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Yes, kids are sent home immediately if they are suspected of being sick. And yes, of course you figure it out. I mean your toddler can't sit out on the curb until you come get them. Best o have a plan ahead of time.
How do you not burn through your PTO? You do burn through it Lol. When you have kids, they are your life, things change. Most parents live for their kids and selfishness diminishes.
When my kid was young (many years ago) my wife and I both worked and famly was far away so no help there unfortunately. You figure it out. If our kid was sick, we each looked at our calendars and the one who could take off did take off. We also alternated but yeah, we used a lot of PTO. My office was closer to the 4daycare and I had more flexibility to leave in the middle of the day so if it was unexpected, I would take off. If it was planned and we knew the kid would not be going to daycare the following day, my wife cancelled her work stuff and took off.
We also lived in a condo and were friendly with our neighbors. The neighbors mother watched their kids so there was a couple of times that she was nice enough to help us. There are also groups of parents that get together and share responsibility and help each other. Different models.
But short answer is that yes, you will be responsible and you will use your time the way you need to in order to care for your family.
Just a little expectation setting for ya - many of use parents went through mega tough times. No money, always broke, always tired, always stressed, etc. I had a career but took on another job, etc. When your in it, it feels unsurmountable but somehow we got through it and I must say, looking back those were some of the best time of my life. Struggling to build and care for your family is admirable. Although it did not feel admirable at the time, it felt hard and stressful. One big key is to be with the right person so you can work together and support each other. My wife also had a full time career but did more around the house and watching the kid while I worked my second job. We were still broke! Lol. Good times though.
Yeah, you lose PTO and you struggle and somehow you survive (with debt!) while it seems like everyone else is partying. F everyone else. Sink yourself into your life and make it great and rich. Slowly you get your own life back but suprisingly you really miss the tough times. It's an empty feeling after being through so much and nothing really matters as much as it did back then.
Anyway, have kids. It'll mess you up - hopefully in a good way.
This was a big reason that I quit working to stay at home when our first child was born. That way, when something came up with the kids, the house, the dogs or whatever I was there to take care of it. No more taking leave to go home and meet the plumber or pick a sick kid up from school.
We were lucky that years before we bought a smaller, less expensive home so we had the option of me staying at home when the time came.
This was a big reason that I quit working to stay at home when our first child was born. That way, when something came up with the kids, the house, the dogs or whatever I was there to take care of it. No more taking leave to go home and meet the plumber or pick a sick kid up from school.
We were lucky that years before we bought a smaller, less expensive home so we had the option of me staying at home when the time came.
That worked for us. My husband had a very demanding job which required him to travel on short notice. He could have been gone for days or weeks. I was cheaper than a maid and a nanny.
I never would have someone not in my house watch my kids when they were sick. It seems like you would put the caregiver at risk of also getting sick. My vote is having the parents take time off work for a sick kid instead of ask a grandparent or someone else to watch the kid.
I never would have someone not in my house watch my kids when they were sick. It seems like you would put the caregiver at risk of also getting sick. My vote is having the parents take time off work for a sick kid instead of ask a grandparent or someone else to watch the kid.
Thats the thing, one only has so much sick leave and personal days. With sickness and school closings it dosen't take long to burn through it.
I never would have someone not in my house watch my kids when they were sick. It seems like you would put the caregiver at risk of also getting sick. My vote is having the parents take time off work for a sick kid instead of ask a grandparent or someone else to watch the kid.
It's up to the caregiver obviously. Most don't mind if your little one has a little cough, fever, etc. Kids are constantly sick unfortunately. Of course, just a few years ago (before 2020!), kids weren't sent home for every little cough, sneeze or whatever. And I fondly remember when AAP published a report that daycares were sending kids home too frequently when sick. I think that was 2014 IIRC. Awww, the good old days when we weren't such OCD hypochondriacs.
Friend hired a mother with two small children and a Suburban to watch their kids before, and after school and whenever they were sick, snow days, etc.
When the woman arrived in the morning, my friend would have her children up, dressed, and eating breakfast. She and her husband would leave for work, and the kids would all play together or watch Sesame Street, ... until it was time to leave for daycare and school. She picked them up after school and daycare, fed them, then let them play, watch TV, etc. until parents got home.
During the week, she also picked up groceries, and fixed snacks and dinners, Usually something in a crockpot. A housekeeper dropped by to clean surfaces, so she didn't worry about that, but would load and unload the dishwasher, or run a load of clothes through the washer as needed.
If one of the kids was sick, she stayed in their home with them for the day. As all the kids had been playing together on a daily basis, so no one worried about being around each other. But that was pre-Covid.
They paid her probably the equivalent of $25/hour in today's wages. Paid taxes, Social Security, even set her up retirement investment account that they both contributed a small amount to. Likely around $500 - $1,000/week by today's standards, depending on the hours required.
My friend said it was well worth it, as she could take time off from being a mother without getting behind. She loved getting her kids in and out of their pajamas, but in and out of carseats, boots, and snowsuits, ... got old in a hurry..
She said they also ate healthier meals, so that was a plus.
Our daughter in Chicago would love to get this arrangement going, but can't afford $2,000+/month.
My daughter and her husband basically decided to move back to Australia from the UK when the issue became too difficult. They had no family over there and it was indeed very difficult when their son was sick and could not go to daycare.
I remember one night she rang me and was desperate. Asked if I could fly over to mind the child, who had a relatively minor ailment. Even offered to pay the airfare. As it is a minimum of 22 hours in the air and would take at least a day to organise, I had to say that by the time I would get there he would likely be recovered. As happened.
Here, they could use their own paid sick-leave as carers leave and they felt more at ease knowing I was nearby. Covid WFH has helped a lot, even though she is mostly in the office he still mostly works from home.
There are many single moms whose father of the children can't/won't help. There's a woman at my job who called off today because her son has a fever. He seems to get sick often and she stays home with him.
This. I have a co-worker with four small kids, from four different totally useless "baby daddies". The youngest two (infants, aged 1 and 2) are in day care, the older two in elementary school, and all four are constantly sick. So far this winter, she's missed an average of two days a week, not counting when she's called to leave work to go pick them up from day care/school when they're sick. Or when one of the "daddies" won't take his sick child on their scheduled visitation days.
My own two DD's are grown (38 and 31), but DH and I tackled the childcare situation by working opposite shifts. He worked nights, I worked days. (That, and we had them over six years apart.) Neither went to daycare (although the oldest did contract chicken pox at preschool). It required a lot of juggling and missed sleep on both our parts, but it worked out in the end.
This. I have a co-worker with four small kids, from four different totally useless "baby daddies". The youngest two (infants, aged 1 and 2) are in day care, the older two in elementary school, and all four are constantly sick. So far this winter, she's missed an average of two days a week, not counting when she's called to leave work to go pick them up from day care/school when they're sick. Or when one of the "daddies" won't take his sick child on their scheduled visitation days.
My own two DD's are grown (38 and 31), but DH and I tackled the childcare situation by working opposite shifts. He worked nights, I worked days. (That, and we had them over six years apart.) Neither went to daycare (although the oldest did contract chicken pox at preschool). It required a lot of juggling and missed sleep on both our parts, but it worked out in the end.
I have had co-workers in long term monogamous marriages in which the father (my co-worker or co-workers' husband) never would take off work for sick kids or kids dr. appts. It all fell on the working mother who often had to go to part time due to all the missed days.
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