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Old 01-26-2021, 10:07 PM
 
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I have young ones, baby + toddler. If I'm having a bad day, just spending some time with them really helps. They are so happy, so carefree, so stress less. They just enjoy life and just want to be with you. Play play play

Does this feeling ever stop? I would guess by the time kids are teenagers this immediate uplift of joy they provide is gone? lol...
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Old 01-27-2021, 03:08 AM
Status: "Only the most loved have a place on my cap" (set 10 days ago)
 
1,007 posts, read 289,708 times
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There are certainly ups and downs along the way and everyone develops their own personality but from my experience, my almost 12 year old provides me joy when I see her succeed and her accomplishments. I no longer have to care for her the way I did when she was 4, but watching her grow into her own person and guiding her through difficult years is wonderful and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
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Old 01-27-2021, 05:05 AM
 
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It evolves...and sometimes stretches between periods of "what was I thinking!".

I can still recall my eldest in senior year. Standing tall at the podium, giving his portion of a debate dialogue. Suddenly I became aware that he was a YOUNG MAN. Capable of so very much. It was bittersweet. Filled with much pride and joy for him. Then came the reality that He absolutely didn't need me anymore. He had already flown the nest and taken off ...all while in my heart he was my son.

Its come full circle in some ways.....Now he has children and suddenly he and I can share notes on how he is succeeding or bonding with his children. I often listen and nod. Knowing full well He doesn't need me to guide him, but it sure is nice that he confides in those parenting moments of concern. Thats the joy in a different way....mature and welcoming all the same.
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Old 01-27-2021, 06:00 AM
 
263 posts, read 95,373 times
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My nine year old's energy/attitude lights up a room. At age 13 school social pressures negatively affected by daughter's self esteem/mood. She lost her child like joy/happiness. It was replaced with middle school social, appearance, and competitive sport concerns/worries.

Their stressful school social lives will at times be heartbreaking for both of you to experience. It may bring you sadness watching them struggle with pressures.

This is the reason I chose to homeschool my youngest. So far his self esteem is intact. He's a happy child compared to his sister who at his age attended school.

School social pressures, this "pecking order", " Lord Of The Flies" experience forever changed my daughter. Stold her joy and broke my heart to watch. As a tall, thin, pretty, intelligent 13 year old, she lost all self confidence and became shy. As a result was often excluded, it was a vicious cycle. Her self worth became dependent on acceptance into school cliques.

Until middle school you'll see and feel their pure, child like joy. After that it's a roller coaster, esp through hormonal changes.

Baby and toddler hood are the sweetest, most innocent and carefree (for both of you) times. Prepare to assist your children through the bumps of school and all that come with it.

If you want to preserve their self esteem, I recommend homeschooling. You can still immerse them in the world many other ways. It just removes the horrible pecking order that exists in classrooms of same age peers. People also like Montessori type schools, kids socialize with all age groups. It's less competitive, easier on their self esteem, less comparison within a mixed age peer group.

If you want to preserve their child like joy carefully choose preschool, day care, and school. Poor choices can affect their self esteem. Unfortunately kids place more value on and are influenced by their peer group more than their parents.

As a small child you can help give them the best self-esteem. But once they start school acceptance/non acceptance with peers becomes the most important thing in their lives.

Google the benefits of homeschooling. It takes the unnecessary pressure of needing to be accepted within a large group of same age peers off the table from age 5 to 18. Homeschooled kids are better adjusted, have higher self esteems, better communication skills among all age groups, better adjusted entering college. Less apt to cave in to peer pressure etc.

It's ironic I found your post. Yesterday I looked through my kid's pictures spanning their lives. I saw my daughter's loss of childhood joy and eventual sadness. Made me regret not homeschooling her when she begged us to do so at age 13. We kept her in school thinking things would improve and she needed to be with peers.
She's now a sometimes depressed, withdrawn adult who never overcame this loss of self esteem as a child combined with military moves that made it difficult to make new friends and fit in. We discussed her loss of childhood joy at length after looking at those pics and agreed homeschooling would have helped retain it.
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Old 01-27-2021, 08:15 AM
 
1,516 posts, read 418,745 times
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I think that's great that you enjoy playing with your kids so much. My kids are 4 and 6 now and I can recall it being very difficult at times when they were 1 and 3. Yes they were carefree and happy but I found myself bored playing with them and chasing after them. My 3 year old was pretty wild. I enjoy things now with them more I think because we can sit and color together, do a puzzle, or read books. I feel kind of guilty that I didn't enjoy the years I found harder more. Not to say that it isn't hard at times now especially with them being home much more this year due to the pandemic. I am certain it will get harder. They'll want to be doing more with friends.
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Old 01-27-2021, 10:22 AM
 
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That feeling never stopped for me. My "kid" is in her mid 20s now.

Every age has it's joys and drudgery. The fun and the frustrations. Yes, of course toddlers are more "childlike", because well, they're children. Growing up and figuring out the world doesn't make them worse to be around. I loved that part - the more my child grew up the more we related as real people, and it was awesome watching her discover how to navigate the world. Still is.

I do know parents who never get over that their child has grown, and is now a smart little person who can do things for themselves. They hate that their kid isn't 100% dependent on them. I always knew that would not be me.

And as for the long post above about how public school destroys children's self esteem - Please know that experiences may vary. Their experience, their child's experience, is nothing like my family's.
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Old 01-27-2021, 10:40 AM
Status: "Enjoying the winter" (set 24 days ago)
 
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, originally from SF Bay Area
34,062 posts, read 61,944,958 times
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Our experience with our 3 kids was the same as Withinpines, age 13-14. That was when there was a lot of peer pressure, more arguing, and emotional issues. Just wait though, when they start having kids you can enjoy watching them go through what you did with them. Our grandkids are still young, but getting there in a few years.
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Old 01-27-2021, 01:01 PM
 
30,426 posts, read 36,829,016 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unknown00 View Post
I have young ones, baby + toddler. If I'm having a bad day, just spending some time with them really helps. They are so happy, so carefree, so stress less. They just enjoy life and just want to be with you. Play play play

Does this feeling ever stop? I would guess by the time kids are teenagers this immediate uplift of joy they provide is gone? lol...
My son is 27. There is still no state of happiness/peace/calm that exceeds the state that I achieve, when I see him.
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Old 01-27-2021, 02:00 PM
Status: "Joy cometh in the morning" (set 16 days ago)
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
20,784 posts, read 26,065,089 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
My son is 27. There is still no state of happiness/peace/calm that exceeds the state that I achieve, when I see him.
This! 1000x over.
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Old 01-28-2021, 08:27 AM
 
Location: Shawnee-on-Delaware, PA
4,948 posts, read 4,405,602 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unknown00 View Post

Does this feeling ever stop? I would guess by the time kids are teenagers this immediate uplift of joy they provide is gone? lol...
Of course most parents will say the joy stops when they are teenagers. But really, like the legend of bears hibernating all winter, the joy they used to bring just takes a series of short breaks.

By the time your kids are in their 20's you can hold real conversations with them about real topics and the joy is back 100% of the time.
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