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I see. I thought you were talking about it being a reality and was like sign me up! My misunderstanding. I agree that people should wait until they can afford kids. If anything should be subsidized it should be birth control.
No worries. I am glad we could discuss it calmly and come to an understanding.
It’s long been time for this! My daughter works in a Day Care and the stories she tells about the kids behavior is mind blowing! Trust me, no one will EVER love and nurture your children like you would.
It’s long been time for this! My daughter works in a Day Care and the stories she tells about the kids behavior is mind blowing! Trust me, no one will EVER love and nurture your children like you would.
Burton L. White wrote a book called "The First Three Years of Life". He was a strong proponent of having children cared for by parents or grandparents when the parents were not available.
His book was written in 1975 and updated 20 years later:
One thing I've read is that parents spend more time researching a new car purchase than they do when looking for day care.
I remember taking a walk with my daughter when she was a toddler. As we walked by one apartment building in our complex, a woman came out to her balcony. She had seen me around and didn't know my name. Then she asked me if I would do daycare for her son since she was going back to work. I was taken aback since she knew nothing about me. In the end, I told her that I wasn't up to doing that and wished her well with her search.
Apparently, for some people leaving their kids with someone whose name they don't know is just fine. Once WaPo did a story where they followed an immigrant family. The mother was asked the name of her daycare provider. She said she didn't know her name but called her "La Senora Mexicana".
Once I had a co-worker that told me her sister did daycare in her home. My co-worker was talking about how easy her sister had it. When the weather was nice, she made all the kids go in the yard and told the older ones to watch the younger ones while she watched TV.
Many people put their baby in daycare starting at 6 weeks old. When my daughter was that age, I couldn't imagine it. I spent about 2 hours a day commuting to work, as did my husband. Even before having a child, we would come home feeling spent. After picking up a child from daycare, feeding and bathing a child that young, then putting him/her to bed means barely spending any time with him/her.
All that said, everybody's experience is different. I also know that there are circumstances where the best laid plans come to naught and then there is a need for daycare. Sometimes it's because, for whatever reason, the mother or father becomes a single parent and has no family around to help out.
Since the Covid-19 lockdown, I've heard a number of parents express they like being home with their children. Isn't that nice? Parents actually wanting to parent! Stop the presses! Call the media!
How did we get to the point that it takes two incomes to run a family? Why has it not only become acceptable but in many ways the norm to farm out ones children to the lowest priced stranger to raise our nation's children? Because we'd rather serve our corporate overlords than raise our children?
It seems this has only been the way since the '60's. Is it a coincidence that families have never been as strained -- or estranged -- from one another.
My husband and I don't have children. That's mostly because we decided we couldn't do both a career and parenting and do them both well.
Someone said Dan Quayle was right and Murphy Brown was wrong. Now there's something I never thought I'd say, but can we agree that all things being equal... A two-parent household is better for the child. Saying this doesn't demonize the one parent household.
The workplace could change to accommodate this. Whether the father or the mother (or Spouse A or Spouse B) stays home is a family decision. Whichever spouse stays home would receive some level of Universal income. They are after all, caring for our nation's future and that's at least a national security issue.
Children deserve it... Parents deserve it... Our nation deserves it. Well-balanced families and near zero unemployment. Happy, smiling faces! What could possibly go wrong? It is time to return to family obligations and stop farming out responsibilities to strangers?
No one is forced to stay home or give up a career. Life is full of choices. And I choose to avoid being antagonistic so I hope we can have a friendly discourse. What say you?
Are you serious with all of this? Stop and think about it before responding.
No sure what farming out means.... is this about babysitters? How odd. Its okay for two income families to hire a nanny yet let a single parent find a babysitter so work can be had, and somehow its scoffed at? How completely obsurd. Blessed every moment that my neighborhood had supportive folks.
By the way, some of us actually liked raising our children ourselves! I know not everyone can do it, but my wife and I sacrificed a lot of income and a lot of other things so that one or the other of us, and often both were always there for our kids, and we still do even though they are grown and off on their own (mostly). My wife likes taking care of kids so much she teaches at a daycare even though she should be retired. She loves those children almost as much as her own! My only point is that I think some people might find themselves slaving away in a job and missing out on a lot during their child's formative years. Again, I know a lot of people just can't make it work, and I think it is really important we figure out as a country how to make quality daycare, schooling, and family leave work for everyone at all income levels.
I live in the North East and have never seen government or employer based daycare. Never, but I'm sure you must have come across something that would indicate otherwise.
My wife and I worked for a company in NY that provided excellent onsite daycare as a benefit. They took kids as young as 12 weeks through to kindergarten. Many couples took advantage of it, which benefited the company immensely.
Being onsite parents could see their kids throughout the day, breastfeed when needed and it became routine to “go to school” for those who were older. The kids also did bake sales and other activities during holidays on the campus.
