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Old Yesterday, 05:51 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jcp123 View Post
No, it means (to me) you shouldn’t deny being a criminal, and instead be frank with them about that period of your life and what it was like. As uncomfortable as it is for me as a father of daughters, I would treat sex the same way. Like radio shack, if they have questions, I’ve got answers. I’m smart enough to know that when they decide to have sex, it will (hopefully) be on their terms and will almost certainly not be on our (wife and I) terms. So load them up with knowledge and experience, hope they can run with it. Trust goes a long way.
That period? What if you’re a practicing criminal?
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Old Yesterday, 06:14 PM
 
Location: Dessert
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Perhaps explain your reasoning to the kids, so they understand choices and consequences, rather than just tell them "It's BAD!"
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Old Yesterday, 06:19 PM
 
Location: Tyler, TX, born + raised SF Bay
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 87Camarottop View Post
That period? What if you’re a practicing criminal?
Ask Tony Soprano. I don’t have any insight into that. At some point, they’ll know, though. Fessing up is probably better. Maybe.
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Old Yesterday, 06:20 PM
 
608 posts, read 147,438 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by steiconi View Post
Perhaps explain your reasoning to the kids, so they understand choices and consequences, rather than just tell them "It's BAD!"
”it’s bad” is synonymous for guiding them away from mood altering substances as a way of enhancing/dealing with life.
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Old Yesterday, 08:28 PM
 
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I know lots of people over the last 60 years who drink and smoke marijuana and plenty who don't and I never noticed any difference in the way their lives from their 20's to their 70's turned out or the way their kids or grandkids lives turned out whether they drink and/or smoke or not. Like John Lennon said in song, "whatever gets you through the night is alright". I think parents have way less influence over their kids than they think they will. By the time they are in first grade they are already forming their own opinions. Parents teach by example, but the type of person they are and how they treat others is way more important than whether they drink or smoke or don't.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 87Camarottop View Post
If we are to look at our current society head on — people are more depressed, they’re poorer, they’re lonelier, more overweight and they’re consuming alcohol/marijuana/opioids/prescription medicines, etc more than ever.

What void are we attempting to fill? What is it about life that has us reaching out for something to make it better?

Is it simply better to raise children in a manner where their mindset is NOTHING in life can be solved by the act consuming something in an attempt to self medicate?

Is the pleasure worth the potential long term negative sides effects?

My parents had zero tolerance for drugs/alcohol and it seemed to work for me and my sibling (parents did none of it either). .

I of course have friends raised with a completely different attitude — but even for those who say simply drink socially — I don’t really see the long term benefits in their life. Most of them I know would be in MUCH better shape career wise and financially had their small “intoxication” hobby been funneled into more productive endeavors.

With so many potential pitfalls in today’s society — is the totally sober way of life a better way to guide future generations?

On a personal level — I would prefer to raise a child/teen who looks down on anything that is consumed to alter the mind. The type like me who would avoid people and situations where I knew it was a thing. I feel this attitude served me well throughout life and allowed me to be in a very financially stable position at a young age. I feel that had I not been guided in such a direction my life would’ve turned out very differently.

This topic is one I started thinking about while talking finances with a friend of mine. He’s 31 and always works, but a little down about where he is financially. I know that he drinks socially and smokes marijuana. It was just a normal lifestyle to see for him growing up. I didn’t say anything but in my mind I couldn’t help but think of his habits that have been part of his life for well over a decade now. My back of the napkin figuring led me to one conclusion — he would be financially SET right now for LIFE had he not learned to cope with life in this manner.
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Old Yesterday, 08:31 PM
 
3,501 posts, read 3,250,526 times
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It is best to teach children that actions / behaviors have consequences. For mood altering substances the best thing is too show them at impressionable developmental age late childhood early teen etc... the consequences of how people who may engage in some of the activities will end up.

Take a drive through a neighborhood with drug epidemic during a late Sunday morning when they are mostly quiet to see how they live. Take them on a trip to a treatment center for drug addicts of various types, or the transition housing they may live in to show what repeated use does to destroy lives.

