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He's still in jail? Why haven't his parents bailed him out yet?
What was your wife's reaction?
My daughter didn't tell my wife that he was still locked up. Earlier I heard her tell my wife she wanted to try and handle this on her own so I suspect she didn't mention it because she knew my wife would want to help. I never went into detail the conversation I had with his father I just told her who called me what he asked of me and what I did. I never told her he was still in jail.
She was having issues. She was enrolled in college and decided to stop with only one year left. She took a job in an Ice-Cream shop where she is now the manager. Her boyfriend previously cheated on her, and because she never told us she stopped going to school the $105K in student loans became due. Both my wife and I were on the hook for the loan, which I paid off with part of the money set aside for my retirement.
Well, being the victim of a cheating SO is certainly a traumatic event for most people. Maybe moreso for someone young dealing with the first serious betrayal they have experienced. Could have also involved an unplanned pregnancy you don't know about.
Do you believe she accused you to get off the hook on the school loan or somehow assuage her conscience about any obligation she had to pay it back. What was the deal before she accused you on who paid what back?
Well, being the victim of a cheating SO is certainly a traumatic event for most people. Maybe moreso for someone young dealing with the first serious betrayal they have experienced. Could have also involved an unplanned pregnancy you don't know about.
Do you believe she accused you to get off the hook on the school loan or somehow assuage her conscience about any obligation she had to pay it back. What was the deal before she accused you on who paid what back?
The original deal was for her to pay all the loans back with some help from my wife and I. This agreement was made way before she accused me.
I am pretty sure the OP isn't lying, so the validity of his polygraph is just to support his credibility to his wife or others involved. I don't think it relevant to his problem he is having with his daughter. He knows she lied about him or he would not have posted a thread about it.
I am not saying he is lying only that a polygraph is not proof one is telling the truth. Being in law enforcement he should know that.
Now to make things worse I just received a call from the boyfriend's father. He asked me if there was anything I could do for his son who wound up being processed and taken to central booking still waiting to see a judge. I told him to call a lawyer and hung up. That was highly inappropriate. A few minutes later my daughter calls my wife crying that I hung up on her boyfriend's father. My wife asked me what happened and I told her that calling me asking me to intervene on an arrest was not going to happen. I didn't do it when her brother (my wife's) got locked up, and I turned my uncle in, so there is no way I'm getting involved here, and that she already knows my take on this situation. I told my wife at least he wasn't falsely accused.
Wow. Are you trying to get divorced and never see your daughter ever again?
If there is I haven't found a way around it. I went and paid for a polygraph test to prove I was telling the truth. I felt that was the best way for me to give some proof that what she alleged was a lie. I feel the only way to begin to heal is for her to take a polygraph. If I took that drastic measure to prove I didn't do what she alleged then she needs to do the same.
If you were a police officer, you'd know that polygraph tests are fairly easy to give false positive answers. If you are relaxed, you are less likely to pop for a lie. If you believe a lie, you are also less likely to pop for a lie. You can also throw off the response during the control questions, making it more likely you can lie without buzzing. So while I don't think you lied, I don't fully believe that there is a truth.
Now as for helping out DD's boyfriend, why? It is driving with a suspended license. The boyfriend isn't tied to a drug conviction, robbery, assault or manslaughter/murder case. It is the guy either got tickets up the wazoo or had a prior DUI or something and hasn't gotten the license reinstated. That is on him. You maybe harsh, but you have no reason to help set it straight. You did the right thing by saying lawyer up.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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This is pretty open and shut for me personally. Decline to help the daughter’s bf out and make him figure it out on his own. He made the mess, he needs to clean it up. If the thing you took a polygraph for is that serious it merited a polygraph, I would not ever trust that person again to even be in contact with them. Your wife should realize that this may be a matter of protecting your livelihood which your daughter has show she is willing to destroy.
This is pretty open and shut for me personally. Decline to help the daughter’s bf out and make him figure it out on his own. He made the mess, he needs to clean it up. If the thing you took a polygraph for is that serious it merited a polygraph, I would not ever trust that person again to even be in contact with them. Your wife should realize that this may be a matter of protecting your livelihood which your daughter has show she is willing to destroy.
Okay, this might be beyond the scope of this thread, but... why??? What was OP's relationship with his daughter like before she told the lie? Does she have mental illness? Also, you say an apology is necessary, yet not enough? I don't know. The idea of an adult holding a life long grudge against their own child strikes me as all sorts of wrong, along with the "my way or the highway" stance/ultimatum.
In my opinion, you shouldn't try to help your daughter's boyfriend. why did he took a suspended license with him while driving? what made his license to get suspended? So from this we can understand that there is something wrong with him. So you shouldn't try to support him in this.
Now to make things worse I just received a call from the boyfriend's father. He asked me if there was anything I could do for his son who wound up being processed and taken to central booking still waiting to see a judge. I told him to call a lawyer and hung up. That was highly inappropriate. A few minutes later my daughter calls my wife crying that I hung up on her boyfriend's father. My wife asked me what happened and I told her that calling me asking me to intervene on an arrest was not going to happen. I didn't do it when her brother (my wife's) got locked up, and I turned my uncle in, so there is no way I'm getting involved here, and that she already knows my take on this situation. I told my wife at least he wasn't falsely accused.
How not to improve any situation? Hang up on someone.
Could you have been a bit less provoking and still say the same thing. That did not help wiirh your relationship with your wife, which is your stated primary concern.
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