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Old 01-30-2021, 05:23 PM
26 posts, read 7,741 times
Reputation: 74


Originally Posted by WorldKlas View Post
Can she do any local volunteer work? She may not make friends her own age, but it would help with loneliness.
Depends. I spent a lot of time volunteering and doing stuff like that and it kept me busy but never helped with the loneliness.

Most times I was around people who were much older or much younger than me and I was always bored and felt surrounded by people yet still alone at the same time because I couldn’t relate to anyone.
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Old 01-31-2021, 01:12 AM
263 posts, read 95,373 times
Reputation: 486
Originally Posted by Kristinas_Cap View Post
Hi, looking for some advice on this situation:

I have an almost 12 year old who started middle school back in September in a new area so my child does not know anyone and is a little socially awkward. We had assumed that once she started the school year she could join clubs or activities at the school since she isn't really into "league" sports. Some of the things we discussed were track and field, volleyball, or a home-economics type club (cooking, sewing so forth) Unfortunately, due to the pandemic, all clubs and sports within the school have been cancelled and the entire school has been on 100% virtual instruction for quite some time. When they eventually do go back, it will only be a half-day and no lunch. So as you can see, this clearly prevents my child from forming any social bonds at a time in your childhood where you start finding yourself and being your own person.

My child appears to be lonely. She has no friends. At all. She has a younger sibling, but they are too far apart in age to be "friends". There are absolutely no kids on our block. We are surrounded by either childless couples, empty nesters, or newly-weds. There are no kids who even pass our house. There are no recreation fields or parks near our house The only thing she can really do is go in the backyard by herself and listen to music. I see her outside all the time to get away from being inside all day but she looks so lonely. I would like to get her to socialize with girls (or even boys) her age or close to her age but I have no idea how. She met one girl in her grade over the summer before school started and they have each others phone number, but the girl told my daughter that her mother does not want any get-togethers due to coronavirus when they tried to make plans.

I do know that kids her age are getting together (apparently there was a big middle school party for New Years Eve and a bunch of kids tested positive for COVID) but I just don't know where or how to even make that happen. I am not looking for a massive friends list, just one or two good friends she can bond with. I do not really know any parents either - but at her age the parents don't really make play dates - it is really up to the kids, right? I feel if this pandemic wasn't a thing it would be much easier for her to make friends or at least have some kind of social life, so in the meantime I am open to suggestions. I lie awake at night worrying about her. Thanks!
While my daughter struggled to make friends at school it really helped that she was a part of online forums for kids. She at least had friends; kids she connected with daily.

I'd hear her giggling while chatting. It was fun for her despite the loneliness she experienced at school. She'd hurry through homework then check in with her online friends every afternoon/evening. They'd check in with one another throughout weekends too. She had the feeling of belonging. It gave her something to look forward to each day.

Back then she was a part of the "Wolf Quest " video game forum and "Warrior Cats" book series forum. She created an avatar and maintained some of these friendships for years. She at least felt connected to and included by the kids on these chat forums.
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Old 01-31-2021, 02:43 AM
275 posts, read 62,850 times
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The children of that age cope up with their social life on social media as well. Encourage her to contact her old friends online it can also help her until her schools are open again. It is sad that kids activities are so limited in the house but having a stroll around the house can also help. My kids go around the streets around the house and talk to the other children.
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Old 02-01-2021, 08:29 AM
Location: USA
1,434 posts, read 473,040 times
Reputation: 3864
Animals can be a great comfort, especially to girls that age. Are there stables where she can volunteer to help with the horses? Brush them down? Walk and exercise? Feed them? How about animal shelters or rescues? Many need volunteers to help walk the dogs or hold new puppies.
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Old 02-03-2021, 05:37 PM
Location: NYC
15,915 posts, read 23,672,316 times
Reputation: 24359
Do you have a school directory? When we moved (not in a pandemic) I reached out to all the parents saying we were new and hoping for a play date. Perhaps try this?
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Old 02-04-2021, 09:01 PM
18,518 posts, read 9,011,899 times
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Does she have a phone? They connect through social media. Even the local friend whose parents don't want play groups.

And as much as you might not like it, there are online video games. Don't know what are the games for that age group. Roblox? Or maybe that's younger.

There have been some other good suggestions from the previous posters. Our church has some volunteer activities where they socially distance.

And take advantage of it for parent-child bonding. She will soon be a teenager and probably will distance herself.
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