U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Covid-19 Information Page
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old Yesterday, 12:09 PM
 
608 posts, read 147,438 times
Reputation: 403

Advertisements

If we are to look at our current society head on — people are more depressed, they’re poorer, they’re lonelier, more overweight and they’re consuming alcohol/marijuana/opioids/prescription medicines, etc more than ever.

What void are we attempting to fill? What is it about life that has us reaching out for something to make it better?

Is it simply better to raise children in a manner where their mindset is NOTHING in life can be solved by the act consuming something in an attempt to self medicate?

Is the pleasure worth the potential long term negative sides effects?

My parents had zero tolerance for drugs/alcohol and it seemed to work for me and my sibling (parents did none of it either). .

I of course have friends raised with a completely different attitude — but even for those who say simply drink socially — I don’t really see the long term benefits in their life. Most of them I know would be in MUCH better shape career wise and financially had their small “intoxication” hobby been funneled into more productive endeavors.

With so many potential pitfalls in today’s society — is the totally sober way of life a better way to guide future generations?

On a personal level — I would prefer to raise a child/teen who looks down on anything that is consumed to alter the mind. The type like me who would avoid people and situations where I knew it was a thing. I feel this attitude served me well throughout life and allowed me to be in a very financially stable position at a young age. I feel that had I not been guided in such a direction my life would’ve turned out very differently.

This topic is one I started thinking about while talking finances with a friend of mine. He’s 31 and always works, but a little down about where he is financially. I know that he drinks socially and smokes marijuana. It was just a normal lifestyle to see for him growing up. I didn’t say anything but in my mind I couldn’t help but think of his habits that have been part of his life for well over a decade now. My back of the napkin figuring led me to one conclusion — he would be financially SET right now for LIFE had he not learned to cope with life in this manner.

Last edited by 87Camarottop; Yesterday at 12:44 PM..
Rate this post positively

 
Old Yesterday, 12:20 PM
 
Location: planet earth
8,126 posts, read 3,524,476 times
Reputation: 18112
Quote:
Originally Posted by 87Camarottop View Post
If we are to look at our current society head on — people are more depressed, they’re poorer, they’re lonelier, more overweight and they’re consuming alcohol/marijuana/opioids/prescription medicines, etc more than ever.

What void are we attempting to fill? What is it about life that has us reaching out for something to make it better?

Is it simply better to raise children in a manner where their mindset is NOTHING in life can be solved by the act consuming something in an attempt to self medicate?

Is the pleasure worth the potential long term negative sides effects?
You ask a very important question.

I personally feel that the way the world is today, most people need some outside substance to cope with it. The funny thing is the parents know this - many drink or smoke pot or whatever, but then try to teach their kids to be teetotalers . . . it's a lot hypocritical - but the converse is that it would be risky to tell kids: "life sucks so light up," (or have a drink or whatever).

Life is not fun for most people and I frankly do not know how people motivate themselves to perceive life positively in such an ugly, difficult world.
Rate this post positively
 
Old Yesterday, 12:20 PM
 
Location: Old Hippie Heaven
22,379 posts, read 10,465,101 times
Reputation: 13936
You are free to raise your kids that way if you want, as I'm sure you know.

Good luck with getting "we" to agree with you. I can emphatically say that Americans don't act as a unitary "we" in ANY subject area whatever.
Rate this post positively
 
Old Yesterday, 12:21 PM
 
Location: San Angelo, TX
2,003 posts, read 3,305,804 times
Reputation: 2467
Yes. Giving drugs and alcohol to minors is illegal.
Rate this post positively
 
Old Yesterday, 12:37 PM
 
Location: Puna, Hawaii
2,548 posts, read 2,681,713 times
Reputation: 3916
"Is it better to raise children with the mindset that ANY mood altering substance (alcohol/marijuana, etc) is bad?"

This is the foundation of the DARE program, which has been demonstrated in many studies to be a failure.

The problem with this approach is that you teach that every drug "will ultimately kill you", every drug is a "gateway to a drug that will kill you", etc produces the outcome that the child does eventually try a "gateway drug" like cannabis, because none of their friends that are using it have died.

So the kids naturally come to the conclusion, "if they lied to me about weed, then they probably lied to me about meth and heroine" so they start dabbling in drugs that can kill them.

The best form of education is to teach kids the truth.
Rate this post positively
 
Old Yesterday, 12:58 PM
 
608 posts, read 147,438 times
Reputation: 403
Quote:
Originally Posted by terracore View Post
"Is it better to raise children with the mindset that ANY mood altering substance (alcohol/marijuana, etc) is bad?"

This is the foundation of the DARE program, which has been demonstrated in many studies to be a failure.

The problem with this approach is that you teach that every drug "will ultimately kill you", every drug is a "gateway to a drug that will kill you", etc produces the outcome that the child does eventually try a "gateway drug" like cannabis, because none of their friends that are using it have died.

So the kids naturally come to the conclusion, "if they lied to me about weed, then they probably lied to me about meth and heroine" so they start dabbling in drugs that can kill them.

The best form of education is to teach kids the truth.
DARE isn’t parenting for 20+ years. I also had DARE at my school and it didn’t have any memorable impact on me...nothing I hadn’t already been told by my parents who to this day I haven’t seen consume any mind altering substance to better cope with life. Not even those fun old drunk stories about a past life.

