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Honestly that kid is basically a throw-away at this point if he was already on hard drugs by 15. Unless he joins the military or the ministry, he's probably going to amount to nothing but a drain on society. No need to bother trying to adjust something around the fringes with him (i.e. getting him to stop vaping).
It's better than the alternative (hard drugs from the street). Sometimes that's the best you can do.
Providing pot to your fifteen year old minor child and facilitating his vaping is "the best you can do"?
Don't think so. Mom needs to give Al-Anon a call (there may be a similar group closer to her specific situation, but Al-Anon would be a good place to start and can refer her to additional help).
Has this boy ever been in rehab? Been involved in crime other than illegal drug abuse? Is there a father on the scene, or any other involved adults? Is the boy physically intimidating his mother, siblings, pets, stealing from her, or threatening self-harm or other scary stuff? Why is his mother caving like this?
Mom needs to be pulled up short and provided with a reality check, plus some healthier options for her son. She is failing parenthood at present. She will reap the whirlwind if this continues without intervention.
Easier to be a cool friend then to actually parent.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TaxPhd
As long as she is the kids best friend, free-range parenting totally works.
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Originally Posted by CarnivalGal
It is abusive and illegal and reportable.
I agree. One of those sad cases where a parent just wants to be their kids' friend and then will wring their hands helplessly when the little cherub is in jail or in front of the judge.
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Originally Posted by redplum33
It's better than the alternative (hard drugs from the street). Sometimes that's the best you can do.
It's better than the alternative (hard drugs from the street). Sometimes that's the best you can do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CraigCreek
Providing pot to your fifteen year old minor child and facilitating his vaping is "the best you can do"?
Don't think so. Mom needs to give Al-Anon a call (there may be a similar group closer to her specific situation, but Al-Anon would be a good place to start and can refer her to additional help).
Has this boy ever been in rehab? Been involved in crime other than illegal drug abuse? Is there a father on the scene, or any other involved adults? Is the boy physically intimidating his mother, siblings, pets, stealing from her, or threatening self-harm or other scary stuff? Why is his mother caving like this?
Mom needs to be pulled up short and provided with a reality check, plus some healthier options for her son. She is failing parenthood at present. She will reap the whirlwind if this continues without intervention.
How the mother is handling it certainly isn't ideal, but it's a very difficult situation and she's keeping the kid off the streets. That's what's important.
Your suggestions, including the forced rehab, are extremely unlikely to achieve the desired results. This isn't a Lifetime movie. He'll end up on the streets - where he will very likely be dead or in jail by age 20.
Letting him smoke weed at home under her supervision is an act of kindness. She's saving his life.
How the mother is handling it certainly isn't ideal, but it's a very difficult situation and she's keeping the kid off the streets. That's what's important.
Your suggestions, including the forced rehab, are extremely unlikely to achieve the desired results. This isn't a Lifetime movie. He'll end up on the streets - where he will very likely be dead or in jail by age 20.
Letting him smoke weed at home under her supervision is an act of kindness. She's saving his life.
I agree. He could also have other mental difficulties such autism so you cannot rationalize with him. She may also have a therapist working with him. Parenting is a tough job.
It's better than the alternative (hard drugs from the street). Sometimes that's the best you can do.
What?
how about NEITHER! Why is a 15yr trying to escape from reality? what the HELL is going on in that home that this kid needs to get high?! I would be looking into the parents!
how about NEITHER! Why is a 15yr trying to escape from reality? what the HELL is going on in that home that this kid needs to get high?! I would be looking into the parents!
Poor kid
I grew up in a somewhat affluent area in NJ and saw lots of kids going down this path. It had nothing to do with having problems at home; if anything, it's because there weren't enough problems in their lives. Look at celebrities with drug problems- when life is too easy, people have no sense of purpose and turn to the dark side.
Not saying there is a right answer, but just because a 15 year old is going down a dark path doesn't automatically point to abusive parents etc. Sometimes it's just because the parents spoiled them.
I grew up in a somewhat affluent area in NJ and saw lots of kids going down this path. It had nothing to do with having problems at home; if anything, it's because there weren't enough problems in their lives. Look at celebrities with drug problems- when life is too easy, people have no sense of purpose and turn to the dark side.
Not saying there is a right answer, but just because a 15 year old is going down a dark path doesn't automatically point to abusive parents etc. Sometimes it's just because the parents spoiled them.
Spoiling them to compensate for not being there for their kids. I know plenty of affluent, well to do execs that at work are high profile etc, at home?..... Their kids lives are going to ****.... they give those kids EVERYTHING but their time, their emotional support, you know, the important ****.
9/10 times it is neglect of some sort that leads kids to numbing with drugs or alcohol. That is a form of abuse. Sometimes it can be emotional, physical, sexual, just plain abandonment. Kids that parents dont take an interest in are vulnerable to all sorts of predators... kids dont need things thrown at them..... they want to be treated with respect and LISTENED to, included in things.
This kid is being neglected in so many ways, and trust, the kid didnt one day decide to be a drug addict and the mom enabling it instead of fixing the root of the issue is even worse- basically telling the kid to keep numbing away.
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