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i grew up in a house full of books, but none of them were the Bible.
someone gave me a Bible and i hid it from my parents and read it in secret.
a friend at work laughed at this story. she grew up in a house where the ONLY book allowed in the house was the Bible. her father was a preacher in the South. so she would sneak in books like novels to read in secret.
I was lucky because I was a free range kid and the parents didn't ask questions, but on the occasion they did, I lied to do whatever it was I wanted to do.
My main thing was just having the freedom to come and go (without question).
These days, when kids are spied on, and are under lock and key 24/7, are a horrible disservice to kids. I thank my lucky stars for the freedom I was afforded as a child and teen. Truly one of the great gifts of my life.
I also had free range as a kid and moved out and supported myself at 16. I will say the girls who had the strict 24/7 parents were the best when they did get out of the house.
I was kind of a good kid. I think I really only lied about a sex tryst, and hid my first drinking experience. Beyond those two specific things, I had nothing to lie about.
I hid my misery from my mom. We just moved to a different state, I started high school, had ZERO friends and was completely and utterly miserable. Sat by myself at lunch, people were not nice to me, ridiculed me etc.. you get the idea. The whole year was extremely lonely, we lived in an apartment where I couldn't even have a pet. 14 is a terrible age to have no friends. I didn't want my mom to be sad or worry. So I smiled and acted like everything was ok. She had been through too much in her life. She died a few years later. She never once knew what I was going through back then, and I'm glad she didn't. That year of my misery was the last year that she was healthy. The next year she was diagnosed with cancer. Some people say "oh you should never have hid that from her." But I am totally fine with my decision, sometimes your journey in life is not what you think it will be, and you adjust to the situation in the best way that you know how.
I've always been amazed at the young women who want to become a parent/mommy asap back in school days. So often some young half grown up guy was drug into the scheme of being the first in the class to be married with children. So often they will have one set of standards for their kids and another for themselves and justifying it by saying, "I'm The Mommy.....that's why !".
Kids growing up in this setting have an amazing ability with seeing right thru such "parents". They will often hear, when growing up, such remarks as "Oh ha ha ha, he/she won't remember it once he/she has grow up". ( Oh really ?) Remember kids will know as much as 3/4 of what they will know in their life time by 8 years of age. Kids often take notes (mentally) and when with other kids compare those notes.
So by the time of teen years parents have taught so many kids the double standard where the kids will conceal so much of their lives and have their peers conspiring with them to keep their secrets. But then, why shouldn't they ? Ever notice how kids somewhere around puberty will begin to pair off with their peers and avoid older people they once couldn't be around enough ? And those older people probably did the same when they were young but they would never admit to it. And then there is that remark, "OMG if I ever caught my kids doing what I've been doing.....I'd kill them !"
So by teen years I was working after school and staying away as much as I could. By 19 I was driving a night time delivery truck on some week nights & week ends to stay away. I had my own money & my own autonomy. If my folks got on me wanting to know what I was doing I'd just explain that all I do is work. But the company I was in was a whole education in and of itself. Was I ever becoming street wise. I had learned earlier that if I did share anything I'd never hear the end of it so it was better to keep things to myself. And I don't regret any of it.
I kept hidden how much I hated my mom's religion. I was the 5th out of 6 kids with three older brothers who, from time to time would torture me. My father decided that the older boys would get $3000 each to do with as they please. I guess I was too young and didn't get anything.
At 17, I had a girl friend who had moved to Idaho. I visited her and was telling her that I didn't understand why the religion was so down on rock music which I loved. Her younger brother happened to be in the next room out of sight. He overheard our conversation. He was not baptized in the religion. Because of this, I was excommunicated from the religion due to apostasy.
Within a week I was told to leave home. I had not even graduated HS. Fortunately I had a friend who let me stay with him until I got a job and got my feet on the ground. To this day I have little to no contact with my family. Despite all that, I met a wonderful woman in 1975. We were married a year later and we've been together for 46 years. She has a wonderful caring family who took me in as one of their own. I had a wonderful career and retired after 31 years with an excellent pension. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
I kept hidden how much I hated my mom's religion. I was the 5th out of 6 kids with three older brothers who, from time to time would torture me. My father decided that the older boys would get $3000 each to do with as they please. I guess I was too young and didn't get anything.
