U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Covid-19 Information Page
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old Yesterday, 02:54 PM
 
534 posts, read 168,399 times
Reputation: 751

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by terracore View Post
"Is it better to raise children with the mindset that ANY mood altering substance (alcohol/marijuana, etc) is bad?"
The best form of education is to teach kids the truth.
Truth works for me. Consider other things, better to raise your kids on healthy food or fried food? Soft drinks or water? Exercise or couch potato?

CHD is the number 1 killer

Marijuana studies Ive seen point to stunted brain growth which does not finish till 24.

Long term effects
Rate this post positively

 
Old Yesterday, 03:00 PM
 
Location: Tyler, TX, born + raised SF Bay
4,579 posts, read 1,797,555 times
Reputation: 4083
Quote:
Originally Posted by Parnassia View Post
This is what I would have done if I'd had kids. Teach them that such substances exist, what motivates people to use them during their lives, what "use" is and what "abuse" is and how to tell the difference. Teach them that they'll be exposed to their effects in others, offered them, pressured into trying them, get curious about them. To expect kids to totally reject them out of hand seems unrealistic and unnecessary. In a way, teaching complete abstinence almost relies on instilling fear. Fear of punishment, fear of exposure, fear of rejection, maybe even fear of things that doesn't even exist. Fear certainly can be a motivator, but it isn't always the best motivator. Usually, people who understand a thing well are not afraid of it. Many people use mind altering substances responsibly because they understand the implications. I'd rather teach them that if they decide to use them, do it with a complete understanding of when and why it might be a bad idea. They'll have a better chance of NOT abusing them. IMHO one can also abuse many other things in life if one has never been taught how to use them responsibly. Raise kids so they have useful brains that can process information. Then provide them information. Teach them how to use it to reach their own conclusions.
Are you my wife?! That’s almost the exact same conversation we had/conclusion we came to. I’d rep you, but apparently I already have recently.
Rate this post positively
 
Old Yesterday, 03:09 PM
 
303 posts, read 74,563 times
Reputation: 476
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
You ask a very important question.

I personally feel that the way the world is today, most people need some outside substance to cope with it. The funny thing is the parents know this - many drink or smoke pot or whatever, but then try to teach their kids to be teetotalers . . . it's a lot hypocritical - but the converse is that it would be risky to tell kids: "life sucks so light up," (or have a drink or whatever).

Life is not fun for most people and I frankly do not know how people motivate themselves to perceive life positively in such an ugly, difficult world.
Lets face it, we were lied to by mankind and all his baloney. Life is a struggle , so what. Go to India and see real struggle. There you would be lucky to have toothpaste to afford. 60% of population there live on less than U.S. $2 a day. Here the poor have food insecurity but are obese. They have toothpaste though.
Rate this post positively
 
Old Yesterday, 03:52 PM
 
Location: Texas Hill Country
13,432 posts, read 7,170,245 times
Reputation: 10996
Quote:
Originally Posted by Danbo1957 View Post
Yes. Giving drugs and alcohol to minors is illegal.
Not necessarily for is it not legal for a parent or a spouse to allow children or their under age spouse to drink in their presence?

In any event, in relation to the OP, it is nice to hold such attitudes where the water supply is stable. My parents grew up in regions where beer was prescribed instead of milk, where wine was used because the water supplies were not stable.

