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Your only real option may be to move to a new city, at least for a while. She probably won't want to, but she has no choice.
I second this. It's clear that he doesn't have any respect whatsoever for authority anyway, but the gang connections make this situation infinitely more dangerous. I'm not sure how to get through to your daughter, OP, but you need to get your family out as soon as possible. Like today if at all feasible.
Good morning, I appreciate your response and am not shy. The police talked to him
but he still talked to her. He doesn’t care. So I am working on a few things. My D is ok and wants therapy so this is good. Every day I have to be on full alert because this boy’s family is gang related so the law means nothing to him. I know I need to move from here. Thanks so much
Then your best option is to move out of chicago or illnois period . dont hesitate move now . Put the house up for sale whatever you gotta do , do it . This could very well be your daughter's life and sanity . Just move and dont let anyone know where you moved to .
To everyone that has responded, I want to say thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart! It’s feels great to know that I’m on point about this, despite the the irrational and abusive comments from this boy. Regardless I can’t really reason with my D. She sees what I’m explaining but excuses it because of his childhood an now he’s saying he’s a changed man. So far I haven’t seen that and know that it takes time to undo what’s set in a lot of ways by 17, and I surely don’t want my D to be the guinea pig. She still wants to see him, she had all these plans for the fall, being to her, her first real Relationship. She put all her happiness eggs in one basket, so she’s depressed. It pains me to see this but they brought it on themselves.
Not sure the OOP Will go through and he was kept in the hospital for 12 days. No social worker of his will talk to me. And the kids say what they know is the right thing. I don’t have a family male, period.
I have you be careful or my D could run off and get married at 17 somewhere. It was a plan, but she’s not talking like that now. Hopefully therapy will help because this time I’m definitely getting someone who is experienced in trauma and can speak to these relationship issues. I will keep posted let me know if you think of anything else thank you
This is the oldest story in the book. "But he's CHANGED!" "But I LOVE him!" "He's a new man!"
Reading this, I just want to vomit. I agree with those who recommended that you just move, far away from this loser who will wind up harming your daughter. Hopefully, she will mature, and realize what she narrowly escaped. She's 16, you can still take her with you.
But please do continue to get her therapy, wherever you wind up, or she may just repeat the pattern, choose another one just like him.
One of the most important things she needs to do, IMO, is get her phone/passwords changed. Him having that kind of control over her and knowledge of her every movement and thought is extremely dangerous - and not only to her but also to you and her sibling.
He won't like it but if somehow you are the one in control of those - her phone # can be changed, any program on it whereby he monitors her location can be deleted - and that is under your control since, I assume, you pay the bill. Talk to your provider about it if you don't know how to delete the program where he can see where she is.
Hopefully one of those groups/organizations in your area that works with battered women will have someone to advise you on that.
I wish you the best in getting this situation under control - your control. It isn't easy, but you sound like you're on top of things.
When I was 16 with a boyfriend my parents didn't like, we planned to run away to Delaware to get married. I sneaked out of the house at 2 am and we headed south. Luckily, I chickened out halfway there and he got me home before my parents wakened.
I had all but forgotten about that as it was over 50 years ago.
She said she was going to work today but she went to see him for 4 hrs and came back to her work. So far I haven’t confronted her because I don’t know what to say or do that will make it better or for her to change. She’s fine with waking out if the house and letting me call the police-she Will ask to go to foster care.
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