Team sports and anxiety in children (7 year old, learn, music, travel)
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and this is the point of the thread. There is so much pressure to get your kids involved in high level activities/sports at a young age and if you don't they'll never catch up. But some kids simply aren't ready for that or don't want to.
Its absolutely insane. I'm a young parent and seeing this for the first time and cannot believe how some of these parents act and think. 5/6 year olds should not have private instructors and playing on travel teams. I have neighbors that are 6 years old and 7 days a week are at sports. I've never actually seen them outside "playing". Guess there are different views for every parent, but the times have certainly changed.
My younger daughter had zero interest in sports as a young child...did taekwondo, that was about it.
In 8th grade, we went to the night at her high school where they welcomed incoming parents/students. There were tables setup for various sports where you could talk to the coaches. My normally shy daughter walked up to the field hockey one and struck up a conversation with the coach... ended up trying out (as goaltender) and made it on the team. Was she the best? Noo.. and yes, she played with kids who had been playing for a very long time. But she worked hard and ended up also playing lacrosse in high school (also as goalie). Went to college and also played on that team (lacrosse).
Point ? She WANTED to do it in high school and did it. She made it on both teams, as goalie , with no prior experience. Practiced really hard and got pretty good at it. No scholarships though LOL.
The idea (IMO) is, she learned to deal with a team. I never pushed. And she had a blast.
My younger daughter had zero interest in sports as a young child...did taekwondo, that was about it.
In 8th grade, we went to the night at her high school where they welcomed incoming parents/students. There were tables setup for various sports where you could talk to the coaches. My normally shy daughter walked up to the field hockey one and struck up a conversation with the coach... ended up trying out (as goaltender) and made it on the team. Was she the best? Noo.. and yes, she played with kids who had been playing for a very long time. But she worked hard and ended up also playing lacrosse in high school (also as goalie). Went to college and also played on that team (lacrosse).
Point ? She WANTED to do it in high school and did it. She made it on both teams, as goalie , with no prior experience. Practiced really hard and got pretty good at it. No scholarships though LOL.
The idea (IMO) is, she learned to deal with a team. I never pushed. And she had a blast.
Yeah but you can learn to deal with a team without doing sports. Plenty of kids excel in stuff like band, theater, orchestra, etc where you have to work in a group to achieve a certain goal. My first job in my current career was one I got probably because we were able to discuss music in the interview. I am not terribly musical at this point but did play instruments as a child. I don’t think we had a group that was athletic at all, but the department head was in a blues band and several other people in the department sang or continued to play in bands of various genres. I have one friend who I think got an internship because he played saxophone. So certainly being able to do something other than sports can be helpful as well.
Yeah but you can learn to deal with a team without doing sports. Plenty of kids excel in stuff like band, theater, orchestra, etc where you have to work in a group to achieve a certain goal. My first job in my current career was one I got probably because we were able to discuss music in the interview. I am not terribly musical at this point but did play instruments as a child. I don’t think we had a group that was athletic at all, but the department head was in a blues band and several other people in the department sang or continued to play in bands of various genres. I have one friend who I think got an internship because he played saxophone. So certainly being able to do something other than sports can be helpful as well.
I agree, but why not do both? I just talked to a boy who plays soccer, was the kicker on the football team, and had the lead in the school musical. Again, in larger schools it is much more competitive, and this might not be possible unless you're extremely talented. I just think it is important to be exposed to different sports early in life. One that hasn't been mentioned here is swimming. That is a skill that can possibly save your life and maybe someone else's life.
Having some anxiety about sports performance is perfectly normal at ANY age. Team sports is a good way to develop a variety of skills both physical and social/emotional.
Your comment about him maybe not liking team sports it in direct contrast to him saying he likes it. Unless you are manipulating him, there is no reason not to take him at his word. But liking something doesn't mean you have to be super focused on it or being really good at it - and the kind of thinking that you must be full gung-ho on something at that age or fall behind is a way to kill the joy fast. You seem to be missing the the point that sports are supposed to be fun and not all about a college scholarship.
Your son should be able to try a wide variety of activities and simply enjoy them and it shouldn't be about the future. It should be about the present. My parents' rule was always that if we signed up for something, we were committed for the season, but we never had to continue beyond that if we chose not to. And sometimes we did choose not to, despite future potential scholarship options and a history of investment of time and money and having developed significant skill for our ages at that point. I am very grateful for that.
Don't jump on the bandwagon of thinking of sports as anything other than fun opportunities for your kids, sucking the fun out of it and putting completely unneeded pressure on your children to commit and perform when they should be playing.
I teach/coach at high school, and I see so many kids whose joy of sports has been ruined by their parents turning it all about money - they feel like they HAVE to play - and honestly a great many of them that do get scholarships absolutely hate the college sports experience - it is a brutal industry and more kids come out with a negative experience in college sports these days. And it often doesn't solve the expense of college, anyway.
As for a kid not being able to enjoy something because they're not competitive enough with peers who started earlier - there can be a little truth to this - however, there are a huge number of activities for kids to try and many different levels of participation. Being on the C squad can be a lot more fun than being on varsity sometimes, as can playing in a rec league vs. a private club. I ran varsity cross country and track in school and never even saw a JV race because our team wasn't big enough to stick around for it - only years later as a coach did I realize I would've had a much more enjoyable experience running JV for cross country in particular - it would've been more relaxed and I would've been considerably more competitive. But I was competitive enough for varsity in track by a long shot. So performing at the top level isn't always the only option and the only way to enjoy something. And don't forget there's a whole world of things to try outside of traditional sports - there are arts and sciences and other kinds of sports, too - the skies the limit. At 6 it should be about trying things!
