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There are so many reasons sending an email out gets few replies, but mainly it isn't personal enough.
I'm retired but see what my younger relatives do: no unknown people get near their kids, kids photos are not posted in any public forum, their kids, when not at home, are in a supervised, background-checked place.
Covid is important but before covid showed up there were many other safety issues.
People with kids might:
own an unsecured gun
have unsecured RX or other drugs
have a pedofile relative who "drops in"
have a babysitter age 12 who couldn't care less, except for texting
have a babysitter age 80 who falls asleep
Meet some parents that don't live far away.
Invite the at-home parent to stop in for coffee.
Stop in at their home before you let your kid go there.
Ask them questions: do you own guns, are your cabinets child-proof (from cleaning solutions), etc
The right kind of parents will like your questions because they care about their kids safety too.
Children are valuable and deserve getting a safe childhood.
So I get the impression most parents are not interested in having their kids play with other kids. Perhaps many kids prefer to be alone or don't like playing with my son? Or the parents have plenty of help around the house and don't value the free time from sending their kids to play elsewhere? Or perhaps general paranoia about not knowing the parents well enough?
I had three sons, the two year plan. We just didn't need anyone else to come play. They got enough interaction at school with other kids.
My mom was a single parent of six !
She didn't know ' draining'. If anything the open door policy was often in play.
We were allowed to invite friends over.
Most were known because we all went to the same private school. Dinners were standard meat and potatoes ...nothing fancy.
My fondest memory of kindergarten was walking six blocks home with my favorite school friend Katie. Her mom would not let us have play time together. It would be years later I would learn that Katies' family was from a different faith and to associate with ' my kind' , was against their church. I'm glad Katie and I had those walks home. We often stopped to observe a garden or stomp in puddles.
Precious and few are those bonds.
Wish kids in this era could capture that spirit. No technology can replace it.
Time has and continues in 24 hr increments. That hasn't changed. Priority change.
Yes, people are likely still worried about covid. It's feb vacation week and my daughter is in kindergarten and went to someone's house to play today - they have 6 kids. My son is 7 and had a friend over today as well. Tomorrow he is going to another friend's house. Kindergarten seems to be generally when playdates start.
I felt anxious about playdates before covid and I still do kind of get anxious about them now. My kids talk to me and if anything weird was going on they'd let me know. At the end of the day I want my kids to have friends and not be left out because I was anxious.
I just happened to see this thread in the sidebar, which is why I'm here... And I don't know how old YOU are, but I do recognize your name from the Retirement forum! How long ago was your son little??? Things have changed; kids don't play outdoors unsupervised with the neighbors anymore. That was like 50 years ago.....
And even then not everywhere. In my street there were hardly any kids when I was little long ago and even if there were it was a busy road. Same with my own kids.
I would invite your neighbor's kid over and not expect an invite back. I had a friend like this and it was fine. She was a slob. I rather not have my kids over her dirty house anyway. OTOH, her children were charming and well behaved.
So many kids are in daycare until 6 PM or in formal after-school programs. Playdates are beginning to be a thing of the past. It sucks.
For the families with both parents working, playdates are mainly for weekends/school closing days. Rarely do they happen during the work week due to what you describe above.
There are still plenty of families where one parents, usually mom, doesn't work. In this case, they are more flexible with playdates.
Frankly, I hate having other people - even relatives - in my house. I feel like I need to clean it from top to bottom before anyone can enter. It’s stressful because with two young kids the place is always a mess. I know a lot of people are the same way. I want my kids to play with other kids, just not in my house…
I doubt you will have many playdates with this attitude. So essentially your kids are forced not to have friends because of your own anxieties and prejudices...
There are so many reasons sending an email out gets few replies, but mainly it isn't personal enough.
I'm retired but see what my younger relatives do: no unknown people get near their kids, kids photos are not posted in any public forum, their kids, when not at home, are in a supervised, background-checked place.
Covid is important but before covid showed up there were many other safety issues.
People with kids might:
own an unsecured gun
have unsecured RX or other drugs
have a pedofile relative who "drops in"
have a babysitter age 12 who couldn't care less, except for texting
have a babysitter age 80 who falls asleep
Meet some parents that don't live far away.
Invite the at-home parent to stop in for coffee.
Stop in at their home before you let your kid go there.
Ask them questions: do you own guns, are your cabinets child-proof (from cleaning solutions), etc
The right kind of parents will like your questions because they care about their kids safety too.
Children are valuable and deserve getting a safe childhood.
Just ask the parents of prospective playdates for a police report and background/credit check. I am pretty sure there will not be any playdates with this approach.
Last edited by DefiantNJ; 02-24-2022 at 09:28 AM..
My kids have had a few playdates this week because of school vacation. I'll be honest in that the playdates aren't the easiest thing to have. When it's just my kids I feel more relaxed but it's not as relaxing having someone else's kid over that you have to entertain.
My son went to a friends house yesterday. It was unseasonably warm, 65 degrees, they played outside and then made cookies. He was there for 2.5 hours. My question is when do we invite the other kid over? A snow storm is on the way, the kids are back to school next week and they dont get home until 4pm. My son is heavily involved in sports on the weekends so for us this is a reason we don't do many playdates. I honestly dont know when we could have the other kid over again. April vacation?
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