Just something to keep in mind.
Rate this post positively
 
Old Yesterday, 04:09 PM
 
608 posts, read 147,438 times
Reputation: 403
Quote:
Originally Posted by Parnassia View Post
This is what I would have done if I'd had kids. Teach them that such substances exist, what motivates people to use them during their lives, what "use" is and what "abuse" is and how to tell the difference. Teach them that they'll be exposed to their effects in others, offered them, pressured into trying them, get curious about them. To expect kids to totally reject them out of hand seems unrealistic and unnecessary. In a way, teaching complete abstinence almost relies on instilling fear. Fear of punishment, fear of exposure, fear of rejection, maybe even fear of things that doesn't even exist. Fear certainly can be a motivator, but it isn't always the best motivator. Usually, people who understand a thing well are not afraid of it. Many people use mind altering substances responsibly because they understand the implications. I'd rather teach them that if they decide to use them, do it with a complete understanding of when and why it might be a bad idea. They'll have a better chance of NOT abusing them. IMHO one can also abuse many other things in life if one has never been taught how to use them responsibly. Raise kids so they have useful brains that can process information. Then provide them information. Teach them how to use it to reach their own conclusions.
So if you personally decided as an adult that the risk wasn’t worth the reward (the feeling)...and that life is better dealt with long term without opening the box of mood alteration (without medical supervision) — would that be a life decision you would see value in passing to the child?
Rate this post positively
 
Old Yesterday, 04:50 PM
 
Location: Sandy Eggo's North County
2,661 posts, read 891,975 times
Reputation: 3647
Kids recognize hypocrisy from a very early age. That's why, it's best to not do that crap at all, when you get the, "mom/dad do this, so can I."
It's not easy to sell the "I CAN do drugs, but you can not" spiel when trying to maintain credibility with a pre-teen.

As you get older, you see what the long term effects of various mind altering substances can do. Not only for length of life, but QUALITY of life. Especially with identical twins...

Since kids learn by watching their parents it's best to avoid that junk in the first place.
Rate this post positively
 
Old Yesterday, 04:59 PM
 
Location: Central IL
18,063 posts, read 11,190,082 times
Reputation: 42824
Quote:
Originally Posted by NORTY FLATZ View Post
Kids recognize hypocrisy from a very early age. That's why, it's best to not do that crap at all, when you get the, "mom/dad do this, so can I."
It's not easy to sell the "I CAN do drugs, but you can not" spiel when trying to maintain credibility with a pre-teen.

As you get older, you see what the long term effects of various mind altering substances can do. Not only for length of life, but QUALITY of life. Especially with identical twins...

Since kids learn by watching their parents it's best to avoid that junk in the first place.
With that logic, does sex work the same way? Sorry moms and pops - once the kids have some awareness, no more sex for YOU! After all, kids having sex is bad news though opinions vary on when it becomes "okay".

But parents should not model having sex because even if it's behind closed doors, kids KNOW. You may think you can model responsible sexual behavior but it's that same thing: "I can have sex, you cannot!".
Rate this post positively
 
Old Yesterday, 05:23 PM
 
608 posts, read 147,438 times
Reputation: 403
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post
With that logic, does sex work the same way? Sorry moms and pops - once the kids have some awareness, no more sex for YOU! After all, kids having sex is bad news though opinions vary on when it becomes "okay".

But parents should not model having sex because even if it's behind closed doors, kids KNOW. You may think you can model responsible sexual behavior but it's that same thing: "I can have sex, you cannot!".
Does this mean if you’re a criminal you can’t tell your kids not to be criminals?
Rate this post positively
 
Old Yesterday, 05:32 PM
 
Location: Tyler, TX, born + raised SF Bay
4,579 posts, read 1,797,555 times
Reputation: 4083
Quote:
Originally Posted by 87Camarottop View Post
Does this mean if you’re a criminal you can’t tell your kids not to be criminals?
No, it means (to me) you shouldn’t deny being a criminal, and instead be frank with them about that period of your life and what it was like. As uncomfortable as it is for me as a father of daughters, I would treat sex the same way. Like radio shack, if they have questions, I’ve got answers. I’m smart enough to know that when they decide to have sex, it will (hopefully) be on their terms and will almost certainly not be on our (wife and I) terms. So load them up with knowledge and experience, hope they can run with it. Trust goes a long way.
Rate this post positively
 
Old Yesterday, 05:33 PM
 
Location: Texas Hill Country
13,432 posts, read 7,170,245 times
Reputation: 10996
It is a big question of what one wants their children to be, both when they make that decision and later on when they have more experience in life. Such as, do we want them like as we were when we were innocent or later in life when we have that experience?
Rate this post positively
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2021, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top