Ex-Husband Chose new wife over Kids

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by texan2yankee

i had a relative who disowned his entire family because his new wife didn't like us. his new wife eventually divorced him.

I heard, from his new wife's daughter, he ended up living alone for the rest of his life and died alone. no one from his family spoke to him for years or attended his funeral.

I have heard of that happening more than once. A coworker's husband dumped her for a woman with whom he went into business who had been a friend of both of them. Then he put all his money into the other woman's name to dodge paying child support. The coworker used to take all but $5 of her son's paper route money because she needed it to make ends meet. The father didn't come to see any of his three kids.

Then after some time went by, the oldest daughter was getting married, and the jerk upped and dropped dead of a heart attack at the age of 49 the very week of the wedding. Girlfriend was nowhere to be found, and now the daughter was next of kin. My coworker drove to the next state where his body was, paid for the cheapest possible disposal of it, and they were all done with him.

[SerlingHitchcockJPeele]

Originally Posted by Ted Bear

Based on the facts as presented in this thread, this is NOT the case, but before we throw every Dad overboard, there can many times be more than one side to these stories.

I dealt with a narcisstic lawyer wife through divorce. She pulled every nasty trick in the books, including doing everything possible to prevent me from seeing my children.

A first i jumped through hoops: rented a big house to allow for visits and overnights; stayed in the area; did everything possible to stay in the children's lives--school, extra curricular activities, friends, etc.

Little by little she shut me out of their lives and yes, i threw in the towel. Said i would see the children when they were 18 and could make their own decisions.

Turns out they had their mother figured out and were just waiting, as was i, for the time when they were out from under her control.

Like every relationship with children who have been through such a mess, it isn't the best, but it is good and we work hard to make it better on both sides.

They despise the mother.

I've never walked a mile in your shoes so I don't say this with any contempt to you; I would never "throw in the towel" on my children. I'd fight for them and whatever issue she had with me (baring abuse or posing a danger to the children), would not be enough to make me cry "uncle".

[SerlingHitchcockJPeele]

Originally Posted by 2mares

Attorneys cost a lot of money and letting children decide is totally up to the judge. Not everyone has thousands of dollars for nothing.

I hear ya, and admittedly I've never gone through a divorce or child custody battle before (hopefully never will)... but if two parents are responsible adults with no history of abuse or drug and alcohol addictions, how many thousands of dollars do people normally have to pay simply to get joint custody of their children?

One shouldn't need to be wealthy, if there is nothing in a person's legal history which would prevent them from having access to their children. Aren't cases where joint-legal custody is not awarded because of an issue(s) which was discovered and PROVEN to be valid?

Though I've never been through this, it doesn't seem completely true that one would need to become impoverished to keep their children if they have track record of being always present, financially stable and responsible. But personally, even if I did need to spend every dime... I would.

[zentropa]

Originally Posted by SerlingHitchcockJPeele

I hear ya, and admittedly I've never gone through a divorce or child custody battle before (hopefully never will)... but if two parents are responsible adults with no history of abuse or drug and alcohol addictions, how many thousands of dollars do people normally have to pay simply to get joint custody of their children?

One shouldn't need to be wealthy, if there is nothing in a person's legal history which would prevent them from having access to their children. Aren't cases where joint-legal custody is not awarded because of an issue(s) which was discovered and PROVEN to be valid?

Though I've never been through this, it doesn't seem completely true that one would need to become impoverished to keep their children if they have track record of being always present, financially stable and responsible. But personally, even if I did need to spend every dime... I would.

I think moms almost always feel this way, but as we see from this thread, dads not as much.