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Old 02-18-2021, 08:50 PM
 
129 posts, read 106,447 times
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Not sure what you are getting at with the monetary value of the real estate... I never implied your neighborhood wasn’t safe. I brought up my situation to illustrate that it is ok to answer parent/guardian questions to make people feel comfortable.

Oh goodness. Not a day. I have a couple of glasses of wine Friday and Saturday nights after a long week. The sleepover was on a weekend night and I obviously would not have any alcohol while responsible for other people’s children. I will not engage with you any more but if you act like this in real life I am guessing your reputation precedes you. Best of luck!
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Old 02-18-2021, 09:04 PM
 
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OP, I hope the doggie waits until owners get back before dying. I can't imagine not being there for my fur baby. Must be so difficult for you.

I was much more protective of my daughter than my son during high school. However, I would suggest your son spends more time at her house - putting the burden on her parents.
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Old 02-18-2021, 09:57 PM
 
Location: Portal to the Pacific
7,106 posts, read 6,412,368 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by andherewego View Post
Not sure what you are getting at with the monetary value of the real estate... I never implied your neighborhood wasn’t safe. I brought up my situation to illustrate that it is ok to answer parent/guardian questions to make people feel comfortable.

Oh goodness. Not a day. I have a couple of glasses of wine Friday and Saturday nights after a long week. The sleepover was on a weekend night and I obviously would not have any alcohol while responsible for other people’s children. I will not engage with you any more but if you act like this in real life I am guessing your reputation precedes you. Best of luck!
Thank God....
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Old 02-18-2021, 10:24 PM
 
Location: Portal to the Pacific
7,106 posts, read 6,412,368 times
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Originally Posted by YorktownGal View Post
OP, I hope the doggie waits until owners get back before dying. I can't imagine not being there for my fur baby. Must be so difficult for you.

I was much more protective of my daughter than my son during high school. However, I would suggest your son spends more time at her house - putting the burden on her parents.
Doggy died that night. Using bolsters to prop him up I spoon fed him a slurry of water and wet food. Then I put him back in his sweater and left him loosely wrapped on his daytime sleeping area (I just knew kenneling them was not going to work out that night) ... next morning he was in the same position I left him with his buddy still asleep beside him. Gave him a little rub, told him he did good, and then called the owners...

I didn't mind managing the transition, but I was relieved when it was completed. I've been in a few situations where there was suffering and needed intervention/euthanasia (spring 2016, summer 2016 and summer 2019). This was my first "natural" death.


The girlfriend came over again yesterday... I even went to pick her up! I offered the mom saying, "Hey! I think the kids are planning to get together later, I'm happy to help with rides!".

I'm treating the "kids" as "good friends".

Good friends that need special supervision...
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Old 02-19-2021, 01:21 AM
 
1,960 posts, read 1,955,022 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flyingsaucermom View Post
I said in the beginning that times are different now. And they were different for my parents (Boomers). I've been a lot more interactive with my kids and concerned about areas of development in ways that my boomer parents weren't. This is not to say they were wrong, but as a collective parents today simply have more education and knowledge of growth and development than in previous generations.

It would be incredibly inaccurate to say I take a "completely hands off approach"... not when I bake a cake, clear my schedule (except for the dying dog... which did die overnight BTW...) and put on matching socks in the event that the mom might accept my invitation to come inside (had she come to the door).

My son and I are becoming friends. The mommy stage is over. He doesn't want that anymore. He wants someone who he can be honest and real with. He wants a safe judgement-free environment where he can vent. Sometimes opportunities are created where I can guide him too. But no getting around the fact that he's arriving at independence earlier than most kids. He's been consistent like that all his life. He reached developmental milestones very early... sometimes that's the way it is...
Hm, I always find the “friends” statements about parent/child(ren) to be an odd one. You’re his parent. He has friends based on what you’ve relayed. I have, and have always had, a very open relationship with my parents. We were raised to feel comfortable discussing anything and everything with them. They may have silently judged but never vocalize to me in a way where I felt they were doing so. I think my sister would probably agree with me on this as well.

But I also knew how to disclose my feelings appropriately. If I made statements like your son my parents would have corrected me. Being open doesn’t equate with no filter. Part of growing up is to learn how to express oneself without being overtly rude. Your sons reaction and resulting commentary was rude. You didn’t offer correction or even an alternative to what he perceived the dads reaction to be. Play Devil’s advocate, teach your son to see outside the box and to consider the thoughts and feelings of others.

I enjoy spending time with my parents, both collectively and individually, but end of day they’re Mom and Dad. And I’m 44 with parents in their mid-60s, retired, and in great health. We’re not friends.

Speaking towards the 2 14 year olds being bf/gf that bothers me as well. My parents weren’t over bearing but there were firm rules and expectations. One of those was no dating until 16. I think I can understand the parents reticence about where their daughter is and who she is with, especially if they have some reservations about her forming a relationship at a young age. Both kids have a long way to go yet in their teen years. Enjoy your “elite soccer” and your “upper middle class neighborhood”. Be a kid.

I think dad may be less concerned about COVID transmission than he is with what he finds comfortable and appropriate in regards to his 14 year old.

My older nephew is 15. He plays several sports, does very well in school, has a circle of friends that are kind and respectful boys. They all hopped on XBox 2 weeks ago with my SO to sing happy birthday to me. They’re those kind of nice kids.

Far as we can see, girls aren’t on their radar yet to socialize with outside of school at this point. I’m guessing the pandemic plays into that as well. My sister and younger nephew are immune compromised. She’s diligent about keeping her household safe as possible.
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Old 02-19-2021, 06:55 AM
 
Location: OH->FL->NJ
13,555 posts, read 9,786,292 times
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I understand the parents to a degree but they seem to be the over protective types whose daughter is going to end up being a pron actress once mommy and daddy cant ground her when she is 18.

