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I have always thought that calling someone Mr. or Ms. or Mrs. is a little too formal, so I have encouraged my 5-yr old to call a grown-up by their first name preceeded by Uncle or Aunt. Right, so instead of me telling my son, "Go ask Ms. Megan if you can pat her dog", I tell him, "Go ask Aunt Megan if you can pat her dog". And that's exactly what he will call her.
My question: Is this a big no-no? No one has complained so far, but I hope I am not making them feel uncomfortable. I guess "Uncle" and "Aunt" are strictly reserved for blood relatives and my fear is that I (unintentionally) might be crossing those boundaries.
I think a lot depends on the community you live in, and your opinions of whether your children should follow the norms of that community or not.
I am very much a call everyone by their first names mom, and the city my children were born in was that way. When we moved to a more conservative area calling anyone anything other than Mr or Mrs Last Name is considered very rude. My kids call a few of my close friends by their first name, and few other Miss First Name, but in order not to tick people off we have learned that Mr and Mrs Last Name is safer.
Last edited by Zimbochick; 09-30-2011 at 07:15 AM..
I let the other adults decide how they want to be addressed by my children. One might prefer Mrs. Last Name. Another might prefer First Name Only. Another might prefer Miss First Name. But I allow someone to Aunt or Uncle if they aren't an Aunt or Uncle.
It really depends on the adult in question, combined with the nature of the friendship with the parent. My dad's best friend, we called by first name. His other best friend, we called Uncle Buddah, because he had a perfect, basket-ball-round belly and us kids used to get a kick out of rubbing it for good luck.
Another friend we called Mrs. So-and-So, and another Aunt Something. Yet another was "Other Mom," and in the spirit of Courtship of Eddie's Father, another was "Mr. Sue's Dad."
I think a lot depends on the community you live in, and your opinions of whether your children should follow the norms of that community or not.
I am very much a call everyone by their first names mom, and the city my children were born in was that way. When we moved to a more conservative area calling anyone anything other than Mr or Mrs Last Name is considered very rude. My kids call a few of my close friends my their first name, and few other Miss First Name, but in order not to tick people off we have learned that Mr and Mrs Last Name is safer.
Around here, it's a mixed bag. It's not complicated though. Adults tell children what to call them via how they introduce themselves, or they will correct the children.
For example, when children call me Mrs Last Name, I tell them my first name. I kept my maiden name after marrying. Mrs. Last Name reminds me of my mother, which isn't a bad thing but its not my preference to be reminded of her 24/7. Plus, when I was younger, it made me feel old.
Some parents insist that their children use Mrs. and it doesn't bother me if they must. But it's odd when they switch from Mrs. Last Name to my first name after they become young adults. It sounds weird having them suddenly calling me a different name, even though it's the name most people use. It's hard to get out of that. I still call some of my friend's parents Mrs. Last Name even though I am an adult. I can't just suddenly changed a person's name because I've suddenly reached a different standing in society.
My neighbor across the street prefers Mrs. First Name. A few others too but they're not really the norm here.
Miss First Name is very uncommon here. Only daycare workers and preschool teachers seem to do that.
Want to know something cool about kids? They can adapt easily. A name is a name. They don't get confused that some people like to be called X and others like to be called Y.
I'd also add to the regional thing, I used to encourage kids to call me by my first name, but many parents do not want their children doing that.
Around here, children with those types of parents KNOW they are forbidden to use a first name even if an adult says it's okay. If they MUST call me Mrs. Last Name, I gracefully concede. It's rare enough here that I never had to change my ways. I just adapt to each child accordingly.
I have one of those houses that kids are constantly in and out of. We are kind of the open house for the neighborhood kids. Even though I only have 1 kid, it is pretty common to have over 10 kids running through my house.
I sat for a minute and thought about all of the neighborhood kids and what they call me. The majority call me by my first name. The newer kids to the group mostly call me DD's Mommy, but I think that is mostly because they forget my name. I don't think any of them even know my last name to call me Mrs. LastName. I also think I would be very uncomfortable for kids to call me that.
My best friend's kids call me Aunt Num. And my DD calls her and her husband Aunt & Uncle.
Me too, I answer to anything as long as it's polite. Well, no, I'll pretty much answer to anything! I answer to Mrs. MyLastName or Mrs. DHLastName, whatever.
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I answer to Mrs. MyLastName or Mrs. DHLastName, whatever.
