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IMO, six year old boys do not want to be in school, sitting still, being quiet, following the rules, etc. Boys want to be active! I wonder if your son might thrive in a Montessori classroom, especially since he is ahead in some subjects.
I think you are seeking some assurance that “oh, well at least my kid isn’t struggling academically” which to be honest comes across as insecure and needy. You do not need to be comparing your child to anyone else’s.
My son was extremely well behaved throughout school, respectful, polite, etc. But yes, he struggled academically due to three learning disabilities. No, it wasn’t easy having to go through that. Does that make you feel better?
Learn to accept your whole child, their strengths and their weaknesses, and especially in a way that doesn’t compare them to other children.
Who was I comparing my son to? I'm not comparing him to anyone as my entire post was about just him. I have no idea how the other kids in his class are doing academically or behaviorally. I know my son struggles with behavior but excels with his work. I know it's hard to find a 6 year old who is great at both all the time. But I'm just comparing the scenario as to if it was the other way around, with behavior and academics would it be any worse or easier to deal with.
My son had behavior issues for years at school, but would bring home A's and B's. The school would call about behavior issues. I would coach him on it and tell him he needed to fix his behavior and shape up. I would ask him what he learned at school today and he would say, "Absolutely nothing. It is so boring. We go over the same stuff again and again." Fast forward and the pandemic hits and they go remote. Huge difference. His grades came up immediately. He just finished this semester with straight A's and no interaction with teachers. It is all through the remote platform. He said, "We hadn't learned anything new for 3 years." He is moving at his own speed and he says he goes to YouTube if he doesn't understand something. I don't think you really have anything to worry about.
Who was I comparing my son to? I'm not comparing him to anyone as my entire post was about just him. I have no idea how the other kids in his class are doing academically or behaviorally. I know my son struggles with behavior but excels with his work. I know it's hard to find a 6 year old who is great at both all the time. But I'm just comparing the scenario as to if it was the other way around, with behavior and academics would it be any worse or easier to deal with.
No, it would not be easier to deal with, and I don’t even know why you are asking this.
If you really want to know what it’s like going through 13 years of hell because your kid struggles academically, and suffers with PTSD and low self esteem from school, let me know.
I suspect your problem is easier. As long as he is a kind child and not a bully his behavior issues seem like something he may grow out of. He needs to be kept challenged and not bored. As someone else mentioned, maybe Montessori or similar school would be a better fit.
No, it would not be easier to deal with, and I don’t even know why you are asking this.
If you really want to know what it’s like going through 13 years of hell because your kid struggles academically, and suffers with PTSD and low self esteem from school, let me know.
He has been sent to the principals office twice in the last few weeks. Not for major offenses but for being disruptive in his own bubble - making loud noises, not listening to the teacher, talking loudly, running in the classroom.
He has sensory processing behaviors and some problems with self-regulation that do cause a lot of what's going on. He is a sensory seeker! We have him in OT, we have an evaluation started for IEP/504 plan, we are also doing behavioral therapy.
Although we are concerned about his behavior, he is achieving way beyond our expectations academically. He is in the 90th percentile in reading and two grade levels above in math.
But the behavior issues just makes us sad, because I feel like we are loosing all hope to help him get better in that area. On the other hand he could have the behavior like a saint, but doing very poorly in school, which is hard as well. I don't know which would be easier to deal with?
Frankly, I would take the well-behavior child. Once the principal calls, you have a serious discipline problem.
It doesn't matter why, he is disrupting the entire class. He is making it harder for his teacher to control the class. He is making it harder for his teacher to teach. He is making it harder for his classmates to learn.
His teacher chooses him to be the leader of groups often as a means of controlling his outbursts.
In the long run, if a child isn't taught how to behavior, then he/she will not perform well in school.
School is as much about learning to follow rules as it is about learning the three 'R's."
BTW, my son was like yours, but I made sure he knew how to behavior in school.
