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I started to respond last night. I guess I didn't hit submit.
I think having an adventure is great. I would also be apprehensive if this were my daughter. I sometimes attracted unwanted attention when I was that age. Safety first. I'm not a fan of the isolated car sleeping. She would need to sleep with the windows up and it may be too hot to do that. I find sleeping in a vehicle uncomfortable. We got caught in a lightning storm when we were tent camping one time. Fortunately, we were parked next to our tent and had not hiked in. That was a rough night for sleep. I can't imagine doing it for prolonged periods unless she brought extra pillows to prop under her.
I'm a fan of the buddy system, but I can understand wanting to go alone. There are apps that could be used to track her progress if she were willing to share her location with you. My family uses them. I sent a link to my husband today as I traveled back and forth on an errand out of town. My husband sends me links to his bike rides in case something happens. Maybe she would be to allow you to watch her progress. If not, having some sort of phones calls or texts where she checks in with you would be good. A lot depends on what kind of cell reception people get in the area. I'm not familiar with the area she is traveling, but I've been a lot of places with zero cell reception.
I would equip her as best you can and then give her wings.
She’s an adult. You can’t stop her and if you continue to try and treat her like a child she’s going to resent you for it.
I’ve taken two solo long distance trips, one when I was 21 and I drove from Denver to Nashville to visit my grandmother for a month.
And another when I was 29 from Nashville to Florida to take a completely solo vacation to cope with the grief of losing my grandmother.
During the trip when I was 21 my mom was calling and messaging my grandmother telling her what my rules were while on the trip. My mom didn’t like that I drove my car and had my car with me and could leave and go anywhere anytime without my grandmother. My grandmother reminded her I was 21 and 1100mi away and not currently under her roof so it didn’t matter.
During the trip when I was 29 and a week away from hitting the big 30 my min would call me at like 9pm to make sure I was in my room and at 30 I had to lie and say I was even though I was still down at the pool or the beach or the hotel bar. Luckily find friends only gives you a general location and not exact because she wouldn’t quit telling me to go upstairs until I “did”. At 30.... 30 years old and I don’t live with her anymore and she was acting like that.
She still to this day will text me and ask me where I am and what I’m doing and if I don’t respond fast enough she goes crazy and calls and texts over and over again even when I’m at work and she could check my location and see I’m at work. Next time I’ll be letting my boss answer her calls.
But she’s an adult and she deserves to be treated like one instead of coddled and protected into her 30s.
Because I can tell you from experience if your parents still treat you like a child then so will everyone else your life.
She’s an adult. You can’t stop her and if you continue to try and treat her like a child she’s going to resent you for it.
You’re over age 30 and STILL going on with this ludicrous attitude of “I’m 18+ and can do whatever I want and nobody can stop me!!!” Will you ever grow up? Please NEVER have kids.
Just FYI being 18+ doesn’t make you an adult, just legally liable for your actions. And you can certainly stop a rebellious young adult by cutting off all their support and throwing them out on the street (as your mother should have done at age 18 with you, txtqueen, which would have served you right.). It’s a bit hard to be a rebellious macho-man/woman when you’re cold, hungry, and out on the street with nowhere to go home to.
You’re over age 30 and STILL going on with this ludicrous attitude of “I’m 18+ and can do whatever I want and nobody can stop me!!!” Will you ever grow up? Please NEVER have kids.
Just FYI being 18+ doesn’t make you an adult, just legally liable for your actions. And you can certainly stop a rebellious young adult by cutting off all their support and throwing them out on the street (as your mother should have done at age 18 with you, txtqueen, which would have served you right.). It’s a bit hard to be a rebellious macho-man/woman when you’re cold, hungry, and out on the street with nowhere to go home to.
I guess you missed the part where she lives at/near her college and she paid for her car.
Sounds like she doesn’t live at home and sounds like she’s financially supporting herself.
And yes 18+ means people can’t stop you from doing anything, they can’t stop doing stuff for you but by law once a person is 18 you can’t stop them from leaving or doing as they please. No cop will back you up.
The part that would worry me about the trip is that she will be doing it alone. I have a son who likes to take the occasional long distance road trip but he brings at least one other person with him and he sleeps overnight in hotels. Plus he texts us his progress.
The concerns that I would have with your daughter's plan is that she would be alone, travelling long distances in unfamiliar places and getting poor quality sleep for days (weeks) on end. That just doesn't seem very smart to me. The one good thing is that she has told you about this plan in the first place, so hopefully she'll keep you updated on her travel progress and will provide you with her planned travel routes.
If my own kid wanted to do something like this I would ask him to first try sleeping in his car for a long weekend to see just how uncomfortable that is.
That said, she is an adult now and if this is something that she really wants to do I would not stand in her way.
I travelled alone across the country at 21 on a Greyhound bus for 3 nonstop days/nights and I was fine. I drove the California coastline by myself all the way from SF up to the Oregon border and I was fine. I hiked and camped by myself in national parks and I was fine. I walked and took trains and buses around Eastern Europe by myself for 3 weeks and I was fine. I've travelled all over the US for both my job and vacations by myself and was fine. Sure, there are unsavory people in bus terminals and pickpocket types roaming around cities. This is to be expected. One has to learn how to be alert. Just because someone is a young woman doesn't mean she is incapable of travelling alone. She needs to learn to be smart, shrewd, and savvy about potential dangers and have Plan B in mind.
I know so many women who are so afraid to do anything that they don't even want to walk alone in their own neighborhood. This isn't the picture of a "strong, independent, equal" woman, is it?
I guess you missed the part where she lives at/near her college and she paid for her car.
Sounds like she doesn’t live at home and sounds like she’s financially supporting herself.
And yes 18+ means people can’t stop you from doing anything, they can’t stop doing stuff for you but by law once a person is 18 you can’t stop them from leaving or doing as they please. No cop will back you up.
I can’t help but laugh. Again, please never have kids.
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