Take them to someplace where a former addict who managed to recover speaks to illustrate the depravity some of them went to in the worst of their mind altering need for drugs so they don't just think the peer cool kid who does it or the primary association they have for the activity is not some glamorous view they may get from pop culture and media. .

Show them the science of the human body on some of the various mind altering drugs and what it does (response time cognitive thought etc). Things like Alcohol killing brain cells etc...

Most importantly, as a parent take your children to places in formative years, that stimulate them without the need for mind altering substances. Find out what excites them early that is CONSTRUCTIVE so they have a better avenue to make good mind altering choices. It could be art, crafts, drawing, gardening, horticulture, outdoors activity, science, sports, technology, theater, trades, or working doing something that they can find fulfilling and a sense of accomplishment.
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Old Yesterday, 08:33 PM
 
608 posts, read 147,438 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ciceropolo View Post
It is best to teach children that actions / behaviors have consequences. For mood altering substances the best thing is too show them at impressionable developmental age late childhood early teen etc... the consequences of how people who may engage in some of the activities will end up.

Take a drive through a neighborhood with drug epidemic during a late Sunday morning when they are mostly quiet to see how they live. Take them on a trip to a treatment center for drug addicts of various types, or the transition housing they may live in to show what repeated use does to destroy lives.

Take them to someplace where a former addict who managed to recover speaks to illustrate the depravity some of them went to in the worst of their mind altering need for drugs so they don't just think the peer cool kid who does it or the primary association they have for the activity is not some glamorous view they may get from pop culture and media. .

Show them the science of the human body on some of the various mind altering drugs and what it does (response time cognitive thought etc). Things like Alcohol killing brain cells etc...

Most importantly, as a parent take your children to places in formative years, that stimulate them without the need for mind altering substances. Find out what excites them early that is CONSTRUCTIVE so they have a better avenue to make good mind altering choices. It could be art, crafts, drawing, gardening, horticulture, outdoors activity, science, sports, technology, theater, trades, or working doing something that they can find fulfilling and a sense of accomplishment.
Great reply.
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Old Yesterday, 08:53 PM
 
4,313 posts, read 1,796,375 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 87Camarottop View Post
Great reply.
Then send them to college where everyone is smoking pot and drinking and having sex and listening to great music and having fun and graduating and are doing everything that college students have done for the past 50 years.
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Old Yesterday, 09:03 PM
 
608 posts, read 147,438 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bobspez View Post
Then send them to college where everyone is smoking pot and drinking and having sex and listening to great music and having fun and graduating and are doing everything that college students have done for the past 50 years.
People are individuals. Those with weak character are likely more prone to do everything everyone is doing because everyone is doing it. Might as well rack up a ton of debt, have little savings, get on antidepressants and become 50lbs overweight by 40...I mean everyone else is living it up so why not you?
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Old Yesterday, 09:54 PM
 
Location: Southern MN
8,297 posts, read 4,742,047 times
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Here are a few disjointed thoughts:

We killed God and with him good principles for living. Moreover we don't know how to replace him. Creates a huge moral void and feelings of emptiness. People are body, mind and spirit. Too many believe recognizing spiritual needs means religion and reject the notion. We settle for situational morality.

Studies show that a matter-of-fact attitude about alcohol produce the healthiest kids. Neither forbidden nor overly enthusiastic. My thought is good honest education may be the best.

We are all living in the greatest luxury for the most the world has ever known. The unintended consequences have been to think that success means money, that happiness comes from things rather than from within and from a healthy way of thinking.

Many of us have become dependent on others to dictate what our status is and provide. We fail to learn how to meet our emotional and psychological needs.

The family is increasingly broken and has difficulty raising "whole" people.

And there's that pesky genetic component and population growth to consider.

Addiction is a powerful monster characterized by relapse. Even the most successful programs to treat it so far have not defeated it.
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