U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-15-2021, 10:01 AM
 
14,492 posts, read 9,203,349 times
Reputation: 28940

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by flyingsaucermom View Post
We set boundaries.

-Open door
-Checking in every half hour
-Messages to parents every hour
Ok... So then what was the problem with the parents agreeing to these expectations while THEIR daughter is at your house?
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-15-2021, 10:02 AM
 
3,656 posts, read 1,298,561 times
Reputation: 9483
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00 View Post
I'm just trying to figure out why a bunch of 14 year olds are being dropped off at the grocery store. Why the grocery store? Are they responsible for each of their families shopping? Grocery stores are not a hang out place for kids. It seems obnoxious for the store employees and customers to have to deal with a bunch of kids running around the store.

Otherwise, it seems like the OP is taking things way to personally. I'm sure the girl's parents would want to meet the parents of any boy she was dating. There is nothing "dirty" or wrong about her parents wanting to know the parents of those she spends time with and knowing whose house she will be spending time with.
But if the parents wanted to meet OP so badly, why not stick around until OP got home?
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-15-2021, 10:33 AM
 
14,492 posts, read 9,203,349 times
Reputation: 28940
Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144 View Post
But if the parents wanted to meet OP so badly, why not stick around until OP got home?
Like the OP, maybe they too had other things that needed to be done that day and were not able to wait around for an unknown amount of time so decided to call instead.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-15-2021, 12:26 PM
 
Location: planet earth
8,091 posts, read 3,515,264 times
Reputation: 18048
Your report and interaction with the mom sounds a little middle school dramatic to me . . .
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-15-2021, 12:31 PM
 
Location: Portal to the Pacific
7,046 posts, read 6,363,099 times
Reputation: 9551
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
Your report and interaction with the mom sounds a little middle school dramatic to me . . .
The interaction was triggering for me. I don't interact much with adults outside of rote conversations like ordering coffee or having an appliance repaired. I don't have "mom friends". My favorite people are those that are much older and done with this stage of life.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-15-2021, 12:32 PM
 
Location: Vermont
2,948 posts, read 1,022,038 times
Reputation: 4437
I think the OP has a much different 'parenting style' then the "uppity, Type A, managerial type" parents of her son's girlfriend.
I also think 14 is too young to have a 'one on one' over at my house relationship, but I am a bit old fashioned.

Sounds like she would have taken a completely hands off approach, which I don't agree with, but hey, it's her kid. And a boy no less, who makes a disrespectful comment about the handholding request from her parents and the mother thinks it's humorous. Oh well.

Back in the day, I didn't go out with anyone solo unless my father had met and talked to both him and his parents. Period. And guys with vans were out of the question!! LOL
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-15-2021, 12:47 PM
 
Location: Portal to the Pacific
7,046 posts, read 6,363,099 times
Reputation: 9551
Quote:
Originally Posted by Riley. View Post
I think the OP has a much different 'parenting style' then the "uppity, Type A, managerial type" parents of her son's girlfriend.
I also think 14 is too young to have a 'one on one' over at my house relationship, but I am a bit old fashioned.

Sounds like she would have taken a completely hands off approach, which I don't agree with, but hey, it's her kid. And a boy no less, who makes a disrespectful comment about the handholding request from her parents and the mother thinks it's humorous. Oh well.

Back in the day, I didn't go out with anyone solo unless my father had met and talked to both him and his parents. Period. And guys with vans were out of the question!! LOL
I said in the beginning that times are different now. And they were different for my parents (Boomers). I've been a lot more interactive with my kids and concerned about areas of development in ways that my boomer parents weren't. This is not to say they were wrong, but as a collective parents today simply have more education and knowledge of growth and development than in previous generations.

It would be incredibly inaccurate to say I take a "completely hands off approach"... not when I bake a cake, clear my schedule (except for the dying dog... which did die overnight BTW...) and put on matching socks in the event that the mom might accept my invitation to come inside (had she come to the door).

My son and I are becoming friends. The mommy stage is over. He doesn't want that anymore. He wants someone who he can be honest and real with. He wants a safe judgement-free environment where he can vent. Sometimes opportunities are created where I can guide him too. But no getting around the fact that he's arriving at independence earlier than most kids. He's been consistent like that all his life. He reached developmental milestones very early... sometimes that's the way it is...
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-15-2021, 02:32 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
88,000 posts, read 81,878,462 times
Reputation: 92036
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zoisite View Post
I
The father most likely told those two 14 y.o. children to stop holding hands in the grocery store because that's what he's required to do because those are the Covid 19 restrictions in stores and in other public places. NO PHYSICAL CONTACT of any kind with other people.

Don't you and your son know anything about what the social distancing regulations and correct social behaviour are in public places during a pandemic?

.
I'm glad someone brought this up. Neither set of parents apparently are concerned that their kids could pick up the virus while out and about hanging out with friends, and bring it back home, not to mention the socializing in stores as a group, with apparently no regard for other patrons. But if the schools are open, maybe the OP lives in an area with fewer restrictions...?
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-15-2021, 02:54 PM
 
Location: Portal to the Pacific
7,046 posts, read 6,363,099 times
Reputation: 9551
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
I'm glad someone brought this up. Neither set of parents apparently are concerned that their kids could pick up the virus while out and about hanging out with friends, and bring it back home, not to mention the socializing in stores as a group, with apparently no regard for other patrons. But if the schools are open, maybe the OP lives in an area with fewer restrictions...?
Ruth, do you have teenagers? Have you had any in recent years?

Maybe there are a few concerned parents keeping their teens home under lock and key, but that's clearly not the norm in my upper middle class neighborhood. Though I would be willing to bet there are parents that make statements like yours, with a virtuous tone, that nonetheless routinely let their kids out.. only with their "pods" of course...

Because that's the managerial class's way of making teenage social gathering okay...

So, let me be the virtuous, upper middle class mommy and say that my brilliant well-behaved children gather with their pods on occasion.

Does that sound better?

And the fact is... it's true. They do only gather with the same group of kids.

One kid has a pod of 4 and the other has a pod of about 15. Total. As in, this is the maximum amount of kids they've hung out with in a year.

On the other hand... my son plays elite soccer and his team has 25 kids on it... and they've started competing so he's coming into physical contact with another 11 boys, from a completely different geographic location, each week now.

Up to you which activity is more risky.

Inslee, under the guidance of WA public health, allows for both sitting outside and competitive sports. I guess you could say that our governor has not regard for others...
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-15-2021, 03:42 PM
 
Location: Dallas, TX and Las Vegas, NV
6,836 posts, read 5,713,861 times
Reputation: 15389
71 year old Grandma here. Sooooo....... when I was raising my (girl-crazy his whole life from age 5 on) son I had a couple of rules about friends, both girls and guys. Any kid (guy, never girls) who spent the night or any kid that my son slept over his house, I had to meet the parents. Any special girlfriend, I had to meet the parents at least once — usually on a doorstep or in the driveway. Kids in the house visiting meant no girls ever in a room with a closed door and I would be very visible when they visited. No girls allowed in the house if I was not present. If other parents had rules — well those were their rules and they had no right to impose them on me. We didn’t text then, but I certainly wouldn’t have agreed to send check in texts to parents with a daughter visiting my house. Sure, if a parent had texted me just to verify I was home and all was calm, I would have been fine with that. But nobody has the right to determine how you manage visitors in your home. They can ask what your rules are and if you stay home and check on the young people and decide if your home is a safe place for their kid...that’s it.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2021, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top