I'd take the behavior issues, they can be worked on and generally become less severe with time.
My son had adhd and struggled with self control at school when he was younger. The 504 helped as well as learning how to redirect him when he became distracted and disruptive. Lots of trial and error, and I think only one teacher ever really, really had major problems with him, the rest were able to work with him (we now joke about his primary teacher's oft used lunchtime admonition for him to 'eat more, talk less'). Basically it became mostly a non issue by sometime in middle school.
Doesn't really matter which would be easier to deal with. You have the kid you've got and you get to parent him according to his needs.
Sounds like you are on the right track!
Personally I'd rather deal with well behaved/not high achiever, but I'd PREFER that my kids be super smart because social skills can be taught. Which they are. Super smart, I mean, both my kids are quite intelligent. But one struggled with emotional regulation for years and struggled in school. She is now just coming into her own at age 20.
My husband and I are struggling with our 6 year old son (kindergarten) and his behavior at school. He has been sent to the principals office twice in the last few weeks. Not for major offenses but for being disruptive in his own bubble - making loud noises, not listening to the teacher, talking loudly, running in the classroom. He has sensory processing behaviors and some problems with self-regulation that do cause a lot of what's going on. He is a sensory seeker! We have him in OT, we have an evaluation started for IEP/504 plan, we are also doing behavioral therapy. Although we are concerned about his behavior, he is achieving way beyond our expectations academically. He is in the 90th percentile in reading and two grade levels above in math. His teacher chooses him to be the leader of groups often. He is doing so well with his grades, and we are super happy about that. He is socially very smart as well. But the behavior issues just makes us sad, because I feel like we are loosing all hope to help him get better in that area. On the other hand he could have the behavior like a saint, but doing very poorly in school, which is hard as well. I don't know which would be easier to deal with?
My cousin has a son like that. She talked to a good behavioral specialist, and he recommended monitoring the kid's diet (no fast foods or any foods with preservatives, no sweets, especially the ones with artificial colors and flavors. Eat more fruits, vegetables and lean protein. Limiting screen time as well, do more outside activities. Within 2.5 months of summer doing that, he turned 180 degrees around. Calm and much more focus, not moody or aggressive either. Now, he can still eat an occasional fast foods or sweets (but still no artificial colors/flavors, and he's still doing fine. He just needs a few months of detoxing all that bad chemicals that messed with his brain.
My husband and I are struggling with our 6 year old son (kindergarten) and his behavior at school. He has been sent to the principals office twice in the last few weeks. Not for major offenses but for being disruptive in his own bubble - making loud noises, not listening to the teacher, talking loudly, running in the classroom. He has sensory processing behaviors and some problems with self-regulation that do cause a lot of what's going on. He is a sensory seeker! We have him in OT, we have an evaluation started for IEP/504 plan, we are also doing behavioral therapy. Although we are concerned about his behavior, he is achieving way beyond our expectations academically. He is in the 90th percentile in reading and two grade levels above in math. His teacher chooses him to be the leader of groups often. He is doing so well with his grades, and we are super happy about that. He is socially very smart as well. But the behavior issues just makes us sad, because I feel like we are loosing all hope to help him get better in that area. On the other hand he could have the behavior like a saint, but doing very poorly in school, which is hard as well. I don't know which would be easier to deal with?
My best advice is do not take whatever are his issues at age 6 as who he is. Kids grow and change. Make sure he is reasonably happy so that he can thrive, but academics and behaviors if the other is taken care of have a way of sorting themselves out over time. When I was that age and was doing super well academically but a bit boisterous, one thing my parents did for me was get me involved in some other activities to keep me from being bored - so you might look into some other interests for your kid - sports, plays, arts, robotics/coding, library reading programs - feel free to try a variety to see if any he really enjoys. A rule my parents always had is that we had to stick through a season but we never had to continue in something after that season if we chose not to.
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