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I don't feel bad that I stuck my head in the car to check on my son and said something briefly to the kid who swore at my daughter. Is that really all you got out of my post ? Wow.
My kids don't talk like that but sounds like you're hoping they will. Some kids have class and don't pick up on everything from peers.
I'd be willing to wager that more than just that boy were in the car cussing about when the parents were out of hearing range It wouldn't surprise me if your kids were in that group. I laughed when I was a kid about how completely clueless parents were about us kids. Parents thinking their kids were saints had not a clue about how foul and vulgar we could all be when the parents were out of earshot. And I'm pretty sure that this is a thing for every generation. Were you really a saint as a kid, OP?
For the record, I don't really have a problem with what you said inherently, but that's because I was raised in a culture where parents could give each others' kids basic direction in cases like this. My only problem would be that you addressed the issue after the kid's father already did. If you were the first to address the situation immediately upon it happening, that would have been one thing. All in all, though, your approach didn't seem harsh in my view. And I definitely wouldn't call it a chewing out.
So we are discussing swear words. And that term is not a swear word. But my same thoughts apply to that term. If you are using any word to hurt others, then yes, it is disgusting and wrong. Are you talking about someone using a word to hurt someone else by classifying them into a group. then yes. I cannot think of a way I could use that word that is not solely meant to embrace harming someone, and harming them based on race. I have not used that word that I can recall in my life. But if one had regular academic conversations about race, its history and how that term came to be, or the use of the term to reduce its power to harm by members of the community it is wielded against, I would be okay using the word in that manner. But lets be realistic, that is not a swear word, its an attack word. And that is my point. words used to attack someone are the problem.
But I also thinks its wrong to say things like "j*w" to infer financial negotiations or someone's spending habits, but fine with someone using the word "Jew" to describe a person of Israel or of the Jewish faith. Again, its not the word, its the use. Some words are only meant to harm others. Such use of any words are always wrong to me.
And if you have a problem with someone saying "F*ck You" to your young child, but not with someone saying, "you stupid jerk" , then I just disagree with you. Both are completely wrong IMO. But if that same young person fell during a hockey game and fractured their leg, and screamed out "oh **** it hurts" I have no problem with it whatsoever. Its the use, not the word.
I see your point, but that's a slippery slope as far as I'm concerned. Not everyone uses the "N" words to offend or attack blacks (or pick your poison among words considered by many to be offensive). Heck, even having someone of a different race reading that word aloud from a book in an education setting can upset people. Similarly, curse words can upset people. From where I stand, I look at one's intent when deciding whether to get upset about something. If someone's intent it to hurt or attack another, then I'll condemn words. Otherwise, I try not to be bothered much.
At this point in time my kids do not talk like that. They're 5 and 7. I'm not saying they never will swear but they do not now thankfully.
Why do people get mad or doubt parents who say, my child does not do that. Not all kids display the same bad behavior. My son pushed my daughter this morning and I didn't appreciate that. They do behave badly sometimes. But they don't swear.
At this point in time my kids do not talk like that. They're 5 and 7. I'm not saying they never will swear but they do not now thankfully.
Why do people get mad or doubt parents who say, my child does not do that. Not all kids display the same bad behavior. My son pushed my daughter this morning and I didn't appreciate that. They do behave badly sometimes. But they don't swear.
Fifteen years ago, my wife happened to be within earshot when our niece complained about something our nephew (her older brother) had done. The complaint was an emphatic "What the ____!?". [you can guess what word I left out]
Our niece is and was a polite, somewhat reserved individual. But like most kids, she had (and probably still has) an around-adults mode of behavior and other modes (around friends, about sibling(s), etc.). I remember that my wife told her sister (our niece's mother) about the exchange, and she had no idea that the girl had ever used such a word.
The previous poster simply stated that they would not be surprised if your child had used profanity in the situation you described. After all, it is possible. But you refuse to consider that it is possible, even though you cannot know whether that is so. My children are now well into their twenties. We had generally well-behaved kids who got good grades and have gone on to establish themselves with meaningful careers in adulthood. They had good groups of friends and were good peers to others. But they weren't angels, and we always knew that, even if we did not know the details. However, my wife and I always were acutely aware that we did not know everything and that there were undoubtedly some things that would surprise us about our children. And? Since becoming independent our children have occasionally shared (sometimes sheepishly, sometimes gleefully) some of the misbehaviors which they engaged in - and which they successfully concealed from Mom and Dad - when they were younger.
Did our children use much profanity? Not to my knowledge. But I know that my knowledge was and remains incomplete. That sort of parental humility not only goes a long way, it's realistic.
I had a flashback of a friend of mine from high school. She was very reserved, highly intelligent, didn't do anything bad ever. Probably what most would consider the perfect child. Her mother was kind of cooky. One day she was driving her home from school and my friend tried to move her heavy bag and ended up saying, this ****ing bag. Apparently her mother was so upset that she cried, lectured her the whole ride home and said things like I can't believe I have a daughter who talks like this. The slip of that one word apparently revealed a whole different side of my friend to her mother.
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It wouldn't surprise me if your kids were in that group. I laughed when I was a kid about how completely clueless parents were about us kids. Parents thinking their kids were saints had not a clue about how foul and vulgar we could all be when the parents were out of earshot. And I'm pretty sure that this is a thing for every generation. Were you really a saint as a kid, OP? 
