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Old 01-14-2023, 05:37 PM
 
Location: At mah house
720 posts, read 500,385 times
Reputation: 1094

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I’ll preface this by saying this isn’t my story; it’s my brother-in-law and his wife.

I don’t know all the details but apparently there was an incident at school involving their 13 year old son at school. He’d gotten in trouble — nothing major, but they did call his mom over it — and she was livid. I guess there was a back-and-forth at home and she got mad and said she’s going to “send him away because she’s sick of him”. Dad comes home, kid is crying his eyes out because his mom “doesn’t love him”, mom is upset he got him trouble.

He told me this and he talked to him and mom is upset days later. I told him I get her being upset but she’s gonna have to apologize to her son for saying that. He said his son knows she loves him, and knows she’s upset. I told him that’s letting her off the hook because she took it too far. I don’t think it’s a good example to set that when you get mad you get to say stuff like that, because then he’ll start to think that’s the way to handle his problems, if not worse.

Between me and you, I’m not the biggest fan of his wife anyway. She’s always seemed a little hard to deal with. Like she has a good heart but absolutely seems like the type of person to cut into someone like that. But hey, I’m not married to her so I couldn’t care less. But that’s gonna be tough for the son.
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Old 01-14-2023, 07:31 PM
 
7,320 posts, read 4,115,298 times
Reputation: 16775
Quote:
Originally Posted by jdmil View Post
I’ll preface this by saying this isn’t my story; it’s my brother-in-law and his wife.

I don’t know all the details but apparently there was an incident at school involving their 13 year old son at school. He’d gotten in trouble — nothing major, but they did call his mom over it — and she was livid. I guess there was a back-and-forth at home and she got mad and said she’s going to “send him away because she’s sick of him”. Dad comes home, kid is crying his eyes out because his mom “doesn’t love him”, mom is upset he got him trouble.

He told me this and he talked to him and mom is upset days later. I told him I get her being upset but she’s gonna have to apologize to her son for saying that. He said his son knows she loves him, and knows she’s upset. I told him that’s letting her off the hook because she took it too far. I don’t think it’s a good example to set that when you get mad you get to say stuff like that, because then he’ll start to think that’s the way to handle his problems, if not worse.

Between me and you, I’m not the biggest fan of his wife anyway. She’s always seemed a little hard to deal with. Like she has a good heart but absolutely seems like the type of person to cut into someone like that. But hey, I’m not married to her so I couldn’t care less. But that’s gonna be tough for the son.
It's none of your business - butt out!

Schools dread calling parents. If a school calls the parents, it's major.

Thirteen is the age of rebellion. At that age, boys push boundaries to get a reaction from their parents.

No, she doesn't have to apologize - but you do. Stay out of other people's marriage and parenting!

Just stop this! Seriously losing your temper means hitting the kid, cruel punishments, etc. You downplayed the seriousness of the school's call and are exaggerating her reacting.
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Old 01-14-2023, 07:39 PM
 
Location: On the Chesapeake
45,333 posts, read 60,500,026 times
Reputation: 60917
Have I ever gotten really angry at one of my children?

Just today or are you looking at longer time periods.

As someone said, it's none of your business.
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Old 01-14-2023, 07:48 PM
 
Location: Tricity, PL
61,649 posts, read 87,001,838 times
Reputation: 131603
Quote:
Originally Posted by YorktownGal View Post
It's none of your business - butt out!

Schools dread calling parents. If a school calls the parents, it's major.

Thirteen is the age of rebellion. At that age, boys push boundaries to get a reaction from their parents.

No, she doesn't have to apologize - but you do. Stay out of other people's marriage and parenting!

Just stop this! Seriously losing your temper means hitting the kid, cruel punishments, etc. You downplayed the seriousness of the school's call and are exaggerating her reacting.

Yes. I agree with this ^^^

Wonder if OP has children...
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Old 01-15-2023, 03:06 PM
 
Location: At mah house
720 posts, read 500,385 times
Reputation: 1094
Quote:
Originally Posted by YorktownGal View Post
It's none of your business - butt out!

Schools dread calling parents. If a school calls the parents, it's major.

Thirteen is the age of rebellion. At that age, boys push boundaries to get a reaction from their parents.

No, she doesn't have to apologize - but you do. Stay out of other people's marriage and parenting!

Just stop this! Seriously losing your temper means hitting the kid, cruel punishments, etc. You downplayed the seriousness of the school's call and are exaggerating her reacting.
Uh, excuse you, but the child’s father told me about this. I didn’t butt in anything. Sheesh. You must be the child’s mother.

I have a son, btw.
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Old 01-15-2023, 04:10 PM
 
Location: The Driftless Area, WI
7,238 posts, read 5,114,062 times
Reputation: 17722
The title of the thread caught my eye (short answer- no) but it reminds me of an anecdote when the son was about 8 or 9 y/o...

His mother was havng no luck getting him to clean his room, so she told me to go in and yell at him..I went in, pretending I was mad, and started readng him the riot act. He stood there with arms folded and a serious, concerned look on his face. When I stopped to catch my breath he shook his head and said, "No doubt about it.. I gotta start thinking about getting my own place."
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Old 01-16-2023, 09:47 PM
 
18,381 posts, read 19,008,619 times
Reputation: 15694
Lots of time adults are wrong in what they say to their children. Many don’t apologize for many reasons. They’re the parent they’re allowed. They don’t think it’s a big deal nor do they feel it really hurt the child emotionally. Not all parents are emotionally mature to handle with rationality an emotionally charged situations with their kids.
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Old 01-17-2023, 06:18 AM
 
Location: North Dakota
10,350 posts, read 13,925,188 times
Reputation: 18267
Quote:
Originally Posted by jdmil View Post
I’ll preface this by saying this isn’t my story; it’s my brother-in-law and his wife.

I don’t know all the details but apparently there was an incident at school involving their 13 year old son at school. He’d gotten in trouble — nothing major, but they did call his mom over it — and she was livid. I guess there was a back-and-forth at home and she got mad and said she’s going to “send him away because she’s sick of him”. Dad comes home, kid is crying his eyes out because his mom “doesn’t love him”, mom is upset he got him trouble.

He told me this and he talked to him and mom is upset days later. I told him I get her being upset but she’s gonna have to apologize to her son for saying that. He said his son knows she loves him, and knows she’s upset. I told him that’s letting her off the hook because she took it too far. I don’t think it’s a good example to set that when you get mad you get to say stuff like that, because then he’ll start to think that’s the way to handle his problems, if not worse.

Between me and you, I’m not the biggest fan of his wife anyway. She’s always seemed a little hard to deal with. Like she has a good heart but absolutely seems like the type of person to cut into someone like that. But hey, I’m not married to her so I couldn’t care less. But that’s gonna be tough for the son.
It sounds like you need to mind your own business.
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Old 01-17-2023, 11:56 AM
 
16,306 posts, read 8,126,207 times
Reputation: 11332
that's an awful thing to say to your kid but people say things when they're angry. Perhaps the kid is a pain in the ass. People out there HAVE sent their kids away if they are out of control. I'd feel guilty if I ever said this to my kid but it's better than beating them I guess? Hopefully the kid will understand that mom was at her boiling point and said something out of anger.

Sounds like there's more going on here than that though.
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Old 01-17-2023, 12:22 PM
 
5,655 posts, read 3,139,106 times
Reputation: 14361
When me and my kids would be mad at each other, sometimes one or the other would say they hated me. I'd just look at him and say "I don't like you very much either, right now." Then they'd be all "But I love you mom!" and I'd be like "I will always love you too, but I'm not real happy with you right now."
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