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Old 07-18-2020, 09:11 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,990 posts, read 49,748,777 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144 View Post
Most people I know of who talk about "feminization" of something mean it's made "girly." (Usually also used as a pejorative.)
Well, of course it is.

But that's a red herring, because it's illogical that the OP made a thread ostensibly about "her" husband's concern about his son's hobby making him girly, but instead of talking about that, "she" immediately relays a tale about a little boy wearing girl's underwear.

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Old 07-18-2020, 11:30 PM
 
Location: Watervliet, NY
5,264 posts, read 2,283,144 times
Reputation: 9803
Quote:
Originally Posted by PamelaIamela View Post
Ballet is not a sport.
It's more of a sport than activities that are defined as sports, because you are doing difficult physical moves and making them look effortless, with no grimacing or gritting teeth with the effort.
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Old 07-19-2020, 01:16 AM
 
84 posts, read 18,385 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
I hadn't heard that about Baryshnikov, but Nureyev was bi.
Right you are, Ruth.

Bungalove (and anyone else who may be interested), Nureyev had a long-term relationship with another great dancer, Erik Bruhn--and along the way he also had many, many affairs with men, some with women. I love ballet and ballet history and also have several books about various dancers and companies; my favorite era of dance history is the Ballets Russes; Nijinsky was not straight, either, for one thing he lived with Diaghilev for some time. He tried to "go straight" and entered into a marriage with a woman, but if you read about his life he was predominantly attracted to men.
That they slept mostly with guys doesn't make these dancers any less masculine.


Back to the OP: Does the young ballet student here have a sister, or did someone at the ballet studio suggest wearing girls underwear to him? I'm wondering how he came up with the idea.

Last edited by Zaladane714; 07-19-2020 at 01:23 AM.. Reason: typos. This is my first post so what do you expect? :)
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Old 07-19-2020, 04:07 AM
 
7,277 posts, read 6,117,528 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bungalove View Post
If your son wants a positive male role model in a ballet dancer, have him look up Andre Eglevsky. He was a Russian-born, very muscular ballet dancer who choreographed the movie Limelight for Charlie Chaplin. He was also the father of my first orthopedic doctor. There's also Mikhail Baryshnikov, Rudolf Nureyev, and Vaslav Nijinsky - all very male and straight. These would all be good role models for your son if he truly likes ballet.
Thank you. Baryshnikov was the name I was searching for. He was the bomb back in the 80's. "Baryshnikov on Broadway" I remember? Patrick Swayze was a dancer, too (took lessons at his mother's dance academy). Not a "sissy", not by a long shot. The workout probably gave him that incredible physique.

My oldest DD took dance for a few years...tap and ballet. There WERE a couple of boys in the class.

Lastly, Robert Helpmann, who played the "Child Catcher" in the movie "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang", was a ballet dancer, who caused many a childhood nightmare (he was gay, but still scared the crap out of generations of kids). Dick Van Dyke later said there was a behind the scenes wreck with his "Child Catcher" carriage...anyone else would have been injured, but he just sort of nimbly leaped over it.

Dick Van Dyke? He's a dancer, too.
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Old 07-19-2020, 09:08 AM
 
Location: 26°N x 82°W
939 posts, read 476,972 times
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Ballet dancers, male or female are amazing athletes. It takes amazing strength, balance, coordination. My son danced for a while around that age. He lost interest but even today as an adult he has amazing posture and is crazy strong for being such a slender person.

All's good.
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Old 07-19-2020, 01:45 PM
 
Location: colorado springs, CO
8,095 posts, read 3,770,307 times
Reputation: 23470
Did I miss something?

Why should your son start wearing girl panties because someone else's son does? Does he complain about being uncomfortable? Fidget & squirm with his undies?

I don't see anything wrong with the other boy wearing panties & I don't think there is anything wrong about the conversation (although her son may not agree, if he knew) but how does this translate into "maybe my son should wear panties too"?
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Old 07-19-2020, 01:48 PM
 
Location: Dessert
5,800 posts, read 2,740,049 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PamelaIamela View Post

According to dancers most male ballet dancers are gay, the rest are bi or straight.

.
I wonder...
Are straight males not interested in dance, or are they scared away from something they love because they worry about what others say?

I used to work in live theater, and it seemed like straight guys weren't as common there as my single self would have liked.

I've heard that male ballet dancers are more likely to get financial aid at dance schools because there are fewer of them.

It's great the kid has found something he enjoys!
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Old 07-19-2020, 05:37 PM
 
3,339 posts, read 632,095 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by steiconi View Post
I wonder...
Are straight males not interested in dance, or are they scared away from something they love because they worry about what others say?

I used to work in live theater, and it seemed like straight guys weren't as common there as my single self would have liked.

I've heard that male ballet dancers are more likely to get financial aid at dance schools because there are fewer of them.

It's great the kid has found something he enjoys!
Patrick swayze was in ballet classes taught by his mother, that is where he met his wife and both were I believe were in the New York ballet co. He had a bad knee due to a football injury he received in high school.
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Old 07-19-2020, 07:38 PM
 
3,725 posts, read 1,338,605 times
Reputation: 9670
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Well, of course it is.

But that's a red herring, because it's illogical that the OP made a thread ostensibly about "her" husband's concern about his son's hobby making him girly, but instead of talking about that, "she" immediately relays a tale about a little boy wearing girl's underwear.

Well, if one was already concerned about one's son becoming too feminine because of dance, I'm sure him then wearing girls' underwear would probably exacerbate the concern, right?


Quote:
Originally Posted by steiconi View Post
I wonder...
Are straight males not interested in dance, or are they scared away from something they love because they worry about what others say?
More likely the latter. As a culture we've decided dance is not something males should be interested in, and when you've internalized that your whole life, plus considered what other people will say about it... yup.


Quote:
Originally Posted by steiconi View Post
I've heard that male ballet dancers are more likely to get financial aid at dance schools because there are fewer of them.
And they're likely to be very popular with the females as well. There are few enough males that they're often a hot commodity (especially in forms of dance that are usually partner-based, such as ballroom) and enough of a novelty as well that the girls will flock around.
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Old 07-19-2020, 07:48 PM
 
2,147 posts, read 1,966,657 times
Reputation: 4800
I certainly wouldn’t discourage him from doing ballet. He’d carry that resentment with him for the rest of his life. The underwear thing is a really odd thing to talk about, maybe the other mom is feeling insecure about it and wanted affirmation that it was ok? I don’t see how panties honestly would help since males have things that tend to move around during athletic endeavors. Typically you’re looking for more support, not less.

As far as the bullying, welcome to life. People get picked on for everything and anything. He can’t do activities worried and afraid about what everyone else thinks. At some point you have to stand up for yourself. Encourage and support the ballet, but maybe not the panties.
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