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I don't have kids, but I am considering that I may still want to at some point. Do most daycares and schools send kids home for common colds, and if so, how do you avoid burning through all your PTO/leave at work to take care of the kids?
Is there a reliably workable solution to this (other than having one parent forgo full-time employment), or do you just "figure it out as you go along" ?
I don't have kids, but I am considering that I may still want to at some point. Do most daycares and schools send kids home for common colds, and if so, how do you avoid burning through all your PTO/leave at work to take care of the kids?
Is there a reliably workable solution to this (other than having one parent forgo full-time employment), or do you just "figure it out as you go along" ?
Yes, kids get sent home for the common cold - especially after covid.
You need to have a grandparent nearby or a nanny.
I was a stay-at-home-mom because I could not simply find another way around the problem.
It's not just when kids are sick. There is the monthly half-day. There are school holidays including Christmas break, spring break, every federal holiday, teachers planning days, and summer vacation. There are also teacher conferences and school plays/events during the day. It's an ever ending issue.
I don't have kids, but I am considering that I may still want to at some point. Do most daycares and schools send kids home for common colds, and if so, how do you avoid burning through all your PTO/leave at work to take care of the kids?
Is there a reliably workable solution to this (other than having one parent forgo full-time employment), or do you just "figure it out as you go along" ?
For starters, you share the responsibility of staying home with your partner. That cuts your days off in half. If your employer offers work from home, that could help as well. If you’re lucky and have family willing to pitch in that’s another option.
Basically you and the person coparenting the kids figure it out as best you can. Little kids get sick. A lot. You do the best you can.
Yes, kids get sent home for the common cold - especially after covid.
You need to have a grandparent nearby or a nanny.
I was a stay-at-home-mom because I could not simply find another way around the problem.
It's not just when kids are sick. There is the monthly half-day. There are school holidays including Christmas break, spring break, every federal holiday, teachers planning days, and summer vacation. There are also teacher conferences and school plays/events during the day. It's an ever ending issue.
To be fair, other than kids actually being sick, it's generally possible to pay for the usual care options for the planned days off. Mine usually went to various day camps and such for the longer holiday breaks, after school programs for half days, etc.
Doesn't really work as well with sick kids, as daycares send them home too. If possible it is good to split that sick time with the spouse, or a SAHM in the neighborhood, or nearby family members. If you're comfortable with it there is also the option to pay a trusted neighbor to stay with sick kids.
I had an older couple across the street I could count on in an emergency, they weren't up to it all the time but great for the odd sick day here and there. My kids saw them nearly everyday and had developed a relationship of sorts so it was comfortable for them too.
It's tough, but as stated above it's a shared responsibility. If our kids are sick, we're not sending them to daycare. The last thing we would want is for another child to potentially catch something like RSV. Our 2 year old caught it last year from daycare and our 1 year old ended up catching it. It was an absolute nightmare for both of them and you feel horrible because there isn't much you can do. No sleep, reduced eating, tough breathing, etc. This will affect the entire house. And that's not even the worst symptoms. Not all parents will take this approach and some will send their kids to school regardless and that's how things continue to spread. Daycares are breeding grounds for bacteria and sicknesses as it is.
As a side note and not directly related to children getting sick, I recommend any parents watch the documentary "Fair Play" on Netflix. Just a great documentary for preparation of becoming parents and keeping the household balanced.
There are many single moms whose father of the children can't/won't help. There's a woman at my job who called off today because her son has a fever. He seems to get sick often and she stays home with him.
There are many single moms whose father of the children can't/won't help. There's a woman at my job who called off today because her son has a fever. He seems to get sick often and she stays home with him.
My son had childhood asthma. It was a nightmare in terms of sick days. My husband had a considerable amount of business travel. Obviously, he couldn't help with sick children while away.
It's scary to be on your own with a sick child. I really feel for single moms. It's terrible.
Last edited by YorktownGal; 01-22-2023 at 11:33 AM..
You use your paid leave of whatever sort. You have kids, you don't get to leave them home alone when they are sick so you can save up enough leave so you can go on a Caribbean vacation next summer. Kids have the highest priority and they get your leave time before any other use of it.
You split sick days with the child's other parent. That reduces your days off work.
If you are lucky, your partner works and you are a stay at home mom (or the other way around, you work and the kids have a stay at home dad.) Having a parent at home full time is the ideal situation and unless you have a huge salary, it often makes financial sense.
You use your paid leave of whatever sort. You have kids, you don't get to leave them home alone when they are sick so you can save up enough leave so you can go on a Caribbean vacation next summer. Kids have the highest priority and they get your leave time before any other use of it.
You split sick days with the child's other parent. That reduces your days off work.
If you are lucky, your partner works and you are a stay at home mom (or the other way around, you work and the kids have a stay at home dad.) Having a parent at home full time is the ideal situation and unless you have a huge salary, it often makes financial sense.
^^This. Like most other aspects of life, your priorities change when you have kids. My first few years back at work, probably every hour of PTO was used for kid-related issues. The big ones can be prepared for (school vacations, the gap weeks between school and summer camp), but rest you just deal with as it happens.
Its good to answer this with your significant other BEFORE you have kids. After my divorce, I started working full time as a teacher. My ex refused to stay home with our kids when they were sick. He claimed he couldn't. He was the CEO of his company, of course he could work from home if needed, he just didn't want to because he was a jerk.
When I worked full time and my kids were in school i always used every scrap of sick leave/personal leave/annual leave available to me, right down to the last minute. One year I missed three weeks because one daughter had the flu for a week, then the next got it for a week, then I had it for a week.
Oldest got mono in middle school and stayed home alone because all she was doing was sleeping and didn't need me for anything.
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