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Hello peeps my purpose for this thread is because I have 26 yr old step daughter who lives with us,been married for 5 yrs my wife n I , now I’m old school, but I believe respect for my elders, but the issue here is weird, first off my step daughter walk around in short shorts, spaghetti shirt, cloths are revealing, and the kicker is like I’m not sure if she making a point to her mom but like when I cook for them or do something for them it a competition, she makes remarks to her mom dad made this with love for me an not for you or dad did this special for me. And my wife I’m not sure if it phases her, and like when they are debating step daughter like trying to show I’m siding with her not her mom,,, I’m concern should I be worried about this or I’m just over reacting.. thank you all for any feedback
It could be the daughter is being deliberately flirtatious, which is not good, and it sounds like you are bothered by it, which is also not good.
At any rate, it is her mother who needs to deal with her. She raised her to be immodest, so I don’t hold up much hope, unless the daughter moves out.
You should be discussing your concerns with your wife. If the daughter is being deliberately provocative, mom has noticed. You must show a united front.
Hello peeps my purpose for this thread is because I have 26 yr old step daughter who lives with us,been married for 5 yrs my wife n I , now I’m old school, but I believe respect for my elders, but the issue here is weird, first off my step daughter walk around in short shorts, spaghetti shirt, cloths are revealing, and the kicker is like I’m not sure if she making a point to her mom but like when I cook for them or do something for them it a competition, she makes remarks to her mom dad made this with love for me an not for you or dad did this special for me. And my wife I’m not sure if it phases her, and like when they are debating step daughter like trying to show I’m siding with her not her mom,,, I’m concern should I be worried about this or I’m just over reacting.. thank you all for any feedback
First, any respect for you is not relevant to her clothes. Second, if she's living with you, she should be able to wear what she likes in her own home.
Ann Landers, I believe, used to get these on occasion and blamed the Harvard Frat Boys for them. OP, come back when the story progresses into threesome territory....
Yes you should be concerned that she is almost 30 and still living off mama, time this chica grows up and moves on her own otherwise divorce will be only healthy choice. Hold on to your sanity.
I think you nailed it. All those "likes" coming from the father of a twenty-six year old?? Could be - but it raised red flags for me, as did the rest of the grammar and punctuation errors in this post. Could be authentic, of course, but it's not very typical of someone who's supposedly in their mid to late forties or older.
With this being a long weekend, perhaps some young person decided to indulge in some creative writing to share with C-D.
However, if this IS real: Dad, it's your house and your daughter, so you get to make the house rules. Your daughter is twenty-six, no longer a snarky teenager, though it seems she's now a snarky twenty-something. Does she have a job? Is she still in school? Why does she still live at home? Does she pay her expenses? If not, start there.
Figure out a fair amount to charge her and have her pay you each month. If she can't behave civilly to her stepmother, perhaps all would be happier with her moving out. Could she live with her own mother instead of with you? Get an apartment, perhaps with a friend?
Can't do much about her choice of clothing, but with winter almost here, I expect the short shorts, etc., to vanish for a while unless you're in the deep South.
Whenever you cook something special, perhaps you could bring it to the table while firmly saying "I made this especially for you, sweetheart (insert wife's name). Daughter Dear (insert daughter's name), doesn't this look delicious?"
You are onto your daughter's obvious efforts to get attention - it appears even negative attention. Try giving her some positive attention when everything is on an even keel. If she were a teenager, I'd encourage you to take her to a movie and then get Cokes and fries later - kinda hard to do this these days, with theaters closed and restaurants carry-out and delivery only in many places. But even so, you could snack in the car while talking, though the movie theater will have to wait.
Even though she's well out of her teens, using methods that work with teens may also work with her. Or not, people can be pretty firmly "set" by their mid-twenties, though your daughter sounds remarkably immature. But it's worth a try. So -leave your wife at home (cue her in ahead of time) and take your daughter for a drive in the country, or to a park where you can walk, to see the Christmas lights, and get the snacks later.
Then park the car and talk. Don't be accusatory right off the bat - you want her to open up, not be defensive. Make sure her iPad or whatever stays at home, or she'll probably text the entire time.
Good luck.
And - if this is a fake, knock it off. We don't have time for that here.
Thank you all for your response I really do appreciate it some of you I’ll be nice and not say anything ugly. But here’s a quick question , if you were allowed to move in with a friend or family even though you may pay a little bit of money here and there to help with bills do you really believe that you have a right to walk around dress inappropriately. especially around the opposite sex . And if I was the wife and my adult child is wear skimpy night shorts walks around in front of my man those are red flags, but my wife doesn’t say anything
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