I left our 4yr old in Car in driveway. (babysitters, babies, parents)

[Bdoug83]

I know I am not suppose to. But getting ready in the morning to take my son to the babysitters I needed to make two trips. My son wouldn’t stay inside alone. It was 20 degrees out and he gets sick easy so I decided to take him first and put him in the car seat rather than him running out after me and then me having to run back inside to grab the other bag. Put him in the car seat and ran back in to get the bag. 10-15 seconds I was back to my truck. We live at the end of a street with no traffic. Just neighbors. My fiancé saw it on the Ring and got furious with me and it turned into a big fight. Huge fight. Where she was calling me a horrible father and damn near hitting me. I didn’t want to do it and I know it’s wrong. But it was cold and I didn’t want him outside any longer than he needed to be. I obviously have never done this in public. But is my fiancé overreacting or are her actions justified? Thanks.

[coschristi]

Originally Posted by Bdoug83

I know I am not suppose to. But getting ready in the morning to take my son to the babysitters I needed to make two trips. My son wouldn’t stay inside alone. It was 20 degrees out and he gets sick easy so I decided to take him first and put him in the car seat rather than him running out after me and then me having to run back inside to grab the other bag. Put him in the car seat and ran back in to get the bag. 10-15 seconds I was back to my truck. We live at the end of a street with no traffic. Just neighbors. My fiancé saw it on the Ring and got furious with me and it turned into a big fight. Huge fight. Where she was calling me a horrible father and damn near hitting me. I didn’t want to do it and I know it’s wrong. But it was cold and I didn’t want him outside any longer than he needed to be. I obviously have never done this in public. But is my fiancé overreacting or are her actions justified? Thanks.

If I'm understanding the events correctly then yeah, she's overreacting; says this mom of eleven kids, including two sets of twins & grandmother to ten. I've had more kids than I've had arms since 1988, when I was 19 years old. My arms have been outnumbered by kids for 34 years, I have the routine down to a science.

You don't leave a four year old alone in the house to load the car. You don't a leave four year old running around in the driveway while you load the car. You put the four year old in their five-point harness seat in the car & then do your running back & forth.

This is also my pet peeve in grocery store parking lots when I see people turn their backs on their kids still sitting in the basket to put the groceries away first. You secure the CHILD first, where someone can't grab them or God forbid hit the cart with their car. It's okay if your groceries get snagged or toppled. It's not okay if it's the kid.

Also, do not get the kid out at the gas station or car wash. Please.

You did it the right way.

[A New Day]

I agree with coschristi.

That is how I always did it. My husband chastised me over it, but it really was the best way to go.

He left my son in the house to load up the car and my son locked him out of the house. My son was not quite 2.

[Mattie]

Why couldn't a four year old walk to the car while dad carries the bag though?

[E-Twist]

Four years old and he is unable to obey you about staying in the house while you run a bag out? She should be upset about that.

I assume the car keys weren't in the ignition? Only takes a few seconds to steal a car, even if you think no one else is around. I can see having a discussion about it, but it's not huge fight material. Probably just as well you never got around to marrying her.

[rrah]

The OP never mentioned the son's age. A four year old was the hypothetical example provided by coschristi. I suspect the OP's son is younger.

OP-that's the way to do it.

[A New Day]

Originally Posted by rrah

The OP never mentioned the son's age. A four year old was the hypothetical example provided by coschristi. I suspect the OP's son is younger.

OP-that's the way to do it.

The title of the thread says 4 year old.

That is true that a 4 year old should be able to walk to the vehicle himself. Either way, how the OP did it is fine.

[elnina]

If she thinks he did it wrong, I wonder how she is doing it...

OP, you did everything right and she is hysteric.
Although you could hold the bags (how many bags you need?) hold your son's hand and walk to the car together. A 4 year child is capable to walk alone and follow his parents commands, no?

BTW: she is STILL your fiance? I thought you wanted to marry her 4 years ago ...

[Kristinas_Cap]

Your fiancé is over reacting based on the information you provided in this thread. What was she afraid was going to happen? 4 year olds are pretty big "little" kids and capable of helping bring things out. They aren't babies anymore and can certainly safely wait in the car while it gets loaded.

Actually, this reminds me of when I had little kids only a few short years ago. We have grocery cart vigilantes mostly on the internet and in New Jersey that get red in the face and equate you to Mussolini if you don't return the grocery cart to the coral. Having little kids and loading them up in the car, then loading the groceries, then returning the cart like a good internet human. Yup, kids would sit in the locked car while I walked the cart back. Sometimes it would take about 30 frantic seconds. You did nothing wrong.

[msRB311]

I don't see what you did wrong here either. I think this is fine to do at any age. Wifey sounds a bit nuts.