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yes...record their conversations and let her parents hear it...find out what they think of it.,,might be of help, might not. Depends a lot on how the mother of this girl was raised..course your son should also be held as responsible for his own actions and what's going on....sounds like he's a willing participant, despite the fact that you say it's the young girl who's coming on to him.
It's up to you to direct your son in what you think is right or wrong...or at least, get him some protection from possible stds.
Personally my son wouldn't be visiting this girl anymore. Had I heard what you did I would have been there immediately and put a stop to it then and there.
It's consumed his whole life and his grades have all dropped to F.
Long story, I found out that the few times he has gone over her house the girl has performed oral sex on him, and he has returned the favor.
In addition, I've over heard them having phone sex a few times. She is very, very sexually graphically detailing what she wants to do to my son.
Last sentence you say she details "what she wants to do to my son"... it should say what she wants to do WITH my son...remember HE is older and HE is an avid participator in this...direct HIM..HE is just as wrong (if not more so) than she is for what you are continuing to allow happen at her place.
Hello fellow parents. Touchy subject and situation I'm dealing with an looking for advice....
I have a just-turned 15 year old son, not very mature for his age, physically looks 13-14. He is quite, only has 2 close friends, and for the most part stays in his room playing video games all day. Never been in trouble. He is now a hs sophomore. For 6 months he has had a 'girlfriend'. He texts/calls her 24/7 and when not texting he looks at photos of her constantly. It's consumed his whole life and his grades have all dropped to F. She is 1 year younger than him, however with make up she could pass for 20. Her parents are very strict and do not let them go out on dates but a few times have let him over her house, only when they are home (apparently this stems from when she was 12 she was 'hanging out with' a 17 year old boy).
Long story, I found out that the few times he has gone over her house the girl has performed oral sex on him, and he has returned the favor. The parents were home but were in another room. When he talks to her on the phone, he has it on speaker and I can hear everything. The girl is practically begging him for sex. They are planning to go to her house lying about her parents being home to get it on. Their conversations sound more like two 40 years olds in a relationship (calling each other "babe" and "I love you").
In addition, I've over heard them having phone sex a few times. I know what a 15 year old boy is doing in his room when the door is locked. Ok I get it that's just life. Again this girl is on speaker and omg she sounds like a professional phone sex operator with 20 yrs experience. She is very, very sexually graphically detailing what she wants to do to my son. I mean terminology and a voice that literally sounds like an x-rated movie.
As a parent, this situation worries me. I think this is completely age inappropriate. I don't want to be a grandparent at my age. I'm actually shocked that a girl who just turned 14 would behave like this. I've talked to a few parents who think this is "just what teenagers do" and normal, and others have flipped. The two kids do not go to the same school and they've only seen each other 4 times at the girl's house in the past 6 months. How would parents here feel about this situation and what actions would you take?
I would record their conversations. I would do it on video, with the camera aimed at your son's closed door and you standing as far away from the door as possible while still getting a good audio recording of what is being said. This way, it is clear that (1) you did the recording at home, and (2) your son's conversations aren't anywhere near as private as he might think they are.
Then, play the video for your son. He will probably be embarrassed as all get-out, but that's good. Let him know, as calmly as you can, why you think this is a bad idea. Try not to come across as judging him, but rather that you are his father (I assume) and that you love him and that you want to see him be the best he can be.
As for the girl, do you know for sure that she's 14? Maybe she's older than has been claimed. (I assume you've met her, if you're able to describe her as looking like she could pass for 20.) Apparently she's a lot more "experienced" than one would expect a 14-year-old to be. This too is something that you should discuss with your son.
yes...record their conversations and let her parents hear it...find out what they think of it.,,might be of help, might not. Depends a lot on how the mother of this girl was raised..course your son should also be held as responsible for his own actions and what's going on....sounds like he's a willing participant, despite the fact that you say it's the young girl who's coming on to him.
It's up to you to direct your son in what you think is right or wrong...or at least, get him some protection from possible stds.
Personally my son wouldn't be visiting this girl anymore. Had I heard what you did I would have been there immediately and put a stop to it then and there.
Do NOT record conversations! This is illegal in many states unless all parties are aware of the recording. These are also minor children. Recording their sexcapades may be considered child porn. Want to go down that path?
What on earth does how the mother of girl raised have to do with anything?
If teenagers want to get together, they will ALWAYS find a way! Parents stopping them will only make them seek out alternative means of meeting and doing everything you don't want them to do.
I would record their conversations. I would do it on video, with the camera aimed at your son's closed door and you standing as far away from the door as possible while still getting a good audio recording of what is being said. This way, it is clear that (1) you did the recording at home, and (2) your son's conversations aren't anywhere near as private as he might think they are.
Then, play the video for your son. He will probably be embarrassed as all get-out, but that's good. Let him know, as calmly as you can, why you think this is a bad idea. Try not to come across as judging him, but rather that you are his father (I assume) and that you love him and that you want to see him be the best he can be.
As for the girl, do you know for sure that she's 14? Maybe she's older than has been claimed. (I assume you've met her, if you're able to describe her as looking like she could pass for 20.) Apparently she's a lot more "experienced" than one would expect a 14-year-old to be. This too is something that you should discuss with your son.
Good luck, OP.
OMG! You are advocating to video record what could be construed as child porn!
Doing this and playing it for a child is not going to go the way you think it will. They will feel violated and distrust you.
Last sentence you say she details "what she wants to do to my son"... it should say what she wants to do WITH my son...remember HE is older and HE is an avid participator in this...direct HIM..HE is just as wrong (if not more so) than she is for what you are continuing to allow happen at her place.
Most likely the act she is describing something she wants to do to him. As an adult you are probably aware there are many acts one does to another one in the bedroom.
HE is only marginally older than her but they are both under the age of consent and therefore both as responsible and not responsible. He can not consent any more than she can. If OP is a real person with a real issue he has a responsibility to his child to explain what is happening is not right but there is NO planet where he is more wrong or right than her. They are both children.
Long story, I found out that the few times he has gone over her house the girl has performed oral sex on him, and he has returned the favor. The parents were home but were in another room. When he talks to her on the phone, he has it on speaker and I can hear everything. The girl is practically begging him for sex. They are planning to go to her house lying about her parents being home to get it on.
This part doesn't make any sense. All the parents already know, and the kids intentionally let their parents find out. Why are you coming here?
Well whaddya expect when the internet's packed full of porn, and media is all about sex and "love" anyway? Haven't you seen the preview for "cuties"? Kids are sexualized more than they've ever been and it's ruining kids' childhoods. Even tumblr and twitter have gross amounts of porn on it and I think all parents need to protest this type of material online or something. It's not good for developing young minds.
I remember back in middle my best female friend had been coerced into performing sex w/ her "boyfriend" of 15. She was 12. And another friend, and another friend, and another friend...most of friends lost their virginities before they turned 16. This is more common than we'd like to admit. And I really wish kids would be more educated about the subject but also more respectful toward their bodies and innocence. Unfortunately, society does not care for protection of children. That's the parents' job. I agree w/ crystalys, but I also don't think you'll be able to stop him from having sex. Especially a teenager. Male egos pretty much revolve around how much sex they get, it's a matter of teaching them the consequences of engaging in it. Just cuz he doesn't get pregnant doesn't mean there's no consequences.
They go to different schools, so I’m guessing the girl has more than 1 boyfriend.
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