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Old 02-10-2021, 04:24 PM
 
22,571 posts, read 6,166,390 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristinas_Cap View Post
It's very important to keep their alcohol tolerance extremely low so that when they go off to college they get drunk after a beer.

Anyway it's not something that would be wise to advertise if you do because you will become a news story and subject to life altering consequences.
I doubt people who give their 20 year old a beer in their home would wind up on the news since its perfectly legal in Texas.
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Old 02-10-2021, 05:27 PM
 
12,252 posts, read 3,622,017 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
I would, for special occasions. Like...Thanksgiving dinner, or a New Year's toast. And only MY children. It would NOT apply to friends of my children.
Agree 100%. If they have anything happen because of it, you are liable.
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Old 02-10-2021, 05:33 PM
 
Location: Tyler, TX, born + raised SF Bay
4,592 posts, read 1,802,990 times
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I’m not so focused on the “legal” part of this.

My wife and I agreed early on that when they got to something like party age, we would allow them to consume alcohol and weed IN OUR HOUSE. Under our supervision. Invite your friends over, have a nice time, we’ll do something else and let you do you. Nobody’s gonna be driving anywhere, and we absolutely will not tolerate abuse of the substances.

That in exchange for “don’t do this anywhere else, and if you do, remember that we modeled some responsible use. Irresponsible use is subject to some harsh parental behavior”.

Or, something like that.

Now, were it legal, I think my ol’ lady and I would have to conference a bit. I doubt either of us would even bother putting a prohibition on it, but we would most likely agree to follow something similar to the above model.
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Old 02-10-2021, 05:44 PM
 
13,756 posts, read 22,669,362 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jcp123 View Post
I’m not so focused on the “legal” part of this.

My wife and I agreed early on that when they got to something like party age, we would allow them to consume alcohol and weed IN OUR HOUSE. Under our supervision. Invite your friends over, have a nice time, we’ll do something else and let you do you. Nobody’s gonna be driving anywhere, and we absolutely will not tolerate abuse of the substances.

That in exchange for “don’t do this anywhere else, and if you do, remember that we modeled some responsible use. Irresponsible use is subject to some harsh parental behavior”.

Or, something like that.

Now, were it legal, I think my ol’ lady and I would have to conference a bit. I doubt either of us would even bother putting a prohibition on it, but we would most likely agree to follow something similar to the above model.
I don't have an issue with you making those choices for your own kids, but did you let the parents of their friends in on the policy?
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Old 02-10-2021, 06:20 PM
 
2,511 posts, read 804,344 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jcp123 View Post
I’m not so focused on the “legal” part of this.

My wife and I agreed early on that when they got to something like party age, we would allow them to consume alcohol and weed IN OUR HOUSE. Under our supervision. Invite your friends over, have a nice time, we’ll do something else and let you do you. Nobody’s gonna be driving anywhere, and we absolutely will not tolerate abuse of the substances.
How would you be monitoring a bunch of 17 year olds to determine abuse or not, when you're doing something else?
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Old 02-10-2021, 06:32 PM
 
30,658 posts, read 36,998,315 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by C24L View Post
I know the national drinking age is 21 but in some states like mine(Texas) parents can give their children alcohol in the privacy of their own home.So would you do that in your house if it was legal in your jurisdiction???I know some people think it will teach their kids to be responsible drinkers but the data and medical studies that i have seen indicates that it increases the likelihood of them becoming alcoholics.Also i know some people let their little kids have sips of beer or wine but no more than that untill they are teenagers or 20.Thanks in advance.
No.
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Old 02-10-2021, 06:40 PM
 
2,511 posts, read 804,344 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by C24L View Post
the data and medical studies that i have seen indicates that it increases the likelihood of them becoming alcoholics.
I'd like to see which "studies" you're looking at.

I dove into a few studies (addiction is an issue I have had to navigate as a family member, not myself) and many of them don't really conclude with what they might appear to at first.
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Old 02-10-2021, 07:19 PM
 
22,571 posts, read 6,166,390 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KemBro71 View Post
I'd like to see which "studies" you're looking at.

I dove into a few studies (addiction is an issue I have had to navigate as a family member, not myself) and many of them don't really conclude with what they might appear to at first.
.....i was just googling stuff and sites about addiction said that it increases likelihood of being a drunk later in life.
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Old 02-10-2021, 07:46 PM
 
Location: Fayetteville NC
6,135 posts, read 6,032,542 times
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I don't generally have alcohol in the home. Alcoholism runs in both sides of the family. My ex is a wine drinker but to my knowledge he did not pour for our kids. They may have been allowed some wine at family events after they turned 18 or so.

We had a rule in our house that my kids could call me any time from any where and I would come get them, no questions asked, no repercussions. That was so they never drove drunk. They never had to call. I believe Uber was used a couple of times.

Once when my youngest was 17 she drank a case of white claw I had bought for a camping trip after I went to bed and got sick as a dog. She woke me up crying and vomiting and filled with regret. I said "Did you learn the lesson you needed to learn?" and tried really really hard not to laugh my fool head off. She said it was because she wanted to know what it was like to be drunk when she was home safe.

Last year I bought liquor for my youngest for a fraternity event where she was expected to bring something. To me it was like buying shoes or a dress for an event. She didn't have to drink it, she just had to bring it. She's been honest with me about when she's been hung over and we talk about the consequences. She is now 20 and is less likely to drink excessively. She's learning to stop after one or two because she doesn't like the way she feels the next day. She is making plans for her 21st birthday but has invited me along, so I must be the cool mom!

My oldest told me last week she doesn't get the need to drink until you get sick so I guess at 23 she has figured it out for herself. She is more likely to smoke pot for her anxiety.

I don't know if I always made the right decisions, but right now I think we're in a good place. I don't envision either of them having a problem with substance abuse.
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Old 02-11-2021, 04:47 AM
 
14,067 posts, read 11,483,250 times
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It's an open secret that just about any fruit juice can ferment if you leave it sitting out. Not just grape juice. "Alcoholic beverages" are not some sort of mystic category of drinks that parents or the government can truly regulate. They are simply a natural endpoint when nature takes its course with a few naturally occurring yeast cells from the environment landing in sugar-containing fruit juices. I accidentally made my first drink when I was about 13 years old by abandoning a cup of apple juice for a few weeks. I could taste the alcohol!
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