Sarcastic me would be hard pressed to not go nuclear sarcastic and ask if midgets and livestock were okay for the upcoming orgy.
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Old 02-19-2021, 08:50 AM
 
18,727 posts, read 16,686,437 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flyingsaucermom View Post
and they were holding hands in the grocery store and her dad told them to stop and my son was like, "yep, because we all know that holding hands in the produce section automatically leads to pregnancy. In fact, I probably can't look at her in case there is something called eye sperm"

Quote:
I hope they eventually realize how great he is.
Oh yeah. Such a great guy.
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Old 02-19-2021, 10:49 AM
 
Location: Portal to the Pacific
7,106 posts, read 6,412,368 times
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Originally Posted by charmed hour View Post
Hm, I always find the “friends” statements about parent/child(ren) to be an odd one. You’re his parent. He has friends based on what you’ve relayed. I have, and have always had, a very open relationship with my parents. We were raised to feel comfortable discussing anything and everything with them. They may have silently judged but never vocalize to me in a way where I felt they were doing so. I think my sister would probably agree with me on this as well.

But I also knew how to disclose my feelings appropriately. If I made statements like your son my parents would have corrected me. Being open doesn’t equate with no filter. Part of growing up is to learn how to express oneself without being overtly rude. Your sons reaction and resulting commentary was rude. You didn’t offer correction or even an alternative to what he perceived the dads reaction to be. Play Devil’s advocate, teach your son to see outside the box and to consider the thoughts and feelings of others.

I enjoy spending time with my parents, both collectively and individually, but end of day they’re Mom and Dad. And I’m 44 with parents in their mid-60s, retired, and in great health. We’re not friends.

Speaking towards the 2 14 year olds being bf/gf that bothers me as well. My parents weren’t over bearing but there were firm rules and expectations. One of those was no dating until 16. I think I can understand the parents reticence about where their daughter is and who she is with, especially if they have some reservations about her forming a relationship at a young age. Both kids have a long way to go yet in their teen years. Enjoy your “elite soccer” and your “upper middle class neighborhood”. Be a kid.

I think dad may be less concerned about COVID transmission than he is with what he finds comfortable and appropriate in regards to his 14 year old.

My older nephew is 15. He plays several sports, does very well in school, has a circle of friends that are kind and respectful boys. They all hopped on XBox 2 weeks ago with my SO to sing happy birthday to me. They’re those kind of nice kids.

Far as we can see, girls aren’t on their radar yet to socialize with outside of school at this point. I’m guessing the pandemic plays into that as well. My sister and younger nephew are immune compromised. She’s diligent about keeping her household safe as possible.
You think I care if the parents said not to date my son? Or if they broke up? Not really...

I wasn't one built for the k-12 dating thing... I was sorta waiting for the roads to marriage and didn't have sex or a boyfriend until I was a few months shy of 19. Even still I stumbled in romance a bit.. but I was engaged then married before I left university.

But guess what? I can pop off a list of 10 couples from my high school graduating class (or within a year of it) that are married. About half were couples through school and the other half rediscovered each other in our 20's and 30's.

With so many real life examples I morally can't automatically impose the value statement of "you're not ready" on him. Now I could say "I am not ready", but I can't tell him he's not ready... Ben and Kay, Don and Bea, Lyn and Chris, Rod and Jen, Tam and Jack... they did it... just like the professional soccer career, I seriously doubt these two young lovebirds get passed 6 months.... but you never know...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaxxrrUXKMo
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Old 02-19-2021, 10:59 AM
 
Location: Portal to the Pacific
7,106 posts, read 6,412,368 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ottomobeale View Post
I understand the parents to a degree but they seem to be the over protective types whose daughter is going to end up being a pron actress once mommy and daddy cant ground her when she is 18.

Sarcastic me would be hard pressed to not go nuclear sarcastic and ask if midgets and livestock were okay for the upcoming orgy.
Oh that is nuclear! I had limited my sarcasm to a single species f- fest in the living room.

The funny part about that is I do have a bunch of livestock equipment currently sitting in my living room... I just got my year's beekeeping equipment... bees are livestock...
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Old 02-19-2021, 02:23 PM
 
18,727 posts, read 16,686,437 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flyingsaucermom View Post
I don't have friends, but I am widely known. Pre-covid I owned a small business in the community that primarily serviced my specific neighborhood. Additionally I wrote articles for the neighborhood newsletter, organized and operated community events and I admin a popular social media group. The family is from an adjacent neighborhood. Same school district and our school boundaries intersect so we send our youngest learners to their neighborhood school. I also frequently worked in their neighborhood too, but I am only active in my neighborhood's social media groups, not theirs.

Two of our four homes are in this neighborhood. They range in the mid-600k's-upper 700k's. The average is probably $850k and we have a handful above $3.5mm mark, so I suppose with each home we're kind of "ghetto" for the place, but the place itself isn't one where you would need to be concerned about safety.

Large and dangerous dogs ("bully" breeds) aren't permitted per HOA rules.

I do have an 8th month old kitten that's pretty terrorizing.

I have no clue or reason why my son is in competitive soccer... I just know he absolutely loves it and that's good enough for me.

Two glasses of wine a day?
And you felt like you needed to skip them because you were going to meet some parents?

You trying to hide something there?

We never had any sort of alcohol in the house growing up, but curiously my mom died of undisclosed alcoholism a year ago. She drank vodka. My sister and I learned that she put it in a water bottle. She used to tell me she was "hydrating". At the time I was so impressed with her self-care. I just never could measure up. Haha! I wish she were around just so I could give her crap about her lies.

Just something to think about.
All I got from this is that the OP has no friends.

Which seems an odd thing to just toss out there.
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