At 17, I had a girl friend who had moved to Idaho. I visited her and was telling her that I didn't understand why the religion was so down on rock music which I loved. Her younger brother happened to be in the next room out of sight. He overheard our conversation. He was not baptized in the religion. Because of this, I was excommunicated from the religion due to apostasy.
Within a week I was told to leave home. I had not even graduated HS. Fortunately I had a friend who let me stay with him until I got a job and got my feet on the ground. To this day I have little to no contact with my family. Despite all that, I met a wonderful woman in 1975. We were married a year later and we've been together for 46 years. She has a wonderful caring family who took me in as one of their own. I had a wonderful career and retired after 31 years with an excellent pension. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
Always great to hear how people overcame bad parents. My Dad is such a POS he broke into my house a few years ago and stole a title to one of my cars. He forged the signature on it and sold MY car. I have not seen him since. If I knew that was all it would have taken to not see him again I would have gave him a car decades ago.
I kept hidden how much I hated my mom's religion. I was the 5th out of 6 kids with three older brothers who, from time to time would torture me. My father decided that the older boys would get $3000 each to do with as they please. I guess I was too young and didn't get anything.
At 17, I had a girl friend who had moved to Idaho. I visited her and was telling her that I didn't understand why the religion was so down on rock music which I loved. Her younger brother happened to be in the next room out of sight. He overheard our conversation. He was not baptized in the religion. Because of this, I was excommunicated from the religion due to apostasy.
Within a week I was told to leave home. I had not even graduated HS. Fortunately I had a friend who let me stay with him until I got a job and got my feet on the ground. To this day I have little to no contact with my family. Despite all that, I met a wonderful woman in 1975. We were married a year later and we've been together for 46 years. She has a wonderful caring family who took me in as one of their own. I had a wonderful career and retired after 31 years with an excellent pension. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
I got to know what the religion was? Religion sure makes people nuts.........
I'm always troubled by people with a lot of kids, they surely tire of raising kids after the 2nd or 3rd one and the older kids end up raising the younger kids.
My parents were fairly religious and not terribly bright when it came to kids getting into trouble.
Got busted in high school when I came home one night smelling like cigarettes. My parents didn't smoke so that has to stink like crazy to them! My dad asked if my girlfriend liked to drink when we smoked cigarettes together (car had a trunk full of beer that night but Barney Fife didn't find that clue). Note to self: Bring a fresh shirt, switch shirts before coming home!
Few things that irked me with my parents:
1. Making kids pay for everything they possibly could. I get kids paying for a cell phone or paying for their own car. My parents didn't feel I needed braces, my sister however did badly need them. They said if I wanted braces I'd have to pay for them monthly (I did).
2. Church- my parents were Catholic. So sure we had to attend mass weekly. After age 18, I'd bet I have not been to church a dozen times in my life (with the exception of funerals/weddings). My siblings do not attend church regularly either. So lets be "staunch Catholics" and watch everyone fade away from the religion.......smart parenting there! I'd guess church was essentially part of their identity.
Best church OOPS moment.........a very involved church members daughter got pregnant in high school. My parents were stunned, didn't want to discuss "how" that happened because the church says no sex before marriage. Seemed like an ideal time to discuss the obvious!
Of my parents circle of "church friends" most of the group turned out to be complete losers. Parents were failures, the kids were bigger failures (both in financial success and family success). The prayers seem to be unanswered with that group.
Nothing. Out of 7 kids, only 1 brother (the youngest) & 1 sister (the youngest) didn't do as told & it created chaos & violence on the regular. With a mum with some sort of ESP that could burn into her kids' brains & a ninja like swiftness where belts, boards & anything harmful was used with wild abandon, we older kids didn't dare do or say anything we knew was out of the question.
Besides, with the 2 F ups constantly causing issues, the rest of us often got hit as well for not stopping them, cuz we were the older kids & supposed to have some magical control over them.
It's amazing the terror that 4'11" woman could muster up. My father was far worse with his fists with the boys. Horrible people, both of them. I don't know how they managed to sleep nights.
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