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Originally Posted by mi26
My son is 6 and I have him in t-ball/baseball. We practice together and when he actually tries and doesn't fool around he shows a lot of potential. He's just a little immature and has a hard time focusing for long periods of time. He says he likes it so I have him on a local little league team. However, he has sensitivities and social anxiety and basically will shut down at times. Maybe he just doesn't like team sports and I'm OK with that and will continue to see what else he can try. Or maybe he's just not "ready" for team sports yet. The issue is - and I'm sure some of you can relate - nowadays if you don't have your kid in a "team sport" early they will fall way behind. It's so competitive nowadays. I see 6/7 year olds in all sports going to private instructors, travel teams, etc. It's crazy. I'm afraid in 3-5 years he's going to get into it more and be "ready", but will be just so far behind.
I remember growing up there were a lot of kids that didn't start baseball or other sports until they were 8 or 9 and could gradually catch up. Now, I don't think that's the case.
What are everyone's thoughts on these parents pushing 5, 6, 7 year olds to be future pros? Seems to be more and more common , which is unfortunately closing the gap on older kids joining a sport in the future. I'm of the mindset to let kids be kids and when they're ready to play something and have fun I will assist in that. But, if they are involved they must finish that season.
Let him play rec leagues. If he develops a true talent and love for a sport you can chose to invest then. Or not.
I know two brothers that were very good at baseball and had all the private instruction, travelling teams, etc. The older of the two is playing in college, on a full scholarship. But its at an in state school where it costs something like $8K a year for residents. They probably spent that a year on baseball, but that wasn't the point. The kid loves baseball. His brother also loves baseball...but as a Junior in High School he's had some problems with injuries, that likely will mean the end of a competitive baseball career.
and this is the point of the thread. There is so much pressure to get your kids involved in high level activities/sports at a young age and if you don't they'll never catch up. But some kids simply aren't ready for that or don't want to.
Its absolutely insane. I'm a young parent and seeing this for the first time and cannot believe how some of these parents act and think. 5/6 year olds should not have private instructors and playing on travel teams. I have neighbors that are 6 years old and 7 days a week are at sports. I've never actually seen them outside "playing". Guess there are different views for every parent, but the times have certainly changed.
This whole thread reminds me of the story of one of Trevor Lawrence’s best friends. They played Pop Warner football together, that kind of stuff…but then puberty happened and it became clear Trevor Lawrence had the goods and his friend didn’t. The friend eventually quit playing football.
When it comes to sports or the arts, yes coaching and camps help, but nothing makes up for natural born ability, talent, and motivation.
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Originally Posted by mi26
I guess as a parent I just want to make sure he's having fun and doing things he enjoys. Finding that out of a 6 year old can be tough as well. Especially with a child that has interests, but anxiety in larger groups.
Like I stated, I live in a very big sports community so a lot of his friends are these kids that have parents that push them and have them in advanced instruction at a young age. I don't want to be like that. I just don't want him to become very into this in a few years and feel he's behind, that's all. As a parent, I want to make sure I'm doing everything I can to make sure he's happy. I will have to try him in multiple things to see what he truly enjoys. I appreciate all of the input.
You expose your children to all kinds of different things, because that’s how they find out what they’re good at and what they enjoy. My son tried lots of sports as a little kid, and never liked them. Giving him a video camera, though, changed his whole life. (Although in high school, he did find out he enjoyed archery and was rather good at it.)
Support what your son enjoys and you might be surprised. My husband BTW was sports obsessed and was an NCAA champion college athlete.
You may live in a very big sports community, but I bet if you look, you will find there is also a performing arts community, etc. I think it can be hard for dads to think outside of the sports box.
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Originally Posted by msRB311
There's nothing you can do about what other parents do. (Snip)
I would just focus on what you and your child like to do and what you think is best.
Oh good grief. This is why kids are so screwed up. Parents projecting their worries and anxiety onto the kids. It is freaking T-ball for crying out loud. If he likes it, take him to practices and games and let him play. If he doesn't, then move on. This is how kids start learning to deal with the stresses of life. Organized sports are very good for teaching kids skills for dealing with the ups and downs of life, learning that sometimes you win and sometimes you lose, some are better at certain skills than others and so on. Studies have shown that kids in organized sports also perform better academically in school because they learn time management and how to deal with stress. Quit worrying about it and let him play if he wants or not if he doesn't.
Oh good grief. This is why kids are so screwed up. Parents projecting their worries and anxiety onto the kids. It is freaking T-ball for crying out loud. If he likes it, take him to practices and games and let him play. If he doesn't, then move on. This is how kids start learning to deal with the stresses of life. Organized sports are very good for teaching kids skills for dealing with the ups and downs of life, learning that sometimes you win and sometimes you lose, some are better at certain skills than others and so on. Studies have shown that kids in organized sports also perform better academically in school because they learn time management and how to deal with stress. Quit worrying about it and let him play if he wants or not if he doesn't.
And let him play video games 20 hours a day if he wants.
And let him play video games 20 hours a day if he wants.
Huh. I must have missed the part where he said that.
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