervised visits. I really hope that happens. The judge sounds like a jerk.
As a former social worker this is very strange behavior. I worked in child protection for 4 years and you can absolutely do supervised visits. I really hope that happens. The judge sounds like a jerk.
That's a very strange response from the judge. I'm very familiar with the "no say" clause, as I went through the court system myself (as a male who took mom to court to get rights) and have seen the judge elaborate with regards to a ex taking on a new relationship. Typically the other parent cannot dictate who and when the other parent associates with someone as long as no harm is being done to the child.
First off, this is certainly not legal advice so I recommend talking to a lawyer, but I think in order to make a case, you need to prove that there is a degree of psychological or physical harm being done to the child. Unsure if a GAL (guardian at litem) would then be called in at this point. Judges tend to want to keep children with both parents unless there is a degree of potential harm. If the other parent is just an ******* to the other parent, that's typically not enough.
Sorry to say, but I think you need to get a lawyer and start documenting a case for potential harm in order to make a change.
That's a very strange response from the judge. I'm very familiar with the "no say" clause, as I went through the court system myself (as a male who took mom to court to get rights) and have seen the judge elaborate with regards to a ex taking on a new relationship. Typically the other parent cannot dictate who and when the other parent associates with someone as long as no harm is being done to the child.
First off, this is certainly not legal advice so I recommend talking to a lawyer, but I think in order to make a case, you need to prove that there is a degree of psychological or physical harm being done to the child. Unsure if a GAL (guardian at litem) would then be called in at this point. Judges tend to want to keep children with both parents unless there is a degree of potential harm. If the other parent is just an ******* to the other parent, that's typically not enough.
Sorry to say, but I think you need to get a lawyer and start documenting a case for potential harm in order to make a change.
Thank you so much for your thoughts on this )
Yesterday she had a phone consultation with a couple of different lawyers - all with family law firms.. and she has chosen one she really likes and has put down a retainer (she just told me this about 30 min ago) - she said they are going to represent her on a modification of child visitation motion.
We took the child to the doctor yesterday - and he actually wrote a letter for her to give to her ex stating 'suppositories and enemas are never to be used on the child without consulting with a pediatric doctor'. He was NOT pleased that ex had given the child a suppository OR an enema. He checked the child for tears etc and didnt find any BUT said that it doesnt mean none are there. He also had a urine sample taken to rule out other issues.
Between the dad and doctors I feel so bad for the child and her mom. I really hope your lawyer prevails. Sexual abuse is so horrible. I know that the doctors are necessary but the whole situation sucks.
Why is your daughter starting from scratch with attorneys?
What happened to the attorney she used the first time around?
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