DARE is kinda like taking an hour or two to educate kids in school about teen pregnancy. As a parent if you’re relying on schools to direct your children...well you might already be failing as a parent.
Rate this post positively
 
Old Yesterday, 01:17 PM
 
2,172 posts, read 732,995 times
Reputation: 1994
Quote:
Originally Posted by 87Camarottop View Post
If we are to look at our current society head on — people are more depressed, they’re poorer, they’re lonelier, more overweight and they’re consuming alcohol/marijuana/opioids/prescription medicines, etc more than ever.

What void are we attempting to fill? What is it about life that has us reaching out for something to make it better?

Is it simply better to raise children in a manner where their mindset is NOTHING in life can be solved by the act consuming something in an attempt to self medicate?

Is the pleasure worth the potential long term negative sides effects?

My parents had zero tolerance for drugs/alcohol and it seemed to work for me and my sibling (parents did none of it either). .

I of course have friends raised with a completely different attitude — but even for those who say simply drink socially — I don’t really see the long term benefits in their life. Most of them I know would be in MUCH better shape career wise and financially had their small “intoxication” hobby been funneled into more productive endeavors.

With so many potential pitfalls in today’s society — is the totally sober way of life a better way to guide future generations?

On a personal level — I would prefer to raise a child/teen who looks down on anything that is consumed to alter the mind. The type like me who would avoid people and situations where I knew it was a thing. I feel this attitude served me well throughout life and allowed me to be in a very financially stable position at a young age. I feel that had I not been guided in such a direction my life would’ve turned out very differently.

This topic is one I started thinking about while talking finances with a friend of mine. He’s 31 and always works, but a little down about where he is financially. I know that he drinks socially and smokes marijuana. It was just a normal lifestyle to see for him growing up. I didn’t say anything but in my mind I couldn’t help but think of his habits that have been part of his life for well over a decade now. My back of the napkin figuring led me to one conclusion — he would be financially SET right now for LIFE had he not learned to cope with life in this manner.
I don't think there is a template that can be applied to raising kids - too many variables. However, I can tell you what has worked for me.

If my daughter inquired about sex, alcohol, drugs, my past, etc., I told her the truth. She was never denied access to information that she would use to make life's choices, with some consideration to age-appropriateness. Of course, I had to trust her to use this information wisely. I advised her that the consequences would be her own - that Daddy would not rescue her.

The end result is that just a few weeks from age 21, and despite having very few restrictions from me, she chooses to focus on work and education. She manages her time wisely. She does not party. She does not drink or do drugs. Sex is her business as long as she doesn't have it in my home. Sometimes she talks like a sailor when she is overwhelmed, but I can live with that.
Rate this post positively
 
Old Yesterday, 01:56 PM
 
23,390 posts, read 13,446,781 times
Reputation: 24384
It's better, if possible, to raise strong individuals who are able to contend with the world by control of their own minds and moods without the need for external substances.
Rate this post positively
 
Old Yesterday, 02:03 PM
 
Location: Tyler, TX, born + raised SF Bay
4,579 posts, read 1,797,555 times
Reputation: 4083
Bad? Maybe, maybe not. I would prefer to raise individuals to understand that anything in excess is bad - including legal drugs like sugar, caffeine, or alcohol. My wife and I are fairly lenient towards alcohol and weed, so we would likely be OK with some responsible use under our roof, but anything much harder wouldn’t be met kindly. Mushrooms might be the only other exception to being harsh.
Rate this post positively
 
Old Yesterday, 02:20 PM
 
Location: on the wind
13,040 posts, read 6,567,584 times
Reputation: 42978
Quote:
Originally Posted by jcp123 View Post
Bad? Maybe, maybe not. I would prefer to raise individuals to understand that anything in excess is bad - including legal drugs like sugar, caffeine, or alcohol. My wife and I are fairly lenient towards alcohol and weed, so we would likely be OK with some responsible use under our roof, but anything much harder wouldn’t be met kindly. Mushrooms might be the only other exception to being harsh.
This is what I would have done if I'd had kids. Teach them that such substances exist, what motivates people to use them during their lives, what "use" is and what "abuse" is and how to tell the difference. Teach them that they'll be exposed to their effects in others, offered them, pressured into trying them, get curious about them. To expect kids to totally reject them out of hand seems unrealistic and unnecessary. In a way, teaching complete abstinence almost relies on instilling fear. Fear of punishment, fear of exposure, fear of rejection, maybe even fear of things that doesn't even exist. Fear certainly can be a motivator, but it isn't always the best motivator. Usually, people who understand a thing well are not afraid of it. Many people use mind altering substances responsibly because they understand the implications. I'd rather teach them that if they decide to use them, do it with a complete understanding of when and why it might be a bad idea. They'll have a better chance of NOT abusing them. IMHO one can also abuse many other things in life if one has never been taught how to use them responsibly. Raise kids so they have useful brains that can process information. Then provide them information. Teach them how to use it to reach their own conclusions.

Last edited by Parnassia; Yesterday at 02:45 PM..
Rate this post positively
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2021, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top