Is it "child abuse" to have children when you have mental health issues? (orphan, bi-polar)
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Kavalier,
I completely understand your point.. and can sympathize. But the truth is, there is no perfect circumstance for being a parent. I'm an imperfect parent, and we all take a chance when we procreate. We have the capability to control some variables, but it's ultimately in God's hands. All life is valuable, even when it's very challenging.
Keep posting, you always have good content.
My older stepson is bipolar, and very early on made the decision to never have children. It contributed to the breakup of his marriage but is also one of the few life choices he made that I applaud.
I know one. She has 4 kids. She lost custody a few times already. But the state gives them back.
I know several women (mothers) who have mental/emotional issues. They either lost custody, abandoned their kids or voluntarily gave up custody to the fathers because they realized they could not adequately care for their children anymore.
That is better than the nearly daily news articles in which a parent or parents bf/gf abused, tortured or murdered their child/children.
My grandmother was bipolar and my grandfather was an alcoholic. my mom's upbringing was traumatic and as a result her mental health was probably never great. Shortly after I was born her mother died suddenly of a heart attack. My mother was plunged into depression which she never really got out of.
Should she have had 3 children? Probably not. Was it child abuse? Definitely not. She was abusive but only because she had been abused.
I've had depression my whole life. Should I have had children? It was definitely a risk. My daughter showed signs of bipolar and it terrifies me that I may have inadvertently passed this on to her. Fortunately she is doing well right now. I did not abuse my children and have successfully broken that cycle. Nor do they show signs of alcoholism.
the stigma of mental health issues is lessened these days and treatment/medication options have vastly improved.
And I am selfish. I want my daughters to have children some day despite the risks that they will inherit bipolor and/or alcoholism.
Do you believe it's child abuse, to bring a child(ren) into this world if you have mental health issues - knowing it's possible to pass said mental health issues on to your offspring?
Wow. You are accusing women who are already have issues, of hurting their babies. You are talking about women, not men.
Should these women have aborted their babies? What would that do to their mental condition?
Are you advocating forced sterilization of women, or forced abortions, or both?
Wow. You are accusing women who are already have issues, of hurting their babies. You are talking about women, not men.
Should these women have aborted their babies? What would that do to their mental condition?
Are you advocating forced sterilization of women, or forced abortions, or both?
I don't think I singled out women in my post or any posts here. Maybe I have, but I don't think I did so consciously.
I'm thinking about myself as well - I am pondering having kids but I have severe depression and I am an alcoholic (though I haven't had a drink in nearly 3 years - so I guess you could say I'm in "recovery") so I am concerned about the ramifications of having children myself.
I hated my mother. She was bipolar and she was a screamer - she was not a soft, loving mother like I felt like every son deserves. I think she had a profound(ly) negative effect on my life and to this day. I do not believe she had any business having children. With that said, she held a good job her whole life, and my father never divorced her and from what I heard she did some stuff to him that would have drove most men loony, but he stead true to his marriage vows, which I am glad he did because had they divorced I would have been a mess and likely never productive member of society.
This is an interesting poll. My brother has schizophrenia - its genetic. I have some "mental illness": more anxiety than depression but there is an overlap.
My brother should not have kids- and he doesn't, he's not married, and no kids.
I'm married for 20+ years now with three kids.
Drawing the line between who should have kids and who shouldn't becomes messy. Likewise, my brother has a gun (it's locked up in a safe with the key no where near the safe) we've often said he should not be allowed to have a gun. I don't care what the constitution says. Sorry, it's just not safe IMO for him to have this. He's basically harmless (does not work, stays at home all day everyday) but sometimes people with schizophrenia snap. We've tried getting it from him but have not been successful.
The point is there is a very fine line regarding how much mental illness one has where society or the law should determine that they are or are not allowed to have kids. Its a tough question, no easy answer.
People that do not have mental illness or no experience with this have no clue how rough it can be.
I think people are reading into my question too much. I am not proposing legislation be passed to sterilize people with mental health issues, I'm just asking people whether they view it as "abuse" or not, if someone who knows they have mental health issues but have children anyways, knowing they can pass on what some people view having as a living hell.
I think people are reading into my question too much. I am not proposing legislation be passed to sterilize people with mental health issues, I'm just asking people whether they view it as "abuse" or not, if someone who knows they have mental health issues but have children anyways, knowing they can pass on what some people view having as a living hell.
You can't ignore the fact that having children is expected and encouraged in society- one of the main drivers is religion.
The Duggars are a perfect example of the ultra religious. Catholics traditionally were the other since birth control is proscribed (or used to be- don't know if it still is forbidden). Orthodox Jews have many children- in their case can't say I blame them.
However, sure, the truly mentally ill shouldn't have children, but the truly mentally ill probably don't recognize that fact that they are sick, so they couldn't be viewed as deliberately abusive.
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