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My perspective is that siblings have a bond they cannot get elsewhere and it’s one that will last far after you’re gone. My own situation was infertility for several years after marriage, had our first when I was 27 and hubby was 41. We are expecting our last baby #6 now and I’m 39 and he will be 53.
I don’t feel you’re being selfish btw. Hubby has gone back and forth on it these past few times and just decided to leave it in God’s hands. We had long felt six was “our number” so we were open to it. But there were times we did argue about it and we have the same feelings of stress as other parents, finances, time, and he is not super far from retirement age so that’s a consideration. So, I do get where you’re coming from, but I also think giving the child a sibling is important for a variety of reasons. You will love them both no matter how you currently feel. As a woman, that feeling of your family being incomplete is enough to break a person, so be considerate of her as well.
Completely understand. Thank you very much and god bless!!!
It sounds like he just doesn't want another kid. At his age and the wife's age that is understandable. I was just talking to a woman who had a frozen embryo she wanted to use and her husband said he couldn't do a 3rd kid. That was that. People seem to think it's no big deal for a woman to have a baby in her 40s but it's no joke. A baby is pretty easy. They wake up at night but there's no chasing them around for another year or two. But it doesn't get any easier. Women in their 40s should feel lucky to have one baby. I can't tell you how many people I know who've had ivf and we really don't know the long term effects of it on mom and baby.
IVF is not new technology. We have decades of data about its safety.
Boo hoo, you gotta wake up with a baby and chase a toddler for a couple years. So what? This argument is pitiful.
Never heard this in my life. I think back in the day before birth control it was common for women to have a 4th, 5th or 6th child in their 40s. I have never heard of it being a thing to postpone having kids until a woman's late 30s early 40s. It seems to happen more now than ever before. My question is why do doctors have such alarm bells when a woman is 35+ and pregnant? It's called high risk, woman is referred to as of advanced maternal age. What made 35 the number ? We also hear the saying, your biological clock is ticking. Maybe that's not said as much now?
No it is NOT “high risk” automatically. Jeeze, these ignorant comments have got to end. Once you hit age 35, it’s called a “geriatric” pregnancy, and there is a slightly elevated chance of certain chromosomal defects that typically result in losing the baby anyway, often early on in the pregnancy. I would also like to know what made 35 the number bc it is pretty arbitrary. No two women are alike. And having had only one kid so far, the OP’s wife is not as at risk for things like PP hemorrhage which women like me who have had so many ARE at risk for. I’m not even automatically considered “high risk” bc I’m 39 and having my sixth. Doctors know each case is different.
As a woman, that feeling of your family being incomplete is enough to break a person, so be considerate of her as well.
I agree. One child is basically a two-legged pet, a Lilliput among giants. That's one hell of a lonely way to grow up. I grew up exactly like that.
Speaking of pets, if parents are adamant about having only one child, the least they should be required to do is to get a dog or a cat. This way, the child can "outrank" at least someone, even if that "someone" is an animal. There's nothing worse as a kid than being the lowest of the low.
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 01-08-2023 at 10:05 PM..
IVF is not new technology. We have decades of data about its safety.
Boo hoo, you gotta wake up with a baby and chase a toddler for a couple years. So what? This argument is pitiful.
Um because maybe not everyone wants to do that? You've had 6 kids. Clearly you enjoy children and being around them all time. You must realize having 6 kids today is not normal and some might call YOU selfish for contributing so much to overpopulation. You are coming on here like everyone should be having as many kids as you did and enjoy it and that's life. No it isn't.
Um because maybe not everyone wants to do that? You've had 6 kids. Clearly you enjoy children and being around them all time. You must realize having 6 kids today is not normal and some might call YOU selfish for contributing so much to overpopulation. You are coming on here like everyone should be having as many kids as you did and enjoy it and that's life. No it isn't.
The Western world doesn't have an overpopulation problem, it has a declining population problem. I think that for everyone who wants kids to have as many as they want, and those who don't want kids not to have any, is the ideal solution. And I personally would rather see one family with six kids and five families with none, than six families each with an only child. I think having several siblings is ideal.
But I don't read anywhere that this mother of 6, or the mother of 11 who is also on this thread, thinks that everyone should have as many kids as they did. You are just making that up.
The Western world doesn't have an overpopulation problem, it has a declining population problem. I think that for everyone who wants kids to have as many as they want, and those who don't want kids not to have any, is the ideal solution. And I personally would rather see one family with six kids and five families with none, than six families each with an only child. I think having several siblings is ideal.
But I don't read anywhere that this mother of 6, or the mother of 11 who is also on this thread, thinks that everyone should have as many kids as they did. You are just making that up.
I didn't say anything about having as many kids as they did but the mother of 6 who commented really seems to think that this guy having one more kid (at 48 and wife is 43) is no big deal and he should suck it up and do it. That is just really bad advice and yes it comes back to just because you have 6 kids doesn't mean everyone should be having kids.
I didn't say anything about having as many kids as they did but the mother of 6 who commented really seems to think that this guy having one more kid (at 48 and wife is 43) is no big deal and he should suck it up and do it. That is just really bad advice and yes it comes back to just because you have 6 kids doesn't mean everyone should be having kids.
Me again. Want to thank everyone again for providing their insight.
Well my wife wanted to get the genetic testing done on the 10 frozen embryos. Four of them came back mosaic meaning some abnormal cells and six came back abnormal and four came back normal. The nurse said that that’s actually a lot to be normal was good. She asked my wife if she wanted to know the sex and she was hesitant but said yeah. She got a feeling the nurse wanted to tell her. The four normal embryos are all girls lol. The nurse said that’s very rare. My two year old right now is a girl lol.
I am so torn on what to do about having another child. I really do want my daughter to have a sibling. I know everyone has different opinions but I think it would be good for her. I understand there’s no guarantees regarding how close they will be. I’m just very concerned that I’m going to be 50 in February 24’ And this is gonna be a lot of work for a couple years that I’m Sort of not looking forward to lol. But I feel like my daughter and Her happiness and her having a sibling(again I get it no guarantees) Is more important. Just thought I’d give an update
Um because maybe not everyone wants to do that? You've had 6 kids. Clearly you enjoy children and being around them all time. You must realize having 6 kids today is not normal and some might call YOU selfish for contributing so much to overpopulation. You are coming on here like everyone should be having as many kids as you did and enjoy it and that's life. No it isn't.
We have a state election here in NSW in two weeks time. Our state Premier and his wife have seven children, the youngest being one year old. It is not at all normal here to have that many kids and he replaced a single childless woman, who resigned.
Quite a few interviews being done with this going on and he comments that the only thing people seem to want to discuss with him is that he has so many kids and whether they are planning any more.
Like it or not, a very large family defines you.
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