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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,701 posts, read 41,786,605 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kygman
Your instinct is to run away to the suburbs. OK, then if things start to get bad "15 blocks in any direction" while you're there, I guess you pack up and move again. Uh, oh, more trouble "15 blocks in any direction"! Start packing the boxes! We gotta move again! Can't blame your son for being resentful. Stop being paranoid!
I grew up in Hampton, VA. Locals will tell you “you are no more than two blocks away from the ghetto” in that city and that is true. Exactly why my mother was very transparent about the need to leave during my time in HS. You do whatever you have to do to not have your kids in harms way.
Parents get to decide where to live. Families move all the time. When your child is an adult, he can decide where he wants to live.
If he was in his junior/senior year of high school and very involved in a lot of activities with a good peer group, then it might be wise to delay a move until he finishes up.
Being able to handle change is an important life skill.
As a child of parents who moved a lot, my perspective is that, although I hated it when I was a kid, it has made me so much more flexible as an adult. It's not a good trait to be afraid of change, and leaning into that weakness now will hinder the child's success in the future.
Agree with the above, if it was maybe a year or two before graduating high school I'd have more reservations since those are such important years for standardized tests, college applications, etc, but anything outside those ~2 years are fair game.
As a child of parents who moved a lot, my perspective is that, although I hated it when I was a kid, it has made me so much more flexible as an adult. It's not a good trait to be afraid of change, and leaning into that weakness now will hinder the child's success in the future.
Agree with the above, if it was maybe a year or two before graduating high school I'd have more reservations since those are such important years for standardized tests, college applications, etc, but anything outside those ~2 years are fair game.
Agree. I would do it now instead of waiting until HS. And since he's in the same school, he's not losing total contact with those people.
Kids change a lot from 7th-12th grade. Getting sooner in the transition is better. I moved to a better school in a better neighborhood for 11th grade and it was really hard. It was a good education, but connecting was difficult. Talked to someone recently who was in school with me in 10th grade who also moved and she had the same types of difficulties. My older sister, on the other hand, did it for 11th and 12th, but was in the band and made good connections through that. And I had previously moved in 8th grade, but was pretty settled in by 10th grade.
A disturbance to your kids life or someone getting shot...I'll take the disturbance.
There is a spectrum of course but most any type change are "end of the world" feeling to kids. Your kid won't be 30yrs old and be resentful of the move.
Best of luck with whatever you decide.
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