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Kid B will get new insight when Kid D comes along and he (B) is now the target of pranks
Kid C has learned two valuable lessons: 1. Not everyone is nice. 2. Sometimes, people you think are your friends, really aren't. Now needs to move to lesson 3. Find new (real) friends.
The parents should have a meeting. The "game" of sending a child on that kind of a wild goose chase is not in the least funny. Children need to learn constructive behavior at an early stage. In life, the people who succeed are brought of by parents coming from a place of integrity.
I have a neighborhood kid issue and I wanted some objective assessment of what is going on. Please bear with me as I set up the history and the issues.
Family A - Kid A, Parent A:
3 kid family, Kid A is the youngest daughter - 5th grader
Family B - Kid B, Parent B:
3 kid family, just had a baby, Kid B is a middle son and a 3rd grader
Family C - Kid C, Parent C
2 kid family, Kid B is the youngest son and a 3rds grader
Background: Family A and B live adjacent to each other. Family C lives a block away, but they are all neighbors. They all have historically gotten along well with each other.
Personalities:
Kid A is not very social, as of now does not have any peer friends. Family A attributes this too much "drama" in 5th grade, and therefore justify avoiding all peers as a way to stay away from drama. Not much known besides this rationale. Very volatile personality, has meltdowns on being critiqued. Does not like peers coming over to her house, although Family A is very social.
Kid B: Mischievous and outgoing, prone to use of bad language (god bless TikTock), not much filter, a class clown, loves trash talk. Has history of getting in trouble. Generally a ring leader amongst his peers. However, follows everything Kid A says and does after school.
Kid C: Quieter but social, impressionable and follows Kid B without any issues at school and also in the neighborhood. On IEP, little speech delay.
History:
1) Starting a year ago, Kid A (5th grade) and Kid B (3rd grade) develop a strong bond. Families A and B think of them as siblings. Kid B and Kid C are classmates, and starting a year ago started getting along and hanging out with each other a lot. Kid A does not approve of B-C nexus. Makes her displeasure known, is visibly disappointed/annoyed/angry when Kid C shows up, even when Kid B invites Kid C to come over.
2) Kid B's older sibling has called Kid C autistic in an angry derogatory manner. Family B witnessed it, but never did anything or said anything to Family C. Family C gets to know about this ironically from Family A, whose older siblings witnessed this.
Incidents:
1) Family C encounters situations where Kid A manipulates Kid B to avoid Kid C. Kid A and B device a series of pranks where Kids A and B tell Kid C to meet them somewhere, and they run away and hide from Kid C. In once instance, Kid C is forced to walk alone back from a park because "they ditched me again".
Happens 4 times. Last instance, Family C takes the car to find Kids A and B who have sent Kid C on a wild goose chase again. Kids A and B are discovered trying to hide. Family C honks twice in the car, and tells Kid B - "why would you do this to your friend?". Family C's tone is annoyed. Kid A stands frozen, avoiding the conversation completely.
Family A texts Family C: "It was a misunderstanding, my daughter did not tell your kid to show up to the store or anywhere".
"My daughter is hysterical, you cannot talk to my daughter that way. Its best your kid (Kid C) not hang out with Kid A or B because my daughter is worried she might do something to your kid".
Clarification: Family C did not have a conversation with Kid A as they know Kid A may not take the critique well. Family C asks Family B if Kid B was hysterical, and that did not happen. It appears that Kid A has overdramatized the incident on being caught with orchestrating a malicious prank.
2) Kid C internalizes being ostracized but still reaches out to Kid B with mixed results. He sends one text to Kid B "You are my friend", and it's received well by Kid B. A little bit later, Kid B and C have an extremely short-lived TikTock back and forth. They end up being banned for saying stuff like "you are dumb". Both are equally at fault for provoking each other.
3) At school, Kid B and C have a small back and forth where Kid C says "you will never be famous". Kid B responds by saying "you are autistic" and some other things that are borderline abusive. Kid C shuts down and is quiet at recess and opens up to his family at home after some prodding.
Family C reaches out to Family B. The conversation is firm with a desire to find out both sides of the story, and to keep Kids B and C separated. Family C does not hear another back from Family B. The incident is reported by Family C at school and now there is an ongoing investigation for potential bullying.
Thoughts?
Holy crap that was life. Do you live in Melrose Place?
All families were hoping this would get resolved, but it just keeps on escalating.
Schools tend to get involved if one kid starts calling another "you are autistic" in a derogatory manner.
Family C already knew about the autistic comments being made outside of school, yet continued to let child be alone with the people saying it. Expecting the school to do something about a matter that wasn't important enough for them to address themselves is ridiculous. Each of these families should parent their children and mean children who aren't parented should be avoided like the plague that they are. Take the phone away!
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