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We expose our son to sports, musical instruments and art but he does not seem to want to pursue anything with a passion. I figure this is the age where kids can become very talented in something if they start some focused training. Doesn't have to be 8 hours a day. Just as little as 20 minutes a day is enough to build the fundamentals. But he doesn't show the interest.
Do we just accept that he is not going to get to some world-class level at a hobby? Or do we need to nudge him into it? Or just forget about it and let him decide what he wants later in life?
I picked up sports, music and art seriously after the age of 25 . I have got to a respectable level in a few hobbies. Not world-class, but a good amateur level. I feel if I had some training when I was younger I would have got to a much higher level in these hobbies.
It sounds like he is already world-class at being a normal five year old. Why on earth would you want or need him to be world-class at anything? Haven't you seen what happens to kids who are pushed to excel by their parents? Wouldn't you rather raise a well-adjusted happy human being who can relate to others?
It sounds like he is already world-class at being a normal five year old. Why on earth would you want or need him to be world-class at anything? Haven't you seen what happens to kids who are pushed to excel by their parents? Wouldn't you rather raise a well-adjusted happy human being who can relate to others?
This.
Or they find out that they get good at something by, say, 11 years old but not "world class" and believe me...NOTHING good comes out of that.
Or they burn out by their teen years and have nothing else to fall back on because of missed opportunities while they were becoming world class.
Just introduce him to various hobbies/activities and let him try them to see if he expresses any interest. At 5 years old be happy if he pays attention for 5 minutes. Most important is just let him try things and be a 5 year old. As he gets older if one hobby/sport sticks, you'll know.
By definition, very few people can be world-class at anything. Those people are incredibly talented and spend a lot more than 20 minutes a day learning their craft.
My mother kept sending me to piano lessons for four years after I lost interest in it. I didn't have the manual dexterity to play really difficult pieces, and no amount of practice helped. It was such an exercise in frustration that I quit the piano entirely.
Dancing, on the other hand, was a passion I discovered in my early thirties. So. Much. Fun. I had the time of my life, and only stopped because it hurt my knee too much. Did I become world-class? No, and I didn't want to. I drew the line at spending a bunch of money on travel and camps. There were national champions in our scene, and they tended to be...odd and kind of prickly. They sustained injuries, they tended to huddle in a little clique, they constantly traveled--and don't ask me where they got the money for all the travel or how they worked it out with school or their employer. They were freakin' fantastic at what they did, but they were also in a small minority. And almost all of them were built like gymnasts. Someone built like a track star or ballerina would probably be wasting their time trying to become a swing dance champ.
I don't know how much kids should be pushed to pursue something. I do know that prodding them to do something they aren't good at or don't care about will make them frustrated. Is a hobby supposed to be frustrating?
He's 5, let him be a kid. Passions should be intrinsic, he needs to figure that out for himself. Have him learn to swim (basic life skill). Expose him to kiddie soccer, kiddie gymnastics, t-ball, cub scouts. See if he takes an interest in his school's art or music classes, and if so, encourage that. Teach him to not be dependent on devices for entertainment. Expose him to theater, literature & nature, since that seems to be lacking somewhat for today's kids. Once he let's you know what his passion is, then follow it. Regardless if he does or doesn't develop a passion, work on raising a responsible young adult. I think that is what is most important.
Tips from instructors:
Informal activities with music should start soon after birth, followed by more systematic classes around age three, and lessons with the goal of learning the instrument should start between six and nine.
For sports- Field sports that are low impact. Such as lacross or soccer can be started at five to learn basic manuevers.
For eye hand coordinated sports- range - 7- 10. ( baseball, gymnastics, basketball).
Tiger woods took his son out at age three- Golf is an eye hand skill along with proper posturing. I cannot imagine a child having that discipline at such a young age. Yet Tiger had it and I guess that skill can be cultivated.
I see nothing wrong in a parent inquiring as they know their child best as to what proficiency they are exuding.
At 3, I was passionate about art. That passion waned by Third grade thanks to my Art teacher criticizing my technique. Little did I understand that HER opinion should NOT have discouraged a person who had the desire and the aptitude to "create". So as a parent, encourage the child to pursue various avenues. They will let you know what they are gifted in. Sometimes its just making lego creations. And that is Okay too!
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