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ok well if someone is truly living life in the hopes that someone else is going to work to support them then I personally don't think it's the best attitude to have. Sure we'd all love to win the lottery or have a spouse hit it big.
I had my kids at 35+. Wish I had been a little younger but it is is what it is. My cousin had his 3rd child when he was 51. I've seen dad's become dad's for the first time at 50. Not sure that is the best way to go...some men I think get a bit cocky and think they can have kids into their 60's just because they're bodies can make it happen but that doesn't mean they should.
Even with wanting a baby and going through fertility treatment, I felt this way up until I gave birth. My biggest fear during labor wasn't tearing or how much it would hurt, it was thinking about how I was moments (or really hours since it was 36 hours of labor) away from having to care for a baby's every need. But yeah, the moment he was born everything just perfectly fell into place I cannot imagine anything else.
I remember so clearly during my first delivery, at a certain point the nurse wheeled out a plastic sort of bassinet and lined it with towels, to put the baby in. I was lying there laboring and that bassinet beside the bed just blew my mind. Even at that point, the idea that there was going to be an actual baby in it didn’t seem real.
ok well if someone is truly living life in the hopes that someone else is going to work to support them then I personally don't think it's the best attitude to have. Sure we'd all love to win the lottery or have a spouse hit it big.
This being the parenting forum, this childfree by choice/no regrets woman of 68 will refrain from the same dull discussion that I am selfish or fearful etc. Just weary of it.
I don't wanna. Just don't wanna. And there are many of us who are anything but selfish or fearful.
As I posted earlier, I think that if you don’t want to be a parent, you should not be a parent. It is your life. Luckily in these times, women get to decide, and I would never force parenthood on anyone.
"it's not normal to think of the height of the cliff before jumping off"
"it's not normal to research negatives of a career before choosing a profession"
"it is not normal to think about the negatives when setting off to a solo voyage across the ocean"
"it is not normal to assess own maturity before accepting responsibility for maturation of other human beings"
"it is not normal to think about effort/time/sacrifice/support/money/etc. before having kids" (from the above poster)
What the OP is doing is exactly right: assessing her own capability to handle life stresses.
Yep. If only more people took the time and effort, they would make better decisions about whether to parent.
As I posted earlier, I think that if you don’t want to be a parent, you should not be a parent. It is your life. Luckily in these times, women get to decide, and I would never force parenthood on anyone.
It's just that the words "selfish," "fearful," and "not responsible" are constantly told to people, especially women, who choose to be childfree.
As I posted earlier, I think that if you don’t want to be a parent, you should not be a parent. It is your life. Luckily in these times, women get to decide, and I would never force parenthood on anyone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bentonite
It's just that the words "selfish," "fearful," and "not responsible" are constantly told to people, especially women, who choose to be childfree.
Those words have even been posted on this thread.
People have opinions. Many are uninformed. More than a few are expressed to get a reaction from others (especially in C-D forums, NextDoor, Facebook and any online forum where people can post anonymously).
A person are not responsible for the actions of others, including the words they use.
A person has no control over another person's actions or thoughts or beliefs.
A person onlycontrols how they choose to react to the words and actions of others.
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