By the way, some of us actually liked raising our children ourselves! I know not everyone can do it, but my wife and I sacrificed a lot of income and a lot of other things so that one or the other of us, and often both were always there for our kids, and we still do even though they are grown and off on their own (mostly). My wife likes taking care of kids so much she teaches at a daycare even though she should be retired. She loves those children almost as much as her own! My only point is that I think some people might find themselves slaving away in a job and missing out on a lot during their child's formative years. Again, I know a lot of people just can't make it work, and I think it is really important we figure out as a country how to make quality daycare, schooling, and family leave work for everyone at all income levels.
When you say “should be retired” is that because you’re in your 60’s? Sadly times have changed.
It’s long been time for this! My daughter works in a Day Care and the stories she tells about the kids behavior is mind blowing! Trust me, no one will EVER love and nurture your children like you would.
You think parents dont still love and nurture there children if they utilize childcare? As someone up thread brought up most people dont have much memory of events before the age of 5. It really doesn't matter if its your birth mom or a daycare worker or nanny or aunt that changes your diaper and feeds you, or plays games with you and watches over your for 40 or 50 hours a week.
Or are you saying your daughter and other daycare workers neglect and abuse the kids in their care.
Thanks for those of you that offered the interesting comments and some good points all around. I wouldn't expect anyone to take the issue personally. Of course there are good parents. What could you expect in a country with 1/3 of a BILLION PEOPLE! Some parents will move heaven and earth to provide for their children and to love them and guide them.
So it's not about the choices you made or I made. IT'S REALLY ABOUT THE FUTURE. Are you really going to defend this culture that believes societal issues and the foundation of Family are doing just fine? Everything is peachy keen? 40% of children are now born to single mothers with no additional spouse playing a role. And a majority of single mothers will live in poverty with their child, dreams will be deferred and opportunities lost. You REALLY believe that sort of standard is GOOD ENOUGH? Hundreds of thousands of children in foster care and I probably don't have to tell you what a total nightmare that is. On their 18th birthday, these kids are tossed to the street, with virtually no one to turn to! Do you really think the government is doing everything it can and should do to support and nurture healthy family units?
Can you just TRY to imagine that there is a better way to support families and children than what is happening today?
Clearly, if you think everything is just fine because "you" raised upstanding citizens, then we have little in common.
I see a public school system that has failed. If you don't believe me, take a look at the global rankings. Part of the problem is because parents aren't involved (except for "you" of course.) Ask a teacher in any inner city school and ask them how many of the parents of their students show up for Parent-Teacher Night. The answer is between 5 and 10% show up. That means 90% DON'T. But typical for America, it's always, always someone else's fault.
The bottom line is we get the government we deserve. Millions don't even bother to vote. We get the public education we deserve. And what becomes of the youth in the upcoming generation is exactly what you made of it. For some who can least afford it, buying the newest sneakers is the newest definition of Family Values. Sorry, I don't get it.
What I am getting is the impression that Americans don't value the proposition that allows one parent to stay home and actively raise their children instead of paying someone else to look after them. To my way of thinking a monthly Universal Stipend to that parent would be an investment in this country that would be well worth it. Oh well, as a woman who is apparently standing alone in this thinking, at least we're all entitled to our own opinions.
I teach in an inner-city school, and while many more than 10% of the parents show up on Parent-Teacher Conference Day, often they can't come because they are having to work two minimum wage jobs to try to make ends meet. They have to work five hours to earn as much as I do in one. That means that they don't always have enough time to meet in person with their children's teachers.
We absolutely shouldn't be farming out children to be cared for by people earning $7.25/hour. They should be making at least double that. Ideally, infants, toddlers, and preschoolers would be cared for by people who have earned degrees in early childhood education, and at the very least, a two-year certificate showing that they have mastered their profession.
Our country resists spending money on other people's children, and the results are visible in the disparity between the haves and have-nots. While suburban homeowners decry high property taxes in areas that spend upwards of $20,000 per pupil, wealthy parents think nothing of spending upwards of $45,000 for their children's private schools. Meanwhile, the inner-city students are funded in our state at around $9,000 per pupil. Is there any wonder why the gap exists?
When people finally realize that taking good care of all children lays the foundation for a stronger nation, then we may be able to raise those educational levels that you were so concerned about. When you consider than over 1/4 of children in the U. S. are growing up in homes where the income level puts them in the poverty category, it is amazing that we do as well as we do.
In other countries where the educational level is higher, there are schools that serve poor children, but the schools themselves are not poor. They also have a much stronger social safety net that allows parents to take paid leave during those earliest months when many Americans are having to put their children into child care in order to get back to work. Child care centers are most often staffed by professionals. Additionally, health care costs are most often contained so that one medical emergency doesn't break the families financially.
As my dad used to say, "You get what you pay for." When you pay minimum wage for child care, you get minimum child care.
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I am glad we could discuss it calmly and come to an understanding.
Once WaPo did a story where they followed an immigrant family. The mother was asked the name of her daycare provider. She said she didn't know her name but called her "La Senora Mexicana".
